The Duff and the Rockstar
by Jared E
Summary: As a way to escape the realities of life,Ally Dawson begins a secret enemies-with-benefits relationship with bad boy Austin Moon. But she soon finds out that Austin's life is pretty messed up too and that they have a lot more in common than she thought, she soon realizes that she is falling hard for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone. based on the book The DUFF
1. Chapter 1

The Duff and The Rock star

Hey I'm kind of new to fanfiction, I've been a long time reader but this my first time kind of writing fanfiction. I've been a huge fan of Austin and Ally and I'm super bummed it ended so I thought maybe writing a few stories would help me deal with it ending. So I decided the write a fanfic based on one of my favorite books: The Duff, I've changed the names, locations and etc. to fit the show

Disclaimer: I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff

I can't believe I'm here again

Once again, Trish and Cassidy were making fools of themselves shaking their asses on the dance floor as if they were in some rap video. But I guess guys love that kind of crap don't they? I could honestly feel my brain cells slowly dying away as I wondered, for probably hundredth time that night, why did I let them drag me here, again!

Every time we came to _The Beat_ the same thing would always happen. Trish and Cassidy would make their way to the dance floor where they danced, laughed, and flirted with every guy there, and eventually they were hauled out by their caring and protective friend- me – before and slime balls could try and take advantage of them again. But until then, I sat at the bar, talking to Greg, the thirty year old bartender, about "the problem with kids these days"

I didn't want to offend Greg by telling him that one of the biggest problems with my fellow youths was this damn place. The Beat used to be a real bar, but was converted into a teen lounge a few years ago. The rickety old bar still stood but Greg only served non-alcohol drinks while kids listened and danced to live music. I despise the place for the simple reason that it made my friends, who could be somewhat sensible young adults, act like downright idiots. Don't get me wrong, my friends weren't the only ones who acted like idiots. At least half of Marino High went to The Beat on the weekends and no one left with their dignity intact. Well, except me of course.

Seriously, where was the fun in all of this? Want to dance to the same heavy bass techno music week after week? Sure! Then maybe I'll hit on this sweaty, oversexed football player. Maybe we'll have meaningful discussions about education and philosophy while we bump 'n grind. Ugh. Yeah, right.

Trish sat down on the stool next to mine. "You should come dance with us, Als," she said out breath from her vigorous booty-shaking she just got finished doing not two minutes ago. "It's so much fun"

"I'm sure it is" I muttered under my breath

"Oh my gosh" Cassidy sat on my other side, her dark blonde looking a little disheveled from her endless dancing" Did you see that? Did you freaking see that? Elliot just totally hit on me! Omigosh

Trish rolled her eyes "He asked you where you got your shoes, Cass. He's totally gay"

"He's too cute to be gay"

Trish just ignored her and rolled her eyes again while running a hand through her dark curly hair. I've always been envious of my friend's hair and how it flowed effortlessly and always had the scent of fragrant flower thanks to their shampoo and conditioner. I absentmindedly ran a hand through my chestnut colored hair as my hair envy continued to grow.

"Ally, we brought you here to have a good time and dance! Not to sit and mope around talking to the bartender. No offense Greg" she gave him a friendly grin, but I could tell it was fake I'm sure Greg did to because he just turned around muttering something that sounded like " Stupid kids" under his breath. "Trish is right, we are only seniors once, and we should celebrate!" Cassidy interjected

"Will you guys, quit worrying? I'm having a great time. I'm just not dancing because I'm a horrible dancer, you already know that. I'm having a blast here at the bar" I was lying straight through my teeth, well except for the bad dancer part. I was pretty bad, but I do have this one dance I thought wasn't half bad, I call it 'The Ally Way' I knew if told my friends I wasn't having a good time and wanted to go home that their eyes would fill with disappointment

"Go ahead and dance, I'll be fine" I said hoping they weren't catching onto my lying. "Are you sure?" Trish said her eyes narrowed while looking at me as if she was waiting for me to crack. I simply nodded hoping she would leave soon because I knew if she kept looking at me like that I would crack in 10 seconds flat. "Okay then" she finally said. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

Trish grabbed Cassidy's arm dragging her back to the center of the dance floor. I just stared at the clock above the bar hoping this night cold be over soon, so I could get some sleep. I promised myself that I wouldn't ask Trish or Cassidy to leave until eleven O' clock. When I glanced at the clock I saw that it was barely even nine o' clock.

"Hey there"

I rolled and turned to glare at the unwelcomed intruder. This would happen every once in a while, some guy usually with horrible BO and a brain the size of a walnut, would walk over and take a seat next to me trying and failing miserably to make small talk with me. Clearly they hadn't inherited the observant gene, because the expression on my face made it pretty damn obvious that I wasn't in the mood to be swept off my feet. I never was.

Surprisingly, the guy who'd taken the seat next to me didn't stink like pot or armpits. In fact, that might have been cologne I smelled on the air. But my disgust only increased when I realized who the cologne belonged to. I would have preferred and idiot with BO

Austin. Freaking. Moon

"What do you want?" I demanded, not even bothering to be polite.

"Aren't you the friendly type?" Austin asked sarcastically. "Actually, I came to talk to you."

"Well, that sucks for you. I'm not talking to people tonight." I slurped my drink loudly, hoping he'd take the not-so-subtle hint to leave. No such luck. I could feel his dark brown eyes crawling all over me. He couldn't even pretend to be looking me in the eyes, could he? Ugh!

"Come on," Austin teased. "There's no need to be so cold."

"Leave me alone," I hissed through clenched teeth. "Go try your charming act on some tramp with low self-esteem, because I'm not falling for it."

"Oh, I'm not interested in tramps," he said. "That's not my thing."

I snorted. "Any girl who'd give you the time of day, Austin, is most definitely a tramp. No one with taste or class or dignity would actually find you attractive."

Okay. That was a tiny lie.

Austin Moon was the most disgusting womanizing playboy to ever darken the doorstep of Marino High… but he was kind of hot. Maybe if you could put him on mute… and cut off his hands… maybe-just maybe-he'd be tolerable then. Otherwise, he was just an ass, a handsome ass, but an ass still.

"And you do have taste and class and dignity, I assume?" he asked, grinning.

"Yes, I do."

"That's a shame."

"Is this your attempt at flirting?" I asked. "If it is, you fail. Epically."

He laughed. "I never fail at flirting." He ran his fingers through his blond hair and adjusted his crooked, arrogant little grin. "I'm just being friendly. Trying to have a nice conversation."

"Sorry. Not interested." I turned away and took another sip of my Cherry Coke. But he didn't move. Not even an inch. "You can go now," I said forcefully.

Austin sighed. "Fine. You're being really uncooperative, you know. So I guess I'll be honest with you. I've got to hand it to you: you're smarter and more stubborn than most girls I talk to. But I'm here for a little more than witty conversation." He moved his attention to the dance floor. "I actually need your help. You see, your friends are hot. And you, darling, are the Duff."

"Is that even a word?"

"Designated. Ugly. Fat. Friend," he clarified. "No offense, but that would be you."

"I am not the-!"

"Hey, don't get defensive. It's not like you're an ogre or anything, but in comparison…" He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Think about it. Why do they bring you here if you don't dance?" He had the nerve to reach over and pat my knee, like he was trying to comfort me. I jerked away from him, and his fingers moved smoothly to brush some of his bangs out of his face instead. "Look," he said, "you have hot friends… really hot friends." He paused, watching the action on the dance floor for a moment, before facing me again. "Though the short one with curly hair is more my friend Dez's type"

"Her name is Trish" I said getting angrier by the minute

He just rolled his eyes and continued "The point is, scientists have proven that every group of friends has a weak link, a Duff. And girls respond well to guys who associate with their Duffs."

"Imbeciles can call themselves scientists now? That's news to me."

"Don't be bitter," he said. "What I'm saying is, girls-like your friends-find it sexy when guys show some sensitivity and socialize with the Duff. So by talking to you right now I am doubling my chances of getting laid tonight. Please assist me here, and just pretend to enjoy the conversation."

I stared at him, flabbergasted, for a long moment. Beauty really was skin-deep. Austin Moon may have had the body of a Greek god, but his soul was as black and empty as the inside of my closet. What a bastard!

With one swift motion I jumped to my feet and flung the contents of my glass in Austin's direction. Cherry Coke flew all over him, splattering his expensive-looking red leather jacket and white V-neck he was wearing. Drops of dark red liquid glistened on his cheeks and colored his bleach blonde hair. His face glowed with anger, and his chiseled jaw clinched fiercely.

"What was that for?" he snapped, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"What do you think it was for?" I bellowed, fists balled at my sides.

"Honestly, Duffy, I have no idea."

Angry flames blazed in my cheeks. "If you think I'm letting one of my friends leave this place with you, Austin, you're very, very wrong," I spat. "You're a disgusting, shallow, womanizing jackass, and I hope that soda ruins your stupid jacket." Just before I marched away, I looked over my shoulder and added, "And my name isn't Duffy. It's Ally. We've been in the same homeroom since middle school, you self-absorbed son of a bitch."

I never thought I'd be grateful that the damn techno played so loud. No one but Greg overheard the little episode, and he probably found the whole thing hysterical. I had to push my way through the crowded dance floor to find my friends. When I tracked them down, I grabbed Trish and Cassidy by their elbows and tugged them toward the exit.

"Hey!" Cassidy protested.

"What's wrong?" Trish asked.

"We're getting the hell out of here," I said, yanking their unwilling bodies along behind me. "I'll explain in the car. I just can't stand to be in this hellhole for one more second."

"Can't I say bye to Elliot first?" Cassidy whined, trying to loosen my grip on her arm.

"Cassidy!" I cricked my neck painfully when I twisted around to face her. "He's gay! You don't have a chance, so just give it up already. I need to get out of here. Please."

I pulled them out into the parking lot, where the icy January air tore at the bare flesh of our faces. Relenting Trish and Cassidy gathered close on either side of me. They must have found their outfits, which were intended to be sexy, were ill equipped to handle the coldness. We moved to my car in a huddle, separating only when we reached the front bumper. I clicked the unlock button on my key chain so that we could climb into my slightly warm car.

Trish curled up in the front seat and said, through chattering teeth, "Why are we leaving so early? Als, it's only, like, nine-fifteen."

"I got into an argument with someone," I explained, jabbing the key into the ignition with unnecessary force. "I threw my drink on him, and I didn't want to stick around for his response."

"Who?" Trish asked.

I'd been dreading that question because I knew the reaction I'd get. "Austin Moon."

Two swoony, girly sighs followed my answer.

"Oh, come on," I fumed. "The guy is a man-whore. I can't stand him. He sleeps with everything that moves, and his brain is located in his pants-which means it's microscopic."

"I doubt that," Trish said with another sigh. "Jeez Als, only you could find a flaw in Austin Moon."

I glared at her as I turned my head to back out of the parking lot. "He's a jerk."

"That's not true," Cassidy interjected. "Jenny said he talked to her at a party recently. She was with Kira and Piper, and she said he just came up and sat down beside her. He was really friendly."

That made sense. Jenny was definitely the Duff if she was out with Kira and Piper. I wondered which of them left with Austin that night.

"He's charming," Trish said. "You're just being cynical, as usual." She had a dreamy smile on her face as if she was daydreaming about the jackass. I took everything for me not to roll my eyes. "But what the hell did he do to get you to throw Coke at him?" Now she sounded concerned. Took her long enough. "Did he say something to you, Ally?"

No," I lied. "It's nothing. He just pisses me off."

Duff.

The word bounced around in my mind as I sped down 5th Street. I couldn't bring myself to tell my friends about the wonderful new insult that had just been added to my vocab list, but when I glanced at myself in the rearview mirror, Austin's assertion that I was the unattractive, undesirable tagalong (more like drag along) seemed to be confirmed. Cassidy's perfect hourglass figure and warm eyes. Trish's flawless complexion and confident demeanor. I couldn't compare to either of them.

"Well, I say we hit another party, since it's so early," Trish suggested. "I heard about this party that some college kids are having while home for Christmas break, it sounds fun. Piper told me about it this morning. Want to go?"

"Yeah!" Cassidy said from the backseat. "We should totally go! College parties have college boys. Won't that be fun, Ally?"

"As fun as a root canal" I said

"Oh, come on." Trish reached over and squeezed my arm. "No dancing this time, okay? And Cass and I promise to keep all hot guys away from you, since clearly you hate them." She smirked, trying to nudge me back into a good mood.

"I don't hate hot guys," I told her. "Just the one." After a moment, I sighed and turned onto the highway, heading for the county line. "Fine, we'll go. But you two are buying me a big jar of pickles after"

"Deal."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff

There are few things I love as much as peace and quiet on a Saturday night - or a very early Sunday morning. Other than my dad's muffled snoring the house was dead quiet as I snuck in a little pass one A.M. As I made my way through the living room, I noticed another postcard from my mom from Africa. I didn't even bother reading it, I was too tired and it probably said the same thing the last 12 did " _I miss you! I'll be home soon, Love you!_ I don't know what my mom's definition of 'soon' is but she hasn't been home in over a year and a half.

As I walked into my room and kicked of my shoes, my migraine finally started to subside. I pulled off my blouse and jeans next that wreaked of sweat and tossed in the hamper across the room. I argued with myself as to whether I should shower now or in the morning. I finally decided to do the latter. I was too exhausted.

Before crawling under the sanctuary that were my sheets, I took a glance at myself in the reflection of the full length mirror in my room. I saw myself with new eyes, with new knowledge. Uncontrollable brown hair, big ass, small boobs. Yep. Definitely Duff material. How could I have been so blind? I mean, I'd never considered myself particularly attractive, and it wasn't hard to see that Trish and Cassidy were gorgeous. The fact that I played the ugly girl in or little trio was now clear as day to me, all thanks to Austin. Sometimes it was better to be clueless.

I pulled a blanket up to my chin, hiding my naked body from the scrutiny of the mirror. Austin was living proof that beauty was only skin-deep, so why did his words bother me? I was intelligent. I was a good person. So who cared if I was the Duff? If I were attractive, I'd have to deal with guys like Austin hitting on me. Ugh! So being the Duff had its benefits, right? Being unattractive didn't have to suck. Damn Austin! I couldn't believe he was making me worry about such stupid, pointless, shallow crap.I closed my eyes. I wouldn't think about it in the morning. I wouldn't think about Duffs ever again.

Sunday was amazingly quiet, ever since Mom left things were usually pretty quiet at home. Before she left for her research project in Africa, the house always seemed loud. There was always laughter or music playing. I think my mom's daily playing of the piano or the violin was where my love of music began. But ever since she left a while ago everything grew still. Like me, my dad wasn't exactly a social butterfly. He was usually buried in his work or watching television. Which meant the Dawson household was pretty quiet for the most part.

Monday, however sucked. I usually loved school but today everything was going wrong. It all started first block when Cassidy slumped into Spanish with tear-stained cheeks and running mascara.

"Cassidy, what's wrong?" I asked. "Did something happen? Is everything okay?"

I'll admit it; I always got really freaked out on the rare occasions when Cassidy came to class looking anything less than a supermodel. I mean, she was constantly looking gorgeous. So when she came in looking so depressed, it scared me a little.

Cassidy shook her head miserably and collapsed into her seat. "Everything's fine, but… I can't go to Homecoming!" Fresh tears spewed from her wide bright eyes. "Mom won't let me go!" That was it? She'd gotten me all freaked out over Homecoming?

"Why not?" I asked, still trying to be sympathetic.

"I'm grounded," Cassidy sniffed. "She saw my report card in my room this morning, and she found out I'm failing chemistry, and she flipped out! It's not fair! Basketball Homecoming is, like, my favorite dance of the year… after prom and Sadie Hawkins and Football Homecoming."

I tilted my chin down and looked at her teasingly. "Wow, how many favorites do you have? "She didn't answer. Or laugh.

"I'm sorry, Cassidy. I know it must suck… but I'm not going either." I didn't mention that I wasn't going because I couldn't dance to save my life or that and no guy would ask in a million years. Cassidy already knew the reasons why, and I didn't think reminding her would help the situation. But I was pretty happy I wouldn't be the only girl skipping. "How about this: I'll come over, and we'll watch movies all night. Will your mom be cool with that?"

Cassidy nodded and wiped her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve. "Yeah," she said. "Mom likes you. She thinks you're a good influence on me. So that'll be okay. Thanks, Ally. Can we watch '27 dresses' again? Are you sick of it yet?"

Yes, I was getting very sick of the mushy romances Cassidy swooned over, but I could get over it. I grinned at her. "I never get tired of Katherine Heigl. We can even watch 'The Ugly Truth' if you want. It'll be a double feature."

She laughed-finally-just as the teacher made her way to the front of the room and began calling roll. Once that little crisis was behind us, Spanish went by smoothly. Cassidy's tears cleared up, and by the time the bell rang, she was laughing giddily while Kira, a friend of ours, told us about her new boyfriend. I found out that I got an A on my last test so I was in kind of a good mood.

"And he has a job on campus," Kira rambled as we pushed our way into the crowded hall.

"Where does he go to school?" I asked.

"Marino Community College." She sounded a little embarrassed, and she quickly added, "But he's just getting his associate's degree there before he goes to a university. And Marino Community college is a great school" she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than us

"That's where I'm going," Cassidy said. "I don't want to go too far from home."

Cassidy and I were such polar opposites, it was sort of funny sometimes. You could always predict what one of us was going to want to do just by picking the reverse of the other. Personally, I wanted a change of scene, get out of Miami as soon as possible. Graduation couldn't arrive soon enough, and then I'd be off to New York going to my dream school MUNY for college.

But the idea of being so far away from Cassidy and Trish I wasn't entirely sure how I'd handle it. They kind of balanced me out. I wasn't sure anyone else would be willing to put up with me being such and anti-social nerd once I left town.

"We should get to chemistry, Cass," Kira said as she shook her long black bangs from her eyes. "You know how Mr. Haynes gets when we show up late."

They scampered off to the science department, and I started down the hallway heading toward AP government. My mind drifted to other places, to a future without my best friends to keep me sane. I'd never considered that before, and now that I was thinking about it, it made me really nervous. I knew they'd tease me for it, but I would have to find a way to keep in constant touch.

I guess my eyes lost contact with my brain, because the next thing I knew, I ran smack into Austin Moon

That was the end of my good mood.

I stumbled backward, and all of my textbooks slipped from my arms and crashed to the floor. Austin grabbed me by both shoulders, his large hands catching me before I had the chance to trip over my own feet and slam into the tile.

"Whoa," he said, steadying me.

We were standing way too close to each other. I felt like I had bugs crawling under my skin, spreading from the places where his hands touched me. I shivered with disgust, but he misread it.

"Wow, Duffy," he said, looking down at me with a cocky grin. He was really tall-I'd forgotten that, sitting next to him at the Beat the other night. He was one of the tallest boys in our school at least six two. An entire foot taller than me. "Do I make you weak in the knees?"

I rolled my eyes as I knelt down and began to gather my books, and to my intense displeasure, Austin joined me. He was playing the Good Samaritan role, of course. I bet he was hoping some hot cheerleader would walk by and think he was being a gentleman. What a pig. Always looking to score.

"Spanish, huh?" he said, glancing down at the scattered papers as he grabbed them. "Can you say anything interesting?"

"El tono de tu voz hace que quiera estrangularme." I stood up and waited for him to hand over my papers.

"That sounds sexy," he said, getting to his feet and handing me the stack of Spanish work he'd swept together. "What's it mean?"

"The sound of your voice makes me want to strangle myself."

"Kinky."

Without another word, I jerked the papers from his hands, and stomped off to class. I needed to put as much distance between myself and the womanizing bastard as possible. Duffy? Seriously? He knew my name! The egotistical jackass just couldn't let me be. Not to mention my skin was still itching where he'd touched me.

I took my seat in Mr. Wallace's class still fuming. Class was just about to begin when the last student entered just as the bell rang. "Sorry, Mr. Wallace. I was putting up signs promoting next week's inauguration ceremony. You didn't start already, did you?" My heart skipped as I recognized the voice. Now I think I've made it clear that I don't really swoon over boys but Dallas was the one exception. I turned my head to see him standing there with his brown hair that flopped just the right way; he smelled like an ocean breeze.

Aside from him saying libary instead of library, he was perfect in every way. He wasn't a testosterone-loaded football player. He wasn't an overly sensitive guitar-playing hippie. He didn't write poetry or wear eyeliner. So he probably wouldn't have been classified as the typical hottie, but since I was as what Austin so delicately called me- the Duff. I probably had a better chance with intelligent, libary instead of library saying, somewhat socially awkward, Dallas. Right?

Wrong.

Dallas was my perfect match. Unfortunately, he wasn't aware of this fact. Every time I came close to him at school or the cellphone accessory cart at the mall I became a tongue tied and started to chew my hair. (A bad habit that I picked up ever since I was a kid. Trish keeps on swearing she'll put a dog cone on me someday). Dallas probably thought I was some hair chewing freak. He never looked at me or spoke more than two to me at a time

"It's fine" Mr. Wallace said breaking me out of my thoughts "Just try to be on time for now on"

"No problem, sir "Dallas said as he made his way to

Dallas took a seat in the front row next to Jenny Woods. I know it's wrong to ease drop but I couldn't help but listen in on their conversation while Mr. Wallace started writing notes on the board. "How was your weekend, Dallas?" Jenny asked through her always stuffed up nose. "Did you do anything exciting?"

"It was pretty good," Dallas said. "Dad took Emma and me out to visit some colleges. We toured the University of Florida together. That was fun."

"Is Emma your sister?" Jeanine asked.

"No. Emma's my girlfriend. She goes to Seaside High School. Didn't I tell you about her? Anyway, we both got accepted there, so we wanted to check it out. I'm looking at a few other schools, but we've been together for a year and a half, and we kind of want to attend the same school to avoid the long-distance issue."

"That's sweet!" Jenny cried. "I'm still not sure what university I'll go to."

My heart was breaking. Dallas had a girlfriend? For a year and a half? How had I missed that? And they were going to college together?

He wouldn't date you, anyway, a voice in my head hissed at me. It sounded uncannily like Austin's annoying voice. You're the Duff, remember? His girlfriend is probably thinner with bigger boobs.

It wasn't even lunch yet, and I already wanted to go home and retreat to the sanctuary that was my. I wanted to forget Dallas had a serious girlfriend. I wanted to wash the feeling of Austin's hands off me. Mostly, though, I wanted to erase the word Duff from my memory.

Oh, yeah, and things got worse that day, too.

Before everyone was dismissed for the day, the principal made an announcement that because of some chemical explosion this kid named Dez caused the school would be closed tomorrow. Both Trish and Cassidy insisted we go out to The Beat again tonight since we didn't have to worry about going to school tomorrow.

Now I'm sitting in my bedroom brainstorming ways I could get out of seeing a bunch of teens dance to migraine-inducing techno music. Trish was supposed to pick me up at seven and it was six-forty. I better think fast, I could say that I was coming down with something or that I had a lot of homework to do, No, they'd never buy it , Trish had an amazing BS meter. Maybe some fresh air could help me come up with some better lies.

I went downstairs and found my Dad using the cordless in the kitchen. I heard him before I saw him. He was yelling into the receiver. I stood in the doorway, assuming he'd notice me and immediately lower his voice. I figured it was another telemarketer or bill collector until my name came up.

"Think of what you're doing to Ally!" Dad's loud voice, which I'd taken for anger, sounded more like pleading. "This isn't good for a seventeen-year-old girl and her mother. She needs you here at home, Penny. We need you here."

I quietly walked back into the living room, surprised to realize he was talking to my mother. Truthfully, I didn't really know how to feel about it .My mom has been in Africa doing research for her new book for nearly 2 years now. As a kid my mom would always travel to do research for her latest book but she was never gone for more than a month or two. When she came back, from wherever she was she always gushed about all the places she'd seen and the people she'd met. The only thing different this time is that this has been the longest amount of time she's been gone for a research project. And I have feeling she finished her research a long time ago. Obviously that was why Dad was pissed. Because she'd been gone for so long.

"Damn it, Penny. When are you going to stop being a child and come home? When are you coming home to us… for good?" The way my dad's voice cracked when he uttered that sentence nearly had me in tears. "Penny," he murmured. "Penny, we love you. Ally and I miss you, and we want you to come home."

I pressed myself against the wall that separated me from Dad, biting my lip. I mean, why couldn't they just get a divorce already? Was I the only one who could see that things just weren't working out here? What was the point of being married if Mom was always gone?

"Penny," my father said, sounding like he was on the verge of crying. Then I heard him put the phone down on the counter. The talk was over.

I gave him a couple of minutes to collect himself before I walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Dad. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said, he was a worse liar than I was " everything is fine, Ally-cat. I just had a talk with your mom and… she sends her love."

I just nodded

I saw his eyes drift over to the counter, where he'd left his car keys, and I followed them. He noticed this and looked away quickly, before I could say anything. "Do you have plans tonight?" he asked.

"Well, I could make some, but…" I cleared my throat, uncertain of how to say my next sentence. Dad and I really didn't make a habit of talking to each other. "I could stay home, too. Do you want me to stay here and, like, watch TV with you or something?"

"Oh, no, sweetie ," he said with an unconvincing laugh. "Go have fun with your friends. I'll probably go to bed early tonight, anyway."

I looked him in the eye, hoping he'd change his mind. I knew how my dad could get after fights with Mom. I was worried about him, but I wasn't really sure how to approach the subject.

And in the back of my mind, there was this tiny fear. It was stupid, really, but I couldn't shake it. My father was a recovering alcoholic. I mean, he quit before I was born, and he hadn't touched a drop since… but sometimes, when he got all pouty about Mom, I got scared. Scared that he might take those car keys and head to the liquor store or something. Like I said, it was ridiculous, but the fear couldn't be vanquished.

Dad broke our eye contact and shifted uncomfortably. He turned and walked toward the sink, washing the plate he'd just eaten spaghetti off of. I wanted to walk over there and take the plate-his pathetic excuse to distract himself-and throw it on the ground. I wanted to tell him how stupid this whole thing was with Mom. I wanted him to realize what a waste of time these dumb depressions and fights were and just admit things weren't working out.

But, of course, I couldn't. All I could say was, "Dad…"

He faced me, shaking his head, a wet dishrag dangling from his hand. "Go out and have fun," he said. "Seriously, I want you to. You're only a kid once."

There was no arguing. That was his subtle way of telling me he wanted to be alone.

"Okay," I said. "If you're sure… I'll go call Trish."

I walked upstairs and into my bedroom. I picked my cell phone up off the dresser and dialed Trish's number. Two rings in, she answered.

"Hey, Trish I know you are picking me up 7 to got to the Beat , but do you think it would be okay if I stayed over tonight? I'll tell you about it later, but I… I just don't want to stay at home." She said sure and I hung up.

As I got ready to go out I couldn't help but feel that this terrible day was just the beginning of my worries.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the love everybody has given to this story. This chapter is shorter than the others were.**

 **Disclaimer I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff.**

"Pour me another one, Greg." I slid the empty glass toward the bartender, who caught it easily.

"I'm cutting you off, Ally."

I rolled my eyes. "It's just Cherry Coke."

"Which can be just as dangerous as whiskey." He put the glass on a counter behind the bar. "No more. You'll thank me later. Caffeine headaches are a bitch, and I know how you girls are. When you gain five pounds, you'll blame me."

"Whatever." So what if I gained weight? I was already the Duff, and the one guy I wanted to impress had a serious girlfriend. I could gain seventy pounds and be no worse off.

"Sorry, Ally." Greg moved to the other end of the bar, where Kira and her best friend, Piper, waited to order drinks.

I drummed my fingers on the wooden surface of the bar, my mind far away from the music and strobe lights. Why hadn't I insisted on staying home with Dad? Why hadn't I just made him talk to me? I kept imagining him, wallowing in his misery… alone.

But that's how us Dawsons handled stress. We just pushed it down and refused to talk about it

Why was that? Why couldn't either of us open up? Why couldn't Dad admit that he and Mom were having issues? Why couldn't I confront him about it?

"Hello, Duffy."

Why did that jackass have to sit next to me?

"Go away, Austin," I growled, staring down at my restless fingers.

"I can't," he said. "You see, Duffy, I'm not one to give up easily. I am determined to hook up with one of your friends-preferably the one with the fantastic rack."

"Then go talk to her," I suggested.

"I would, but Austin Moon doesn't chase girls. They chase him. It's like law" He grinned at me. "It's all right. She'll be over here begging me to sleep with her soon. Talking to you will just speed up the process. Until then, you get the honor of my company. Lucky for me, it doesn't look like you're armed with a beverage tonight." He laughed but stopped suddenly. I turned to look at him to see his eye laced with concern, his eyebrows were furrowed and his forehead was scrunched up as if he was trying to solve a math equation. I hate to admit it but I was slightly taken aback, he actually looked concerned about something more than him just getting laid. I felt like Alice through the Looking Glass seeing this new side of Austin.

"Are you all right? "He said breaking me out of my trance "You don't seem as aggressive as usual."

"Leave me alone, Austin. I'm serious." I said regaining my composure and my distaste for him

"What's wrong?"

"Go away."

"Ally…"

The anxiety inside me needed to escape, to be released in some way. I couldn't wait until Trish and I got back to her house to vent. I needed to let it out right then. But I didn't want to cry, not in front of half the school, and there was no way I was going to talk about it with Greg or the douche bag next to me, and punching someone would just get me in trouble. I couldn't see any other options, but I felt like I'd explode if I didn't let it out soon.

Mom was in Africa.

Dad was drowning.

I was too much of a coward to do a damn thing about it.

"There has to be something bothering you," Austin persisted his voice laced with worry. "You look like you might cry." He put a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn and face him. "Ally?"

Then I did a really messed-up thing. My only excuse is that I was under an unbelievable amount of stress, and I spotted an outlet. I needed something to distract me-anything far away from my parents' drama-just for a second. And when I saw my chance I didn't stop to think about how much I'd regret it later. An opportunity sat on the bar stool beside me, and I lunged at it. Literally.

I kissed Austin Moon.

One second his hand lay on my shoulder, and his hazel eyes rested, for once, on my face, and the next my mouth was on his. My lips were fierce with bottled emotion, and he seemed to tense, his body frozen in shock. That didn't last very long. An instant later, he returned the aggression, his hands flying to my sides and pulling me toward him. It felt like a battle between our mouths. My hands clawed into his platinum blonde hair, tugging it way harder than necessary, and his fingertips dug into my waist.

It worked better than punching someone would have. Not only did it help me release the agonizing pressure, but it definitely distracted me. I mean, it's hard to think about your dad when you're making out with somebody.

And as much as I hate myself for admitting this, Austin was a really good kisser. He leaned into me, and I tugged at him so hard that he nearly fell off his bar stool. In that moment, we just couldn't get close enough to each other. Our separate seats seemed like they were miles apart.

All of my thoughts vanished, and I became a sort of physical being. Emotions disappeared. Nothing existed but our bodies, and our warring lips were at the center of everything. It was bliss! It was amazing not to think.

Nothing! Nothing… until he screwed it up.

His hand slid up from my waist, trailing along my torso, and came to a stop right on my boob.

Everything flooded back, and I suddenly remembered exactly who I was kissing. I tore my hands out of his hair and shoved him away from me as hard as I could. His hands dropped, one landing on my knee, as he pulled away. He looked surprised but distinctly pleased.

"Wow, Duffy, that was-"

And I slapped him. I slapped him so hard, that it would put Susan Lucci to shame.

The hand on my knee flew to his cheek. "What the hell?" he demanded. "Why did you do that?"

"Jerk!" I yelled. I jumped off my stool and stormed outside. The tingling sensation refused to leave my lips.

I didn't want to admit it, but I was madder at myself than at him. Mad that I let my emotions get the best of me. Mad that I acted like one of those reckless teenagers that I looked down on. I was mad that I kissed Austin Moon and even more mad that I wanted to do it again.

 **Three chapters done! I would love to give this story a twist or two. I f anybody has any ideas I'm open to suggestions. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Trish's queen-size bed was incredibly warm. The pillows were leopard and zebra print, much like her attire. I felt like I could sink into the fluffy mattress and live there forever. But I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned on my side of the bed, trying not to wake Trish up. I tried everything to shut my mind off. I counted sheep. I got a glass of milk. I even imagined one of Mr. Wallace's boring lectures. But nothing worked I was still wide awake.

I was bottling up my feelings again, but it had nothing to do with Dad this time. I'd gotten that off my chest after Trish and I had dropped Cassidy off earlier that night.

"I'm getting worried about Dad," I'd told her. I'd waited until Cassidy was out of the car to talk about it. I knew she wouldn't have understood. Cassidy was from a happy, healthy two-parent family. Trish, on the other hand, had already seen her parents' relationship crumble firsthand. "He must be in denial. I mean, isn't it obvious that it isn't working? Shouldn't they just get the freaking divorce and be done with it?"

"Don't say that, Als," she warned. "Seriously, don't even think that way."

I shrugged.

"It'll all work out," she said, reaching over and squeezing my hand as we sped toward her house. I could see clouds moving across the stars in the dark sky overhead, it was probably going to storm. "She'll come home and they'll talk it through and have makeup sex-"

"Lalalala! Gross, Trish!"

"-and everything will be back to normal." She paused as I pulled into her driveway. "And in the meantime, I'm here for you. If you need to talk, you know I'll listen."

"Yeah, I know."

It was the same Trish Saves the Day speech I'd been hearing for twelve years, any time the slightest problem appeared in my life. Not that I needed it that night, really. Honestly, since we'd left the Beat, Dad hadn't been on my mind that much. I'd released all that stress when I'd kissed Austin.

And that was what kept me from sleeping. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd done at the Beat. My skin itched. My lips felt foreign. Plus, no matter how many times I'd brushed my teeth in Trish bathroom (after half an hour, she'd knocked on the door to make sure I was okay), the taste of disgusting, womanizing bastard was still in my mouth. Ugh! But the worst part was that I knew I had no one else to blame but myself.

I'd kissed him. Yeah, he'd groped me, but what had I really expected? Austin didn't exactly have a reputation for being a gentleman. He might have been a jackass, but I had to take the blame for this situation. That knowledge didn't sit well with me.

"Trish," I whispered. I felt bad for waking her up at three a.m. of me, but she was the one always telling me to share or vent or whatever. So, technically, she brought this on herself. "Hey, Trish?"

"Hmm?'

"Are you awake?"

"Mmm-mmm."

"If I tell you something, will you swear not to tell anyone?" I asked. "And will you promise not to freak out?"

"Sure, A," she mumbled. "What is it?"

"I kissed someone tonight," I said.

"Good for you. Now go back to sleep."

I took a deep breath. "It was Austin"

Trish shot straight up in bed. "Whoa!" She shook her head and rubbed the sleep from her wide dark brown eyes . "Austin, as in Austin Moon?"

I nodded a little embarrassed

"Okay, now I'm awake. OMG! What happened? I thought you hated the guy."

"I do hate him. I will always hate him. It was just a stupid, immature, thoughtless moment of… stupidity." I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest. "I feel dirty."

"Dirty can be fun."

"Trish."

"Sorry, A, but I don't see what the problem is," she admitted. "He's hot. His parent are the mattress king and queen, so you know he's loaded. He's probably a fantastic kisser. Is he? I mean, he has those lips that just make me think-"

"Trish!" I put my hands over my ears,my cheeks were turning a bright crimson "Stop! Look, I'm totally not proud of this. I was upset, he was there, and I just… Ugh, I can't believe I did that. Does this make me a slut?"

"Kissing Austin? Hardly."

"What do I do, Trish?"

"Kiss him again?" she said in a half joke half seriously

I shot her a cold look before falling back onto my pillow. I rolled over so that I faced away from her. "Forget it," I said. "I shouldn't have told you at all."

"Oh, Als, don't be like that," she said. "I'm sorry, but I think you should look on the bright side for once in your life. I mean, you haven't had a boyfriend since…" She trailed off. Both of us knew the name, after all. "Anyway, it's about time you started getting a little bit of action. You never talk to any guys but Greg, and he's way too old for you. And now that we know Dallas off the market, what's the problem if you date Austin? Would it kill you?"

"I am not dating him," I hissed. "Austin Moon doesn't date, he just screws anything with a pulse, I just kissed him, and it was so stupid… stupid, stupid, stupid! It was a huge mistake."

She nestled back into her side of the mattress. "You know, I knew this would happen, you and Austin amazing chemistry, I knew it was only a matter of time before you gave in to the sexual tension you two have."

"WHAT," I said, rolling back over to glare at her. "There is absolutely no sexual tension between me and that jackass. I find him repulsive, disgusting and-

"Dreamy?" Trish interrupted with an annoying smirk on her lips

"No"

"Then why'd you kiss him?"

"Tonight was just a lapse in judgment and it will never happen again."

"Never say never, Als."

She was snoring within seconds.

I grumbled to myself for a few minutes, then fell asleep, inwardly cursing both Trish and Austin. Strangely enough, that was comforting.

Dad had just gotten home from working at Sonic Boom, his own music store, when I walked through the door the next afternoon shaking my head like a dog trying out of my hair. Like I predicted it was a huge storm. It was just coming to an end though. The sun was already peeking through living room windows. I took off my jacket and glanced over at Dad, who was on the couch, browsing through the newspaper with a mug of hot coffee in his left hand.

He looked up when he heard me come in. "Hey, Ally-cat," he said, putting his mug down on the coffee table. "Did you have fun Trish and Cassidy?"

"Yeah," I said. "How was work?"

"Busy," he sighed. "Do you know how many people in this town got instruments for Christmas? I'm sure you don't, so I'll just tell you that a lot of them did. Do you know how many people didn't want instruments so they returned them and I had to give their money back?"

"A lot?" I guessed.

"Bingo"

Suddenly I felt like an idiot. How could I have gotten so worked up last night? Clearly it was over nothing. I mean, yeah, he and Mom were having issues, but it would probably blow over like Trish said. He wasn't depressed or sad or even remotely close to touching a drop of alcohol.

Still, I knew Mom's latest absence was hitting him kind of hard. So I figured I ought to try and make it easier on him. I knew he was probably feeling a little lonely lately, and I guess that was partially my fault too. I hung out with my Trish and Cassidy so often.

"Wanna watch TV?" I asked. "I don't have much homework due tomorrow, so I can wait and do it later."

"Sounds good," Dad said. flipping through the channels. ". Let's see… Oh, look. There's a Crime and Justice. You used to love this show. You and I used to watch it all the time"

"I remember." I settled onto the couch beside him. "I told you I wanted to be a lawyer, because I thought the main character was cute."

Dad snorted "You probably will marry a successful lawyer..

Nah. lawyer didn't marry Duffs. They probably knew they could do better. I could probably marry a bailiff I'm sure they didn't have high standards when it came to looks. I probably had a good shot with that bailiff from Judge Judy. Hey, he's kind of sexy... for a guy probably three times my age .Who knows? Maybe I had a shot.

My train of thought was interrupted by my Dad getting up to make popcorn. How was it that even watching Crime and Justice brought me back to that word?

Duff.

Damn, Austin and his damn pigeonholing just wouldn't leave me alone. The word was taunting me, even in my own home. I scooted closer to Dad, trying to focus on the show. On our time together. On anything but Austin and that stupid label. I tried to forget about that damn kiss and how idiotic I'd been.

Tried, tried, tried.

And, of course, failed miserably.


	5. Chapter 5

A lot of people wonder how Trish and I became best friends since we're such opposites. It all started years ago when I was just five

When I was in kindergarten, I had a traumatic monkey bars experience. I'd been halfway across, my legs swinging beneath me, when my arms just gave out and dropped me. What was probably only and three foot fall felt like me jumping of the Empire State building. All the other five-year-olds laughed at me and my scraped, bloody knee. All of them but one.

Trish De LeRosa walked out of the gawking group of grade-schoolers and came to stand in front of me. Even back then, I knew she was beautiful. Curly black locks, beautiful brown eyes, rosy cheeks… the epitome of five-year-old perfection. She could have been in pageants.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I said trying to save face, thick, hot tears were trailing down my face. I wasn't sure whether I was crying because of the pain in my knee or because of the laughing from my classmates.

"No, you're not. You're bleeding. Let me help." She reached out a hand and pulled me up. Then she turned and yelled at the kids who were making fun of me. Even at the tender age of five Trish was good at yelling.

After that, she basically appointed herself my personal caretaker, never letting me out of her sight, determined to keep me out of trouble. From that moment on, we were best friends.

Of course, that was before popularity and Duffs got involved. She wound up being one of the most gorgeous girls in High school. She looked like she could be related to Salma Hayek. I wound up looking like… well, the opposite. To see us separately, no one would ever think we were close. No one would guess the pretty Homecoming Queen was with the girl who could be related to Shrek.

But we were best friends. She'd been there for me through everything. She'd even stuck by me freshman year, after I'd had my heart broken for the first-and if I had anything to do with it, only-time. She never let me isolate myself or drown in my own misery. Despite the fact that she could easily find prettier, cooler, more popular friends, she stayed with me.

So when she asked me to drive her home after cheerleading practice on Wednesday afternoon, I agreed. I mean, after all she'd done for me over the past twelve years, the least I could do was give her a lift every now and then.

I waited in the cafeteria, writing in my songbook. I've always had a passion for songwriting I just never had the courage to perform any of my songs. Just as I was finishing a verse I felt a hand on my should and that skin-crawly thing happened, and I knew exactly who was behind me.

Great. Just great.

I jerked out from under Austin's hand and spun around to face him, gripping my pencil like a dart and aiming it right at his Adam's apple.

He didn't even flinch. His hazel eyes examined the pencil with intense curiosity and he said, "Interesting. Is this how you greet all the boys you like?"

"I don't like you."

"Does that mean you love me, then?"

I hated how arrogant and cocky he talked, as if he was Adonis himself. In fairness a lot of girls did find him sexy, but I found him disgusting

"It means that I hate you," I snapped. "And if you don't stay the away from me, I'll report you for sexual harassment."

"Good luck with that," Austin mused. He swiped the pencil from me and began twirling it between his fingers. "Especially considering you're the one who kissed me. Technically, I could report you for harassment."

I held back vomit, still hating to even think about what I considered my personal low. I resisted the urge to remind him that he was more than willing to participate. "Give me back my pencil," I said through gritted teeth.

"I don't know," he said tapping the pencil on his chin as if he was thinking. "This could be classified as a dangerous weapon in your hands along with glasses of soda. Interesting choice, by the way. I'd always pegged you for more of an Ice-tea girl. You know… plain."

I just glared at him, hoping he would spontaneously combust before I grabbed my songbook off the table. He dodged my attempt to stomp on his foot and stared after me as I marched down the hallway. I was halfway to the gym, where Trish, the cheerleading captain, should have been wrapping up practice, when he caught up with me.

"Oh, come on, Duffy. That was just a joke. Lighten up."

"It wasn't funny."

"Your sense of humor needs some work, then," Austin suggested. "Most girls find my jokes charming."

"Those girls must have IQs low enough to trip over."

He laughed.

Apparently, I was the funny one.

"Hey, you never told me why you were upset the other night," he said. "You were too busy shoving your tongue down my throat. So what was the problem?"

"None of your-" I began, but I stopped suddenly. "Hey! I didn't… there was no tongue!" A shiver of rage ran through me as I noticed his mischievous smile. "You jackass! Get the out of here. Ugh, why are you stalking me? I thought Austin Moon didn't chase girls. I thought they chased him, right?"

"You're right. Austin Moon doesn't chase girls, and I'm not chasing you," he said. "I'm here waiting for my sister. She's making up a test for Mrs. Castelli. I just saw you in the cafeteria and thought-"

"What? Thought you'd torture me a little more?" I clenched my fists. "Leave me the hell alone. You've already made me miserable."

"How have I done that?" he asked, sounding a little surprised.

I didn't answer. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that Duff' was plaguing me because of him. He'd enjoy it too much.

Instead, I took off running to the gym doors as fast as I could. This time he didn't follow me-. I hurried into the blue-and-orange gymnasium and took a seat on the closest bleacher.

"Great practice, girls!" Trish cried from the other side of the gym. "Okay, the next basketball game is Friday. I want you all to practice the dance, and Piper, work on those high kicks. All right?"

The beauty squad just nodded in approval.

"Awesome," said Trish. "See you later, guys. Go Manatees!"

"Go Manatees!" the other cheerleaders echoed as they separated. Most of the girls hurried to the locker room, but a few headed for the doors, chatting excitedly with their friends.

Trish skipped over to me. "Hey, Als," she said. "Sorry we went a little overtime. Do you mind if I change before we get out of here? I feel a little stinky."

"I don't care," I murmured.

"What's wrong?" she asked, instantly suspicious.

"Nothing, just go change."

"Ally I can tell-"

"I don't want to talk about it." I wasn't about to get into another Austin discussion with her. She'd probably wind up defending him like last time. "I'm fine, okay?" I said, softening my voice. "Long day. Headache."

Trish still looked skeptical but she seemed to let it go as she walked away, I couldn't help but notice how she moved with considerably less pep, to the locker room.

Great. I felt like the worst person ever. She'd only wanted to make sure I was okay, and I shut her out. I shouldn't have taken my anger at Austin out on her, even if she did think he was Greek God

But when she came out of the locker room, her usual cheer had returned. She swung her purse over her shoulder and came to where I was sitting, a smile plastered across her spotless, smooth face. "You ready to go, Als?"

"Sure." I picked up my books and started toward the gym doors, hoping that Austin wasn't still lurking in the hallway.

I wondered if Trish noticed my anxiety if she had she didn't say anything. Instead, she said, "So, Piper is totally going to get a reputation as a whore."

"I think she already does"

"Well, yeah," Trish admitted, "but it's about to get worse. Apparently she is going to the dance with two different guys and they don't about each other. I don't know why she does this stuff to herself. You, Cass, and I will have a front-row seat for the drama when it all comes out that night. What are you wearing to the dance, anyway?"

"Nothing."

"Well, I'm sure that will be a crowd-pleaser with boys I don't think the school will let you in naked, Als." We were walking through the maze of tables in the cafeteria on our way to the parking lot.

"No. I mean, Cassidy and I aren't going to Homecoming," I said.

"Why not?" Trish asked confused.

"Cassidy is grounded. I promised her I'd come over and we'd watch girly movies."

Trish looked stunned as we pushed through the aqua blue doors and entered the student parking lot. "What? But Cass loves Basketball Homecoming. It's her favorite after prom and Football Homecoming."

"I know" I said as I marveled at how well we knew our mutual friend

"Why didn't I know about this? Homecoming is getting close. Why didn't you all tell me?"

I shrugged. "Sorry. I guess I just forgot I've had a lot on my mind lately. And I guess Cassidy is still bummed about the whole thing. She might not want to talk about not being able to go."

"But… but who will I go to the dance with now?"

"Um, a boy," I suggested with a hint of sarcasm. "Trish, there are boys banging down your door to get a date with you." I fished the car keys out of my back pocket and unlocked the doors of my car.

"Yeah right, who the hell wants to go with a smurf?"

"You are not a smurf."

"Besides," she said, ignoring me, it's not going to be the same without you." She climbed into the passenger's seat reclining the seat back. She wiggled around trying to get comfortable. "Damn it, Als. You really need to get a new car this seat is killing back"

"You really need to get your own car."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, so back to the dance. If you two aren't going I'm not going either I'll join your little movie fest. It could be a Girls' Night In. We haven't had one of those in a while."

Despite my bad mood, I couldn't contain the smile on my face. Trish was right. We hadn't had a movie night together in a long time, and it would be nice to hang out without the drama of boys or loud techno music. For once, I might actually have fun on a Friday night. So I reached for the volume on my stereo and said, "A week from Friday, it's a date."

When the Friday of our Girls' Night In finally rolled around, I was more than ready for a nice, relaxing evening with my best friends-and the rom-com queen Katherine Heigl, of course. I shoved the copies of 27 dresses and The Ugly truth, a pair of raggedy used pajamas and my toothbrush into my backpack. Trish was bringing the popcorn, and Cassidy promised us big bowls of ice cream.

But naturally, the day couldn't be all good. Mrs. Gibson my English teacher, made sure of that during fourth block.

"So, that's The Scarlet Letter," she said, closing her book. "Did you enjoy it, class?"

"Mrs. Gibson either didn't notice the grumble of negativity and boredom or just chose to ignore it. I think the latter

"Well, because Hawthorne's work is so extraordinary and applicable to contemporary society, I want each of you to write a report pertaining to the novel." She ignored the loud sighs. "The report can be about any part of the book-a character, a scene, a theme-but I want it to be very well thought out. I will also be allowing you to work in pairs"-the class buzzed with excitement-"which I will assign." The excitement vanished.

I knew I was in trouble when Mrs. Gibson pulled out her roll sheet. That meant she would be assigning partners based on alphabetical order. Believe it or not no kids in our English class had names from E-L so I knew my partner was bound to be-

"Ally Dawson will work with Austin Moon."

Crap.

I'd managed to steer clear of Austin for a week and a half-since the day he'd harassed me after school-but Mrs. Gibson had to screw that up.

She rattled off the last few names on her list before saying, "I expect the reports to be no fewer than five pages long-and that's twelve-point font, double-spaced, and I want partners to work together. Both must contribute to the report. And be creative, people! Have fun!"

"Not likely," I muttered to Cassidy, who sat at the desk next to mine.

"Oh, I think you're lucky, Ally," she said. "I'd be thrilled if Austin was my partner. But my heart belongs to Elliot. It is so unfair that Trish gets to work with him-"

I began to tune her out

"The reports are due in exactly one week!" Mrs. Gibson announced over the chatter. "So, please work on them this weekend."

"This is bullshit," Trish as we exited the class hissed. "An essay over nothing? I don't want to pick a topic. That's her freaking job! What is the point of this damn assignment if she can't even give us something to write about? It's ridiculous."

"But you get to work with Elliot, and-"

"Please, Cass, don't start with that crap." Trish rolled her eyes. "He. Is. Gay. It isn't going to happen, okay?"

"You never know! So you won't play wing girl for me?"

"I'll meet you guys in the cafeteria," I said, turning in the direction of my locker. "I need to grab a few things first."

I pushed my way past the loud jocks, the nerd and the over hormonal smooching couples, and headed for my locker. It took only a few minutes to get to my locker, I spun my combination and yanked open the door I just grabbed my coat and backpack and was about to close the door when he showed up. Honestly, I'd expected him sooner.

"Looks like we're partners, Duffy."

. "Unfortunately, yes."

Austin grinned, running his fingers through his blonde locks as he leaned against the locker next to mine. "So, your place or mine?"

"What?"

"To do the assignment this weekend," he said, narrowing his eyes. "Don't be getting any ideas, Duffy. I'm not chasing you. I'm just being a good student." This was true Austin was one of the best students in school, He only got As and Bs in class, his grade point was almost as good as mine. Almost.

"Austin Moon doesn't chase girls. They-"

"Chase you. Yeah, I know." I interrupted with a roll of my eyes. "If we have to do this, I was thinking we'd-"

"Austin!" A skinny red-head that I didn't recognize (she looked like a freshman) threw herself at him right in front of me. She stared up at Austin with big googly eyes. "Will you dance with me at Homecoming tonight?"

"Of course, Ashley" he said, running his hand down her back. He was tall enough to look down her shirt without any problem. Perverted bastard. "I'll save a dance just for you, okay?"

"Really?"

"Would I lie?"

"Oh, thanks, Austin!" He bent down, and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before scampering off, not looking at me once.

Austin turned his attention back to me. "You were saying?"

"I was thinking that we'd meet at my place." I growled

What's wrong with my house?" he asked. "Are you afraid it's haunted, Duffy?"

"Of course not. I'd just prefer to work at my house. Who knows what kind of diseases I could get just by stepping foot in your bedroom." I shook my head. "So, my house, okay? Tomorrow afternoon at, like, three. Call before you show up."

I didn't give him a chance to respond. If he had a problem with it, I'd write the paper myself. I walked off making my way toward the cafeteria. I found Trish and Cassidy waiting for me by the old vending machines.

"I don't get it, Trish," Cassidy was saying. "Don't you have to stay and cheer at the game?"

"Nope. I told the girls that I couldn't make it tonight, so one of our alternates, this cute little freshman, is taking my place. She's been wanting to cheer all year, and she's got skills, but there just hasn't been a place for her until now. They'll be fine without me."

I was standing right next to them before Cassidy spotted me. "There's Ally! Let's get the heck out of here! Woohoo! Girls' Night In!"

Trish rolled her eyes.

Cassidy pushed open the blue door that led to the parking lot, smiling from ear to ear, and said, "You guys are the best. Like, really the best. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Cry into your pillow every night and drown in your own tears," Trish said.

"I can't believe you weren't nominated for Homecoming Queen this time, Trish," Cassdy said from the backseat of my car as I drove to her house. "I was sure you would be."

"Nah. I got voted queen at Football Homecoming. There's a rule about people winning more than once in the same year. I wasn't eligible to be nominated this time. It's going to be Piper or Kira for sure."

"Do you think they'll fight if one of them wins?" Cassidy sounded worried.

"Doubt it," Trish said. "Piper couldn't care less about that kind of shit. Kira is the competitive one, I was looking forward to seeing the drama tonight, though. Did I tell you that Piper is thinking of meeting up with Austin Moon, too?"

"No!" Cassidy and I cried in unison.

"Yep," Trish said, nodding. "I guess she's really trying to make her boyfriend jealous or something. She's telling everyone she has the hots for Austin. She claims they fooled around after a party recently-I guess her boyfriend doesn't know about that yet-and she's thinking of doing it again. She said it was amazing."

"He slept with her?" Cassidy gasped.

"He sleeps with everyone," I said, turning the car onto 5th Street.

, "He might be a player, but he's pretty damn sexy. Even you have to admit that, Als. I bet he's awesome in bed. I mean, you made out with him. Was he amazing? Can you really blame Piper for wanting to hook up with him?"

"You made out with Austin?" Cassidy croaked, choking on her own excitement. "What? When? Why didn't you tell me?"

I shot a glare at Trish.

"She's embarrassed, which is dumb because I bet she had a blast kissing him."

"I did not have a blast," I said.

"Was he a good kisser?" Cassidy asked. "Tell me, tell me, tell me! I really want to know."

"Yes, if you must know, he was. But that doesn't make it any less disgusting."

"But," Trish interjected, "with your experience, answer my last question. Can you really blame Piper for wanting to hook up with him?"

"I don't have to." I switched on my turn signal. "She'll blame herself when she gets a disease… or when her boyfriend finds out about it. Whichever comes first."

"And this is exactly why I wanted to go to the dance," Trish sighed. "We could have witnessed it all firsthand… like our own episode of Gossip Girl. Piper's boyfriend would be getting pissed and plotting revenge as his unfaithful girlfriend screws the hottest guy in school, and Ally, hiding her secret love for Austin, would mope and pretend to hate him while silently pining for his super-sexy-hot kiss again."

My jaw dropped open. "I would not be pining for anything of the sort!"

"Oh well," Trish sighed. "I'm sure we'll hear all about the drama on Monday."

"Or tomorrow if the story is good enough," Cassidy said. I can't believe I'm missing my last Homecoming."

I finally turned onto Cassidy's street

"Woohoo!" Cassidy jumped out of the backseat and practically danced up to her front porch. She pushed open the door, and Trish and I followed her inside, shaking our heads with amusement.

"What time will your parents get here, Cassidy?" I asked as I slipped my jacket off getting comfortable

"A little after six." She was waiting for us at the foot of the stairs, ready to run up to her bedroom as soon as we joined her. "Dad started seeing a new patient today, though, so he might be a little late."

Her dad was a therapist. More than once, Trish had threatened to ask him if he'd take me as a patient for free. See if he'd help work out my "issues".

"Hurry, hurry! Are you guys ready or what?"

"Let's get this party started!" Trish whooped, running past Cassidy up the stairs.

Cassidy giggled as she tried to catch up with Trish, but I lagged behind, following them up the stairs at a regular walking pace. Once I reached the landing, I could hear my friends laughing and talking in the bedroom at the end of the hall, but I didn't follow their voices. Something else caught my attention first.

The door to the first bedroom, the one on the left, was wide open. My brain told me to walk right past, but my feet weren't listening. I stood in the open doorway, willing my eyes to look away. My body just didn't want to cooperate.

Perfectly made bed with the battered, navy blue comforter. Superhero posters covering every inch of wall. Black light over the headboard. The room was almost exactly the way I'd remembered it, only there were no dirty clothes on the floor. The open closet looked empty, and the calendar that used to hang over the computer desk, had been taken down. But the room still seemed warm, as if he were still there. As if I were still fourteen.

" _Jack, I don't understand. Who was that girl?"_

" _No one. Don't worry about it. She doesn't mean anything to me."_

" _But…"_

" _Shh… It's not a big deal."_

" _I love you, Jack. Don't lie to me, okay?"_

" _I wouldn't."_

" _Promise?"_

"Of course. Do you really think I'd hurt you, Bi-"

"Ally! Where the hell did you go?"

Trish's voice made me jump. Quickly, I stepped out of the bedroom and shut the door, knowing that I couldn't walk past it every time I needed to go to the bathroom that night. "Coming!" I managed to keep my voice normal. "Geez! Be patient for once in your life."

Then, with a forced smile, I went to watch a movie with my friends.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm back! I'm sorry I haven' updated in a while but I've been kind of busy. Waning it get a little steamy at the end, nothing too graphic or worth being rated M but I just wanted to give you guys a heads up.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Duff or Austin and Ally (I can dream though)**

I got home at around one-thirty the next afternoon. I was still recovering from the sleepover-where ironically no one got any sleep I could barely keep my eyes open as fumbled with my keys to unlock the door. The sight of my house looking like a tornado ripped through it woke me right up, though. Broken glass scattered on the living room floor, the coffee table was upside down, like it'd been kicked over, and-it took me a minute to register that beer bottles were scattered around the room. For a second I stood frozen in the door, worried that there'd been a burglary. Then I heard my Dad's heavy snoring from his bedroom down the hall, and I knew the truth was worse.

Glass, which I figured out had come from several broken picture frames, crunched under the soles of my sneakers as I made my way to the kitchen to get a trash bag so I could clean up this mess.

I felt an out of body experience as I made my way through the house almost like I was watching myself clean up this whole mess. I don't know why I wasn't freaking out. I mean, Dad had been sober for almost eighteen years, and the beer bottles made it crystal clear that his long run of sobriety was over. What could have been bad enough to knock him off that wagon after so long?

I found the answer on the kitchen table, neatly masked by a manila envelope.

"Divorce papers," I muttered as I examined the contents of the opened package. "What the hell?" I stared down at my mother's signature in shock. I mean, yeah, I'd kind of seen the end coming-when your mom vanishes for more than two months, you just get that feeling-but now? Really? She hadn't even called to warn me! Or Dad. "Damn it," I whispered, my fingers shaking. Dad hadn't seen this coming. I hadn't seen this coming! no wonder he was back to drinking. How could Mom do this to him? To me? To us.

I can't believe this. I can't believe _her!_

I tossed the envelope aside and went to the cabinet where we kept the cleaning supplies, trying to keep the tear that were stinging my eyes from coming down, but I knew I was fighting a losing battle. I grabbed a garbage bag and headed into the demolished living room.

It hit me all at once, causing a lump to rise in my throat as I reached for one of the empty beer bottles.

Mom wasn't coming home. Dad was drinking again. And I was literally picking up the pieces. I gathered the largest shards of glass and the empty bottles and tossed them into the bag, trying not to think about my mom. Trying not to think about how happy she probably was without us. Trying not to think about the perfect signature she'd used on those divorce papers Trying not to think about how she is out living her dreams while I have to clean up the mess she left.

I was angry at her. Angry wasn't the right word, I felt a deep hot fire in my chest just dying to break free. How could she do this? How could she just send divorce papers? Without coming home or warning us. Didn't she know what it would do to Dad? And she hadn't even thought of me. Let alone called to prepare me for this.

I decided in that moment that I hated my mother. Hated her for always being gone. Hated her for shocking us with those papers. Hated her for hurting Dad.

As I carried the trash bag full of destroyed picture frames into the kitchen, I wondered if Dad had managed to break those memories-the ones of him and Mom that the photos had captured. Probably not. That's why he'd needed the alcohol. When even that hadn't erased my mother's face from his mind, he must have thrashed around the room like a drunken madman.

I'd never seen my father drunk, but I knew why he'd quit. I'd overheard him and Mom talking about it a few times when I was little. Apparently Dad had a bad temper when he was drinked. So bad that Mom had gotten scared and begged him to quit. Which I guess explained the overturned coffee table.

But the idea of my father drunk… it just didn't compute. I mean, I couldn't even imagine him using a swear word more offensive than damn. But a bad temper? I couldn't picture it.

I kept telling myself not to cry as I sat the coffee table back up and vacuumed the smaller pieces of glass out of the carpet. I couldn't cry. If I'd cried, it wouldn't have had anything to do with the fact that my parents were getting divorced. That wasn't a shocker. It wouldn't have had anything to do with missing my mother. She'd been gone too long for that. I wouldn't even have been mourning for the family I'd once had. I was happy with the way life was, just me and Dad. No. If I had cried, it would have been out of anger, out of fear, or something else entirely selfish. I would have been crying because of what it meant for me. I had to be the adult now. I had to take care of Dad. I couldn't be free to live m life, go to MUNY and start a career in music but at that moment, my mother, living her dreams in Africa, was acting selfishly enough for the both of us, so I had to put the tears aside.

I'd just rolled the vacuum back into the laundry room when my phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I said into the phone

"Good afternoon, Duffy."

Crap. I'd forgotten about working with Austin on that stupid project. Of all the people to see that day, why did it have to be him? Why did this day have to get worse?

"It's almost three," he said. "I'm getting ready to drive over to your place. You're always on me about being more considerate so I thought I'd call l before I leave… Isn't that thoughtful of me?."

"You don't even know what that means." I glanced down the hall in the direction of my father's snores. The living room, while no longer a death trap, still looked rough, and there was no telling what kind of mood Dad would be in when he woke up. I just knew it probably wouldn't be a good one. I didn't even know what I would say to him. "Look, on second thought, I'll come to your house. I'll see you in twenty minutes."

I don't know if where Austin lived could technically be called a mansion, but the house was three stories tall and had two balconies. Balconies! My dropped as I gazed at the place. I knew Austin's parents were the owner of the biggest mattress store in Miami but I never thought they were his rich. I mean two freaking balconies!

Austin met me at the front door, an annoyingly confident grin on his face. He leaned against the door frame, arms folded across his broad chest. He was wearing jeans and a dark blue plaid shirt and of course he'd left the top few buttons undone. "Hello, Duffy."

Did he know how much that name bothered me? I glanced at the driveway, which was empty except for my lemon of a car parked pathetically next to his Porsche. "Where are your parents?" I asked.

"Gone," he replied with a wink. "Looks like it's just you and me."

"Oh joy" I muttered loud enough for him to hear me as I pushed past him and walked inside. I rolled my eyes in disgust as I stepped into the large foyer, these people were so rich it actually made me a little sick Once my shoes were positioned neatly in the corner, I turned to Austin, who was watching me with interest. "Let's get this over with."

"Don't you want me to give you a tour?"

"Not really."

Austin shrugged. "Your loss. Follow me." He led the way into the enormous living room, which was probably as big as our cafeteria. Two large pillars held up the ceiling, and three beige couches, along with two matching love seats, were arranged around the room. On one wall I saw a huge flat-screen TV, and on another I found a giant fireplace. January sun spilled in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, lighting the space with a natural, happy feeling. But Austin turned and started walking up the stairs, away from the comforting room.

"Where are you going?" I demanded.

He looked over his shoulder at me with an exasperated sigh. "Umm my room, of course." He said as if I was an idiot

"Why can't we write the paper down here?" I asked.

"We could, Duffy, but the writing will go much faster if I'm typing, and my computer's upstairs. You're the one who said you wanted to get this over with."

I groaned and stomped up the stairs. "Whatever."

Austin's bedroom was on the top floor-one of the rooms with a balcony-and it was bigger than my living room. His king-size bed hadn't been made yet, video game cases were scattered on the floor beside, an electric blue guitar was leaned against one side of the wall, and at the center f the room of course was a huge flat screen. Surprisingly, the room smelled nice. It was a mixture of Austin's cologne and recently washed clothes, like he'd just put laundry away or something. He had a shelf stacked with music from cd to records his taste in music ranged from Michael Jackson to 50 Cent to Taylor Swift .I had to give him credit he had good taste in music.

As Austin shuffled through his book bag. I went over to his shelf of music noticing that he also had music from the Beatles and Stevie Wonder too. Wow he had a really eclectic music collection

" Are you a big music fan?"

I turn to see him Austin sitting on his bed finally having found his own copy of The Scarlet Letter from his bag.

" Ummm. Yeah I guess you could say that" I said a little embarrassed that he caught me admiring his music collection

He gestured for me to join him, and I did, reluctantly. "Okay," he said, thumbing absently through his hardcover book. "What should we write the paper on? Any ideas?"

"I don't-"

"I was thinking we could do an analysis of Hester," he suggested. "It sounds cliché, but I mean an in-depth characterization. Mainly, why did she have the affair? Why did she sleep with Dimmesdale? Did she love him, or was she just promiscuous?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my gosh, I should have figured you would go for the simplest answer? Hester is way more complicated than that. Neither of those choices shows any imagination."

Austin looked at me with one raised eyebrow. "All right," he said slowly. "If you're so smart, then why did she do it? Enlighten me."

"For distraction."

Okay, so maybe it was a little far-fetched, but I just kept seeing that damn manila envelope. Thinking of my selfish mother. I kept wondering what my father was like drunk for the first time in eighteen years. My mind searched for anything-anything- that would distract me from the painful thoughts, so would it be too ridiculous to think that Hester felt the same way? She was lonely, surrounded by hypocritical Puritans, and married to a completely creepy, absentee English guy.

"She just wanted something to get her mind off the crap that as going on in her life," I mumbled. "Some way to escape…"

"If that's the case, that didn't go well for her. It all backfired in the end."

I didn't really hear him. My mind was rushing back to a night not long ago, a night when I'd found a way to push my worries out of my head. I remembered the way my thoughts had gone silent, letting my body take over. I remembered the bliss of nothingness. I remembered how, even after it ended, I'd been so focused on what I'd done that my other worries barely existed.

"… so I guess that idea could make sense. It's definitely a different angle, and Perkins likes creativity. We might get an A." Austin turned to look at me, and his expression grew suddenly concerned. "Duffy, are you okay? You're staring off into space."

"Don't call me Duffy."

"Fine. Are you okay, Al-?"

Before he could say my name, I closed the space between us. Quickly, my lips moved against his. The mental and emotional emptiness took over instantly, but physically, I was more alert than ever. Austin's surprise didn't last as long as it had before, and his hands were on me in seconds. My fingers tangled in his soft hair, and Austin's tongue traced my lips begging for access. I more than happily parted my lips and his tongue darted into my mouth and became a new weapon in our war.

Once again, my body took complete control of everything. Nothing existed at the corners of my mind; no irritating thoughts harassed me. Even the sounds of Austin's stereo, which had been playing some piano rock I didn't recognize, faded away as my sense of touch heightened.

I was fully conscious of Austin hand as it slid up my torso and moved to cup my breast. With an effort, I pushed him away from me. His eyes were wide almost as if he was scared. "Please don't slap me again," he said.

"Shut up."

I could have stopped there. I could have stood up and left the room. I could have let that kiss be the end of it. But I didn't. The mind-numbing sensation I got from kissing him was so such a high that I couldn't stand to give it up that fast. I might have hated Austin, but he held the key to my escape, and at that moment I wanted him… I needed him.

Without speaking, without hesitating, I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it onto Austin's bedroom floor. He didn't have a chance to say anything before I put my hands on his shoulders and shoved him onto his back. A second later, I was straddling him and we were kissing again. His fingers undid the clasp on my bra, and it joined my shirt on the floor.

I didn't care. I didn't feel self-conscious or shy. I mean, he already knew I was the Duff, and it wasn't like I had to impress him.

I unbuttoned his shirt as he ran his fingers through my hair. Trish was right Austin did have a great body. The skin pulled tight over his sculpted chest, and my hands drifted down his muscular arms with amazement.

His lips moved to my neck, giving me a moment to breathe. I could only smell his cologne this close to him. As his mouth traveled down my shoulder, a thought pushed through the exhilaration. I wondered why he hadn't shoved me-Duffy-away in disgust.

Then again, I realized, Austin wasn't known for rejecting girls. And I was the one who should have been disgusted.

But his mouth pressed into mine again, and that tiny, fleeting thought died. Acting on instinct, I pulled on Austin's lower lip with my teeth, and he moaned quietly. His hands moved over my ribs, sending chills up my spine. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss.

Only once, as Austin flipped me onto my back, did I seriously consider stopping. He looked down at me, and his skilled hand grasped the zipper on my pant. My dormant brain stirred, and I asked myself if things had gone too far. I thought about pushing him away, ending it right where we were. But why would I stop now? What did I stand to lose? Yet what could I possibly gain? How would I feel about this in an hour… or sooner?

Before I could come up with any answers, Austin had my jeans and underwear off. He looks at me, his hazel eye meeting my chocolate ones

"Ally, are you sure about this?"

I can only nod. " I want this"

I guess that's all he needed because next thing I know then his pants were on the floor, his lips were back on me and we were having sex, and my thoughts were muted again.

 **So I hope you liked it. I'm sorry if it was too steamy or not steamy enough for you at the end . Now I don't really go into detail of what they did for two reasons 1. I am following the book and the book was never too graphic with what the characters did and 2. I've never really written anything like that before and I would probably screw it up. Now if that made you uncomfortable or upset I suggest you stop reading now because there will be more hookups like that for Austin and Ally in the future. Also for a future chapter I want to write about Austin and Ally singing along to a song on the radio so please give me some suggestions! I would prefer that the song wasn't from the show Austin and Ally (I don't like the idea of someone else singing an Austin and ally song other than Austin or Ally) Please review! And only constructive things nothing mean or nasty please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

I was only fourteen when I lost my virginity to Jack Henderson. He'd just turned eighteen, and I knew perfectly well that he was too old for me. Still, as a freshman in high school, I just wanted a boyfriend. I wanted to be liked and to fit in, and Jack was a senior with a car. At the time, I thought of that as perfection.

In the three months we were together, Jack never took me out on a real date. Once or twice, we made out in the back of a dark movie theater, but we never went out to dinner or bowling or anything like that. We spent most of our time sneaking around so that our parents and his sister, who later became one of my best friends, wouldn't find out about us. I actually found that part, the secrecy, fun and romantic. It was like a forbidden romance-like Romeo and Juliet, which was one of my favorite stories. I always wanted a relationship like Romeo and Juliet, now looking back I kind of think was dumb to want to be like a couple who died in the end.

We slept together a handful of times, and while I really didn't enjoy the actual sex, the sensation of closeness, of connection, felt comforting to me. When Jack touched me like that, I knew he loved me. I knew sex was a beautiful, passionate thing, and it was right to be with him.

Sleeping with Austin was different to say the least. While I definitely got more physical pleasure out of it, the closeness and the love were missing. When it was over, I felt dirty. I felt like I'd done something wrong and shameful, but at the same time, I felt good. Alive. Free. Wild. My mind was totally cleared, like someone had hit the refresh button. I knew the feeling wouldn't last forever, but the filthy regret was worth the momentary escape.

"Wow," Austin said. We were lying in his bed only a few minutes after we'd finished, both of us panting with a light coat of sweat on our bodies. "I definitely wasn't expecting that."

Ugh, why did he have to talk he was really ruining the peace I was getting from this. Annoyed, and still riding this emotional rollercoaster, I sneered. "What? Ashamed that you slept with the Duff?"

"No." I was surprised by how serious he sounded. He turns his head to look at me, he had that concerned look in his eye again. "I don't regret anything that just happened in the pass twenty minutes. Do you?" I couldn't help but hear the nervousness that crept into his voice as if he was really worried that I regretted what we did. He sounded so vulnerable, it made him almost likeable.

"No, I don't regret anything" I answer honestly, Austin might have been one of the biggest slimeballs I knew but I would take back what we just did in a million year, I'm not sure why though

"Good" he says I can't help but notice how his face relaxes and how he now has a lazy smile on his face. He actually looks kind of cute when he's not wearing that stupid smirk. Oh my gosh what am I thinking. "I was honestly starting to believe that you hated me." He says

"I do hate you," I assured him, kicking off the covers and moving to pick up my clothes.

"You must not hate me too much," Austin said, rolling onto his elbow and watching me dress. "You did pretty much throw yourself at me. Generally, hatred doesn't inspire that kind of passion."

I pulled on my shirt. "Believe me, Austin, I definitely hate you. I was just using you. You use people all the time, so I'm sure you understand." I buttoned my jeans "This was fun, but if you ever tell anyone, I swear I'll kill you. Are we clear?"

"Why?" he asked. "Your reputation could only improve if people found out you slept with me."

"That might be true," I admitted. "But I have no desire to improve my reputation, especially not that way. So are you going to keep your mouth shut or do I need to start thinking of places to dump your body?"

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," he said.

"You're not a gentleman." I retort putting my shoes back on. "That's why I'm worried." I glanced at my reflection in the full-length mirror on the wall. Once I was sure that I looked normal-not guilty-I turned to face Austin again. "Hurry up and put your pants on. We need to finish this essay. You might not care but I don't get anything less than an A-" he groans but gets up anyway

It was a little after seven that night when Austin and I finally finished the essay for English. Well the rough draft I should say. I made him promise like three times that he'd e-mail me the draft later so that I could edit it.

"You don't trust me to get it done?" he asked while we were in the foyer, he raised an eyebrow and put a hand across his chest as if he was hurt.

"I don't trust you with anything," I said with the roll of the eyes.

"Except getting you off." He was wearing that smirk that I hated it took everything in me not to smack it off him right there and then. "So, was this a one-time thing, or will I be seeing you again?"

I started to snort, to tell him he was dreaming if he honestly thought I'd be back, but then I remembered that I was about to go back home. The manila envelope would probably still be lying on my kitchen table.

"Ally?" Austin asked. A shiver ran across my skin when he touched my shoulder. "Are you all right?"

I jerked out of his reach and moved toward the door. I'd gotten halfway out before I turned to him and said, with a moment of hesitation, "We'll see." Then I ran down the front steps.

"Ally, wait!"

I clutched my jacket closer to me, trying to fight the cold wind, and yanked open the door of my car. He was behind me in seconds, but, thankfully, he didn't touch me this time. "What?" I demanded as I slid into the front seat. "I need to get home."

Home, the last place I wanted to go.

The winter sky had already turned black, but I could still see Austin's hazel eyes in the darkness. They were hypnotizing and beautiful. He crouched down by my door to get to my eye level, and the way he was looking at me made me really uncomfortable. "You didn't answer the other question."

"What other question?"

"Are you all right?"

I scowled at him for a long moment, assuming he was just trying to be a pain in my ass. But something about his lighted eyes made me hesitate. "Umm, yeah don't worry about it," I whispered. I started my car, and he darted out of the way when I moved to slam the door shut. "Bye, Austin."

And I drove away.

When I got home, Dad was still in his bedroom. I finished cleaning up the living room, avoiding the kitchen altogether, and ran upstairs to take a shower. The hot water didn't wash away the dirty feeling Austin had left on my skin, but it did relax some muscles that were forming tense knots in my back and shoulders. I just hoped the dirt would wash away in time.

I'd barely wrapped a towel around me when my cell phone started ringing in my bedroom, and I rushed across the hall to answer it in time.

"Hey, A," Trish said from the other end. "So are you and Austin done?"

"What?!" I half scream, there is no way she could know is there?

"You two were working on the English project today, weren't you?" she asked. "I thought he was meeting you at your place."

"Oh, right. Well, I wound up going over to his house instead." I was trying hard not to sound guilty.

"Oh my gosh, you mean the mansion?" Trish asked. "Lucky! Did you walk out onto one of the balconies? Piper said that's half the reason she wants to hook up with him again. Last time, it was just in the backseat of his Porsche, but she really wants to see the inside of that house."

"Is there a point to this conversation, Trish?"

"Oh, yeah," she laughed. "Sorry. It's no big deal. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

What was with everyone asking me that tonight?

"I know you hate him," she continued. "I wanted to make sure you were fine… and that he was okay, too. You didn't, like, stab the boy, did you? I mean, I totally disapprove of murdering hotties, but if you need help burying the body, you know I'll bring the shovel."

"Thanks, Trish," I said. "But he's alive. Today wasn't as bad as I expected. Actually…" I almost told her everything. How Mom and Dad were getting a divorce and how, in a moment of desperation, I'd kissed Austin, again. How that kiss had turned into something much, much more. How my body felt dirty all over, yet at the same time amazingly free. The words lingered on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't make them come out.

Not yet, at least.

"Actually what, Als?" she asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Um… nothing. He actually had some good ideas for the paper. That's it. I guess he actually does have a brain"

"Well, that's good. I know you find smart boys sexy. Are you gonna admit you want him now?"

I froze, not knowing how to respond to this, but Trish was laughing already.

"I'm teasing, but I'm glad things turned out okay. I was a little worried about you today. I just had this feeling that something bad was going to happen. I guess I was just being paranoid."

"Probably."

"I've got to go. Cassidy wants me to call her with all the details of my meeting with Elliot. She just doesn't get it, does she? Anyway, I'll see you at school on Monday."

"Okay. Bye, Trish."

"See you later, Al."

I hung up the cell phone and placed it on my nightstand, feeling like a total liar. Technically, I hadn't lied; I'd only withheld, but still… withholding from Trish was, like, a mortal sin. Especially when she made such a point of opening herself to my problems.

But I'd tell her eventually. Well, about my parents, at least. I just needed to deal with it myself before I sprang it on her and Cassidy. The Austin thing, though…I just hoped they'd never find out. I knew I would never hear the end of it

I laid on my bed writing in my book as i always do. Weirdly, I wasn't as stressed as I'd expected myself to be. I tried to chalk it up me writing in my book but the truth was and while I hated to admit it, I definitely had Austin to thank for that.

 **Alright a few things 1. Thank you so much to everyone who has given this story so much love with reviews, favorites, and follows. Thank you! 2. I still need suggestions for a song that I want Austin and Ally to sing along to, I imagine the scene like this both of them in his car listening to the radio and then a song comes on that they can't help but sing along to. Please keep sending in ideas. 3 I put up this story to deal with Austin and Ally ending and how much I'm going to miss it and I wanted to know if there are any other Austin and Ally stories out there that you think I should check out. (Especially if they have a relationship like in this story where they don't like each other a first but then soon fall for each other. I love those!) So please send in some recommendations 4 lastly I have written another story, it is only going to be about 2-3 chapters long, it is originally mine and it's about Austin and Ally secretly dating. It is set around season 2 and it is called "Our Little Secret" so please check that out when you get a chance and let me know what you think. Sorry for such a long author's note and don't forget to review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own The Duff or Austin and Ally**

Dad didn't leave his bedroom for the rest of the weekend. I knocked a couple of times over the weekend and offered to make him something to eat, but the only response I got was a grunt or a murmured refusal, never opening the door between us. His isolation scared me to the bone. He must have been depressed about Mom, and ashamed he'd fallen off the wagon to top it off, but I knew this wasn't healthy. I decided that if he hadn't emerged by Monday afternoon, I would bust into the room and… well, I didn't know what I'd do next. In the meantime, I just tried not to think of my father or the divorce papers on the kitchen table.

Surprisingly, that was pretty easy.

Most of my thoughts swarmed around Austin believe it or not. It made me feel disgusting and I really didn't know how to handle school on Monday. What did one do after having a one-night stand (or, in my case, one-afternoon stand) with the school's biggest bad boy and notorious player? Was I supposed to act nonchalant? Treat him with my normal undisguised hatred? Or, because I'd honestly enjoyed myself, should I act, like, grateful? Tone down the disdain and be pleasant? Did I owe him something? Surely not. He'd gotten just as much out of the experience as I had, minus the self-loathing.

By the time I arrived at school Monday morning, I'd pretty much settled on avoiding him entirely.

"Are you okay, Ally?" Cassidy asked as we made our way out of Spanish at the end of first block. "You're acting, no offense but weird."

I'll admit, my spy skills weren't exactly smooth, but I knew that Austin walked past the classroom on his way to second period, and I didn't want to risk an awkward post-sex meeting in the hallway. I peered anxiously around the edge of the door, scanning the crowd for those unmistakable blonde bangs. But if Cassidy could tell something was up, I was being way too obvious.

"It's nothing," I lied, stepping out into the hall. I looked both ways, like a small child crossing a busy highway, and I was relieved that I didn't see him anywhere. "I'm fine."

"Oh, okay," she said without suspicion. "I must be imagining it, then."

"Yeah."

Cassidy ran her fingers through her blonde locks. "Oh, Ally, I forgot to tell you! I'm so excited!"

"Let me guess," I teased. "This has something to do with Elliot, right? Did he ask you where you got your cute shoes from this time? Or how you condition your luscious hair?"

"No!" Cassidy giggled. "No… Actually, it's my brother. He's coming to visit us for the week, and he should be getting into Miami by noon today. He's going to pick me up from school this afternoon. I'm really excited to see him. It's been, like, two and a half years since he left for college and -. Hey, Ally, are you sure you're okay?"

I stood frozen in the middle of the hallway. I could feel the blood draining from my face, and my hands turned cold and started to shake. I felt like I had to puke, but I told the same old lie. "I'm fine." I forced my feet to move again. "I just, um, thought I forgot something. It's fine. Now, what were you saying?"

Cassidy nodded. "Oh, well, I'm so excited about Jack! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've really, really missed him. It'll be nice to hang out with him for a few days. Oh, and I think Tina is coming with him. Did I tell you they just got engaged?"

"No. That's great… I've got to get to class, bye."

"Oh… okay. Well, I'll see you in English, Ally." I was halfway down the hallway before Cassidy got the sentence out of her mouth.

I pushed past the stampeding students, barely hearing them as they gave me dirty looks for stepping on their toes or ramming them with my backpack. The sounds around me slowly faded as unwanted memories flooded into my head. It was like Cassidy's words had broken the wall that I had built up so long ago.

" _So, you're Ally? The freshman bitch that's been screwing my boyfriend?"_

" _Your boyfriend? I haven't been-"_

" _Stay the hell away from Jack."_

My face burned as the memories rushed back. My feet moved so fast I felt like a cheetah as I ran towards my History class. As if I could outrun the thoughts. As if they wouldn't chase me with a vengeance. But Jack would be back in Miami for a week. Jack was engaged to Tina. Jack Henderson… the boy who broke my heart.

I ran into the classroom just as the tardy bell rang. I knew Mr. Wallace's eyes were glaring in my direction, but I didn't bother to look. I took my seat near the back of the room, trying desperately to focus on something else.

But not even Dallas and his smart historical observations and witty commentary on the legislative branch could keep my thoughts away from Jack and his bride to be.

I barely heard a word Mr. Wallace said all class, and when the bell rang, my page of notes, which would normally have been full of details from the lecture, consisted of only two short, barely legible sentences. Great, now I was going to fail this class. Just another thing to add to all the crap that was going on in my life.

.

I slouched toward the cafeteria, and I found Trish and Cassidy waiting for me at our table. As always, Kira, Piper and Piper's sister Carrie joined us. Kira was busy showing everyone her new heels, so my sulkiness went unnoticed as I slumped into my chair.

"Cute," Trish commented, grinning at the shoes. "Who got them for you?"

"Daddy," Kira answered, stroking the toe of her purple shoe. "He and Mom are competing for my love now. At first it was kind of annoying, but I've decided to take the high road and have fun with it." She crossed her legs and tossed back her dark hair. Kira's dad was Jimmy Starr, he created some of the biggest names in music. I dream to be one of those names one day

"I didn't get anything cool out of my parents' divorce," Trish said. "My dad didn't really care if I loved him more, I guess."

"Divorces are depressing," Cassidy sighed. "I'd be heartbroken if my parents split up. Wouldn't you, Ally?"

I felt heat rush to my face, but Trish was switching the subject, so I pretended I hadn't heard Cassidy's question. "Hey, Piper, what happened on Homecoming night? You never told us how that went down."

Carrie giggled knowingly. "You haven't told them yet, Piper?"

Piper rolled her eyes and twirled a strand of her blond hair around her perfectly manicured finger. "Oh my Gosh. Okay, so Clint is totally not speaking to me anymore, and Ross…"

Her voice drifted into the background and my mind wandered. As much as I wanted to stop thinking of Jack, I couldn't bring myself to be interested in Piper's boy troubles. On any other day, I would have found mild amusement in her story, like she was my own personal soap opera, but at that moment her drama seemed so vague and unimportant. So vapid. So indulgent. So empty.

Then something she said caught my full attention.

"… but I did fool around with Austin for a little while afterward."

"Austin?" I said.

Piper beamed at me, proud of what she viewed as an achievement. Didn't she know more than two-thirds of the girls in school had accomplished the same thing? Including me… thankfully, she didn't know that part. "Yeah," she said. "After the fight with Clint, I wound up out in the parking lot with Austin. We messed around in his car for a while, but my mom called, so I had to get home before we could do anything. Sucks, right?"

"Sure."

My eyes moved across the cafeteria, searching for a few seconds before they located the blonde in question. He sat with a group of friends-mostly girls, naturally-at a long rectangular table on the other side of the room. He was wearing his signature leather jacket and a tight white T-shirt that, while not what I would consider school appropriate I had to admit I did like how it showed off his perfect muscular arms. Arms that had twined around me… arms that had helped erase my stress…

"Did I tell you guys that my brother is coming to town?" Cassidy asked. "He and his fiancée are visiting for the week."

Trish's eyes immediately widen and turned to me filled with worry. Before anyone could say another word I was on my feet. "Where are you going, Als?"

Everyone at the table looked at me then, and I tried to sound convincing. "I just remembered," I said. "I need to go talk to Austin about our English project." I had an idea, one that might lead to trouble but I didn't care I just needed an escape.

"Didn't you finish that on Saturday?" Cassidy asked.

"We got started on it, but we didn't finish the paper."

"Cause you were too busy making out," Trish teased, winking at me.

Don't look guilty. Don't look guilty.

"Making out?" Piper raised an eyebrow at me. She actually looked a little mad, as if she and Austin were in a legit serious relationship

"Didn't you hear?" Cassidy laughed, smiling good-naturedly at me. "Ally is madly in love with Austin."

I faked a gagging noise and everyone laughed. "Yeah, right," I said, making sure that my voice was full of irritation and disgust. "I can't stand him.

"I'd be ecstatic if I were you," Piper said, sounding a little bitter. Yeah it was official she wanted to kill me

Carrie and Piper nodded in agreement.

"Anyway." I was feeling a little jumpy. "I need to talk to him about getting this done. I'll see you all later, okay?"

Before they could say their goodbyes I was out of there

I hurried through the crowded cafeteria, not slowing down until I was within five feet of Austin's table, where the only other male occupant was Elliot. Then I paused for a second, suddenly a little hesitant.

One of the girls, a skinny blonde with Angelina Jolie lips, was rattling on about her crappy vacation in Colorado, and Austin was listening with rapt attention-obviously trying to convince her of his sympathy. Disgust erased my insecurity, and I cleared my throat loudly, getting the whole group's attention.

The blonde was agitated and angry, but I focused on Austin, who looked at me casually, like he would any other girl. I turned up my nose and said, "I need to talk to you about our English paper."

"Right this second?" Austin asked with a sigh.

"Yeah," I said. "Right now. I'm not going to fail this stupid assignment because of your laziness"

He rolled his eyes and got to his feet. "Sorry, ladies," he said to the tragedy-stricken girls. "I'll see you tomorrow. You'll save a seat for me?"

"Of course we will," a tiny redhead squeaked. Before he could reply I yanked him away towards the exit of the cafeteria .As Austin and I walked away, I heard Big Lips hiss, "Ugh, that girl is a bitch!"

When we were out in the hallway Austin asked, "What's the problem, Duffy? I e-mailed you the essay last night, just like you demanded. And where exactly are we going? The library?"

"Just shut up and come with me." I led him down the hall past the English classrooms.

Don't ask where I got this idea, because I couldn't tell you, but I knew precisely where we were going, and I was sure that this might officially make me just as bad as Piper and Kira. But when we reached the door of the unused janitor's closet, I had no feeling of shame… not yet, at least.

I grasped the doorknob and noticed Austin's eyes narrow with suspicion. I yanked open the door, checked that no one was watching, and gestured for him to go inside. Austin walked into the tiny closet, and I followed, shutting the door stealthily behind us.

"Something tells me this isn't about The Scarlet Letter," he said, and even in the dark I knew he was wearing his classic smirk.

"Be quiet."

This time he met me halfway. His hands tangled in my hair and mine clawed at his forearms. We kissed violently, and my back slammed against the wall. I heard a mop-or maybe a broom-topple over, but my brain barely registered the sound as one of Austin's hands moved to my hip, holding me closer to him. He was so much taller than me that I had to tilt my head back almost all the way to meet his kiss. His lips pressed hard against mine, and I let my hands explore his biceps.

The smell of his cologne, rather than the lonely, stale air of the closet, filled my senses.

We wrestled in the darkness for a while before I felt his hand insistently lifting the hem of blouse. With a gasp, I pulled away from the kiss and grabbed his wrist. "No… not now."

"Then when?" Austin asked in my ear, still pinning me to the wall. He didn't even sound winded.

I, on the other hand, struggled to catch my breath. "Later."

"Be more specific."

I squirmed out of his arms and moved toward the door, nearly tripping over what felt like a bucket. I raised a hand to flatten my wavy hair and reached for the doorknob. "Tonight. I'll be at your house around seven. Okay?" But before he could answer, I slipped out of the closet and hurried down the hall. What did I get myself into?

 **I've decided I am going to post another chapter today. I just really love sharing this story with you guys. The next chapter will probably be up within an hour**


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

I didn't think the final bell would ever ring. Chemistry which I normally enjoyed just felt like it wouldn't end and English was nerve-racking. I caught myself glancing across the room at Austin several times, anxious to feel the mind-numbing effects of his arms, hands, and lips again.

I just prayed my friends didn't notice. Cassidy, of course, would believe me if I told her she was imagining things; Trish, on the other hand I would probably interrogate me for hours and guess everything that had happened, seeing right through my denials. I really needed to get the out of there before I was exposed.

But when the bell finally rang, I was in no hurry to walk outside.

Cassidy skipped toward the cafeteria with her "I can't wait to see him!"

"We get it, Cass," Trish said. "You love your big brother. It's cute, really, but you've said that… twenty times today? Thirty, maybe?"

Cassidy blushed "Well, I can't wait."

"Of course you can't." Trish smiled at her. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you, too, but you might want to calm down just a tiny bit." She stopped in the middle of the cafeteria and looked over her shoulder at me. "You coming, A?"

"No," I said, crouching down and messing with my shoestrings. "I need to… tie this. You guys go ahead. Don't stall the reunion for me."

Trish gave me a knowing look before nodding and pushed Cassidy ahead.

I waited in the cafeteria for a good twenty minutes, not wanting to chance seeing him in the parking lot. How funny that, less than seven hours earlier, I'd been avoiding a completely different guy… one I was now desperate to see. I knew it was dumb and kind of slutty of me to think but I couldn't keep from my mind from wandering to Austin's bedroom. I couldn't wait to be back in Austin room and back on my own private island getaway. Back in my world of escape. But first I had to wait until Jack drove out of the parking lot.

When I felt confident that he'd gone, I walked out of the school, slid into the driver's seat, , and started the engine. The ride home seemed to take hours even though Marino High was only about fifteen minutes from my house.

I'd just started to wonder if I could go to Austin's house a few hours early when I pulled into my driveway and remembered my dad. Oh, great. His car was in the driveway, but he shouldn't have been home from work yet.

"Damn it!" I wailed, punching the steering wheel and jumping like an idiot when the horn sounded. "Damn it! Damn it!"

How could I be so selfish? How could I forget about Dad? I was worried as I climbed out of the car and walked up the sidewalk that he might still be in his room. If he was, would I have to break down the door? Then what?

But Dad was sitting on the couch when I walked inside, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. I hesitated in the doorway, not sure what the hell was going on. He looked… normal. He didn't look like he'd been crying or drinking or anything. He just looked like my dad, the same way I saw him every other day of the week.

"Hey, Ally-cat," he said, looking up at me. "Want some popcorn? There's a George Clooney movie marathon on."

"Um… no thanks." I looked around the room. No broken glass. No beer bottles. Like he hadn't been drinking that day at all. I wondered if that was it. If the relapse was over. Did relapses work that way? I had no clue. "Dad, are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine," he said. "I woke up late this morning, so I decided not to open Sonic Boom today I haven't taken any of vacation days, so it's not a big deal."

I glanced into the kitchen. The manila envelope still sat on the kitchen table. Untouched.

He must have followed my gaze, or guessed, because he said with a shrug, "Oh, those stupid papers! You know, they had me in such a fit. I finally thought about it and realized that they're just a mistake. Your mom's lawyer heard she'd been gone a little longer than usual this time and jumped the gun."

"Have you talked to her?"

"No," Dad admitted. "But I'm sure that's the problem. It must be. Nothing to worry about, how was your day?"

"It was good."

We were both lying, but I knew that my words weren't true. He, on the other hand, seemed genuinely convinced. How could he be so nonchalant? Shock, I decided as I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. He was simply in shock. But the denial wouldn't last long. Eventually he'd wake up. I just hoped he'd do it with grace.

I stretched out on my bed with my song book trying to come up with lyrics. My eyes kept jumping to the alarm clock on my nightstand. 4:28… 4:37… 4:45… Minutes ticked by, and song lyrics were just not coming to me because my mind kept wandering to between my dad and Austin. Finally I slammed the book shut and conceded defeat.

This was sick. I should not have been thinking of Austin. I shouldn't have been kissing Austin. I shouldn't have been sleeping with Austin. Hell, barely a week earlier I would have thought speaking to him was horrific. But the more my world spun, the more appealing he became. Don't get me wrong, I still hated him with a passion. His arrogance made me want to scream, but his ability to free me-if only temporarily-from my problems left me high.

Even sicker was the way I lied to Trish about it when she called at five-thirty.

"Hey, are you okay? Oh my I can't believe Jack's back. Are you freaking out? Do you need me to come over?"

"No." I was feeling jumpy, still glancing at the clock every few minutes. "I'm fine."

"Don't bottle it up, Als," she urged.

"I'm not. I'm fine."

"I'm coming over," she said.

"No," I said quickly. "Don't. There's no reason to."

There was silence for a second, and when Trish spoke again, she sounded kind of hurt. "Okay… but, I mean, even if we didn't talk about Jack, we could just hang out or whatever."

"I can't," I said. "I, um…" It was five-thirty-three. Still an hour before I could leave for Austin's. But I couldn't tell Trish that. Never. "I'm thinking I might go to bed early tonight."

"What?"

"I'm exhausted. My homework just tired me out."

She knew I was lying. It was pretty obvious. But she didn't question me. Instead, she just said, "Well… fine, I guess. But maybe tomorrow? Or this weekend? You really do need to talk about it, Als. Even if you don't think you need to. Just because he's Cassidy's brother…"

I immediately felt guilty, I was such a bad friend. But Austin was just something I had to lie about. To everyone.

When six-forty-five finally rolled around, I raced downstairs keys in hand, I found Dad in the kitchen, microwaving popcorn. He smiled at me "Where are you going, Ally-cat?"

This was a problem I didn't consider

"I'm going to Austin Moon's house. We're working on a paper for English class. I won't be home late or anything." Oh, please, I thought. Please don't let my cheeks turn red.

"Okay," Dad said. "Have fun at Austin's'."

"Will do"

I practically sprinted out to my car, and I tried very, very hard not to speed when I pulled onto the highway. I was not getting my first ticket because of Austin. The line had to be drawn somewhere.

I already crossed so many

What exactly was I doing? I'd always mocked girls who slept with Austin, and yet, here I was, becoming one of them. I told myself there was a difference. Those girls thought they had a shot with Austin; they found him sexy and appealing-which, in a twisted way, I guess he was. They believed he was a good guy they could tame, but I knew he was a just an ass. I only wanted his body. No strings. No feelings. I only wanted the high.

Great, now I was a junkie and a slut

My car came to a stop in front of the gigantic house, and I was still trying to find reasons that would make my actions okay. I walked up the sidewalk and rang the doorbell. A second later, the lock clicked and the knob turned. The instant Austin's face appeared in the doorway, I yanked him down so his lips could connect to mine. In that moment I knew that, regardless of my reasoning, this entire thing was wrong. Disgusting. Sick. Unhealthy.

And completely exhilarating.

I had major sex hair. I stared into the big mirror and tried to flatten the mess of Chestnut brown waves while Austin put his clothes on behind me. Definitely not a situation I'd ever imagined myself in.

"I'm perfectly fine with being used," he said as he pulled on his white T-shirt. His hair was pretty incriminating, too. "But I would like to know for what I'm being used. You could at least tell me that Duffy"

"Distraction."

"What am I supposed to be distracting you from? There's a chance that, if I know, I could do my job more efficiently."

"You're doing just fine already." I sighed giving up on even trying to fix my wild curls. I turned away from the mirror and faced Austin. To my surprise, he was watching me with actual interest. "Do you really care?"

"Yeah." He sat up and patted a spot beside him. "There more to me than an amazing body, a handsome face and perfect hair. I have-

"Modesty" I interrupt with as much sarcasm as possible.

"No. I was going to say ears perfect for listening, you smartass"

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly sat next to him, "Okay, not that it matters, but I found out that my ex is coming back to town for a week this morning. I panicked. I mean, the last time we saw each other… it didn't go very well. That's why I dragged you into the closet at school."

"What happened?"

"You were there. Don't make me relive it."

"I meant with your ex-boyfriend," Austin said. "I'm curious. How bad could this guy be to cause you, to run into my arms? I mean you hate me".

"We started dating during my freshman year," I began reluctantly. "He was a senior, and I knew that my parents would never let me see him if they knew how old he was. So we kept the whole thing a secret from everyone. He never introduced me to his friends or took me places or talked to me at school, and I just assumed it was to protect us. Well, of course, I was totally wrong."

I can't believe I am sharing something so personal with Austin. He would probably look at me with pity. Poor Duffy. My skin got goosebumps as I felt his strong gaze on me. I kept my eyes planted to the floor not wanting to see his reaction to my story. A story I'd never told anyone but Trish.

"So I saw him hanging out with this girl a few times at school," I continued. "Every time I asked, he just said they were friends and not to worry. So I didn't. I mean, he told me he loved me. I had every reason to believe him. Right?"

Austin didn't answer.

"Then she found out. This girl I'd been seeing him with tracked me down at school one day, and she told me to stop screwing her boyfriend. I thought it was a mistake, so I asked him about it…"

"Not a mistake," Austin guessed.

"Nope. Her name was Tina, and they'd been together since seventh grade. I was the other woman-or girl, technically."

Slowly, I looked up and saw Austin making a face. "What a jackass," he said.

"You can't talk. You're the biggest playboy there is."

"True," he admitted. "But I don't make promises. He told you he loved you I would never do anything like that. I don't say anything I don't mean. What he did was a douche bag move

"Anyway, he's back in town this week with Tina… his fiancée."

"Wow." Austin says "That's crazy, how are you not in a padded room?"

"Shut up"

There was a long pause. Finally, Austin asked, "So, who is he? Would I remember him?"

"I don't know. You might. His name is Jack Henderson."

Austin's face twisted in horror. "Jack Henderson? You mean that strange guy? The freak with the acne and hooked nose?" His eyes widened in shock. "How the hell did he get two girls? Why would anyone go out with him? Why would you go out with him? He was a beast."

"Thanks," I muttered. "Did you ever think that maybe that's the best that the Duff could do?"

Austin's face fell. He looked away from me, examining his music collection. After a few moments of awkward silence, he said, "You know, Ally, you aren't that unattractive. You do have some potential. Maybe if you hung out with different friends-"

"Shut up" I said. "I've already slept with you twice. You don't have to flatter me. Besides, I love my friends way too much to trade them in for the sake of looking hotter."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean, Trish has been my best friend since, like, forever, and she's the most loyal person I've ever met. And Cassidy… well, she has no idea about me and her brother. We weren't friends back then. In fact, I didn't want to know her after we broke up. I could never give either of them up just to look good. That'd make me a real dumbass."

"Then they're lucky to have you."

"I just said not to flatter-"

"I'm being honest." Austin frowned "I have only one friend-one real friend Dez he is kind of off the wall but he's been my best friend forever. A small smile spread across his lips and I can tell that it's genuine 'He is the male equivalent of the Duff though"

"What?"

"He's my duff, girls try to become friends with him to get close to me. He already know he's the duff and doesn't really care. Did you think the duff only applied to girls?

"Yeah, I guess"

He looked at me seriously. "Does the word even bother you?" he asked.

"No." I said quickly knowing was a lie the second the answer passed my lips. It did bother me, but I wouldn't admit that. Especially not to him.

My entire body seemed to be conscious of his eyes on me again. Before he could say anything, I stood up and walked to the bedroom door.

"Listen," I said, twisting the knob. "I have to go, but I was thinking we could do this again. I don't know?"

"Can't get enough of me, can you?" Austin asked, stretching out on his back again with a smirk. "That sounds good to me, but if I'm so fantastic, you should spread the word to your friends. You say you love them, so you ought to let them experience the same mind-blowing pleasure… maybe at the same time. It's only right."

I scowled at him. "Just when I think you might have a soul, you say something like that." The door thudded against the wall when I flung it open. I marched down the stairs and yelled, "I'll let myself out!"

"Try not to miss me too much, Duffy."

What an asshole.

 **Thank you guys for supporting this story. I appreciate all the reviews so please keep them coming. And if there are any other good Austin and Ally Fanfics let me know!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own The Duff or Austin and Ally**

Over the next few weeks I kept going back to Austin like a moth to a flame. I can't quite explain it but hooking up with him just made any stress I had melt away.

Everyone around me was oblivious, especially my dad .Whenever I left for Austin's I would lie and say we were working on our English assignment. I mean who works on an English project for almost a month?

But he would always nod his head and say "Have fun"

He had no idea. I blame his cluelessness on that he had his mind on bigger things. He still hasn't touched the envelope that we both knew held divorce papers that mom has signed. It was starting to gather dust.

He wasn't the only one suffering from a case of cluelessness. Trish who knew me like the back of her hand and could read me like a book was also unaware of what was going on between me and Austin. I was even more surprised that she didn't figure it out since she has been watching me like a hawk since Jack came into town. Although I was doing everything in my power to hide the evidence of Austin and I's hookups, there were a few time, I was sure she caught me.

Like this afternoon when we were hanging out in my bedroom studying. Well I was studying, Trish was playing on her phone.

We were so different from each other. We weren't just opposites, it was like Trish and I were from different planets. She was always drifting to sleep in class, I listened attentively and took notes for the both of us. She was always fifteen minutes late, I was always fifteen minutes early. She doesn't care about her career as long as t make good money, I wanted a career where I can share my love of music with the world. We kept each other balanced. Go figure.

I finally closed my history book and opened my song book, trying to work on this song I was stuck on. Trish finally shuts off her phone and turns to me serious "You know, Als, I'm impressed with how you handled Jack being in town. I thought you'd be in a padded room by time he left." she said.

I rolled my eyes. I would expect Austin to say that but not her"why does everyone say that?"

She furrowed her eyebrows "Who else said that?"

Oh crap. "Umm no one"

She knew I was lying but she let it go and continued

"Well, I kind of figured that when Jack rolled back into Miami with his fiancée, you'd be freaked. I was banking on tears, midnight phone calls, and some good old nervous breakdowns. Instead, you were being, like, totally normal until the day he left two weeks ago "

"Seriously." She crossed the room and sat down next to me. "Are okay? You've barely talked about it, which is disturbing because you talk a lot."

"Do not," I protested.

"Whatever you say."

I rolled my eyes. "For your information, I've found a way to take my mind off it, but that's kind of ruined when you keep talking about it" I nudged her playfully with my elbow. "I'm starting to think that you want me to cry."

"At least that would prove to me that you're not bottling it up."

"Trish," I groaned.

"I'm not kidding, Als," she said. "This guy really messed you up freshman year. You were a crying, blubbering, panicking mess after what he did, and I know it's hard because we have to keep it from Cass, but you need to deal with it somehow. I don't want to see you go through that shit again."

"Trish, I'm fine," I assured her. "I really have found a way to relieve the stress, okay?"

"What's that?"

Oh crap!

"What's what?"

Trish frowned at me. "Don't play dumb with me. Your way of relieving the stress. What are you doing?"

"Um… just stuff."

"Are you working out?" she asked. "Don't be embarrassed if you are. My mom does cardio when she's pissed off. She says it helps her channel the negative energy-whatever that means. So is that what you're doing? Are you working out?"

Um… you could say that."

Damn it. My cheeks were definitely burning. I turned away from her, staring intently at the lyrics in my book

"Cardio?"

"Mmm-hmm." It wasn't technically a lie.

"Well it's working, I've never seen you look this glowing."

I blush even harder

"So whatever you're doing, keep it up"

Whatever I'm doing? More like who I'm doing

"Umm will do" oh my gosh I was blushing so hard I'm sure my face resembled a tomato.

Thankfully she changed the subject to these pair of shoes she wanted to buy, and I thanked my lucky stars, that she didn't catch onto me.

* * *

Your shot, Duffy." Austin leaned on his pool stick, a triumphant smirk on his face.

"You haven't won yet," I said, rolling my eyes.

"But I'm about to."

I ignored him, focusing my attention on one of the two striped balls still remaining on the table. At that point, I really wished Austin and I had just stuck to our pattern-walk straight up to his bedroom, bypassing everything else entirely. But that night on the way up the stairs, Austin had mentioned having a pool table-and proceeded to brag that he was a wizard with a pool stick. For some reason, it sparked a competitive nerve in me. I just couldn't wait to wipe the floor with him and knock that cocky little grin right off his face.

Only, I was starting to regret my decision to challenge him to this game because, as it turned out, his boasts hadn't been too far from the truth. I wasn't bad at pool either, but I was about to get my butt kicked. And there was nothing I could do to wiggle my way out of it.

"Steady there," he whispered, his lips brushing past my ear as he eased up behind me. His hands settled on my hips, fingers toying with the hem of my shirt. "Focus, Duffy. Are you focusing?"

He was trying to distract me. And I hated that it was working.

I jerked away from him, trying to thrust the back of my pool stick into his gut. But of course he dodged, and I succeeded only in knocking the cue ball in the opposite direction of what I'd intended, sending it right into one of the corner pockets.

"Scratch," Austin announced.

"Damn it!" I whirled around to face him. "That shouldn't count!"

"But it does, potty mouth." He took the white ball out of the hole and placed it carefully at the end of the table. "All's fair in love and pool."

"War," I corrected.

"Same thing." He eased the stick back, staring straight ahead, before shooting it forward again. Half a second later, the eight ball sailed into a pocket. The winning shot.

"Jackass," I hissed.

"Don't be a sore loser," he said, leaning his stick against the wall. "What did you really expect? I'm obviously amazing at everything." He grinned. "But, hey, you can't hold it against me, right? We can't help the way God makes us."

"You're an arrogant cheater." I tossed my pool stick aside, letting it clatter to the floor a few feet away. "Sore winners are way worse than sore losers, you know. And you only won because you kept messing me up! You couldn't keep your hands to yourself long enough for me to make a decent shot! That's just low. And another thing-"

Without warning, Austin lifted me up onto the pool table. His hands moved to my shoulders, and a second later, I was flat on my back, staring up at him as he smirked. He shifted so that he was on the table too, leaning over me with his face only inches from mine.

"On the pool table?" I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "Seriously?"

"I can't resist," he said. "You know, you're pretty sexy when you're pissed at me, Duffy."

First, I was struck by the irony of that statement. I mean, he used sexy and Duffy-implying I was fat and ugly-in the same sentence. The contrast was almost laughable. Almost.

The thing that really got me, though, was that no one, not even Jack, had ever called me sexy. Austin was the first. And the truth was, being with him made me feel attractive. The way he touched me. The way he kissed me. I could tell his body wanted me. Okay, okay. So it was Austin. His body wanted everyone. But still. It was a feeling I hadn't experienced in… well, I'd never experienced it. It was exciting and empowering.

But none of that could erase the stab of pain the last word in his statement gave me. Austin might have been the first to call me sexy, but he was also the first to call me the Duff. That word had been tugging at me, taunting me, for weeks now. And it was his fault.

So how could he see me as both sexy and Duffy at the same time?

Better question: why did I care?

Before I could come up with any decent answers, he started kissing me, his fingers already locating the buttons and zippers of my clothes. We became a tangle of lips and hands and knees, and the issue was completely pushed out of my head.

For the moment, at least.

 **So I know not a lot of big things happened in this chapter, but the purpose of the chapter is to let you know where the characters are at. It's a few weeks later from the last chapter, Jack is gone, Austin and Ally are continuing this enemies with benefits thing, and no one know about it…for now. I also wanted you guys to see how confused Ally is getting with her relationship with Austin that confusion will only continue to grow. Also I wanted to thank anybody who has read my little story"Our little secret" I promise to have the next chapter up soon. Don't forget to review! Til next time!**


	11. Chapter 11

**So fans of The Duff will probably realize that this is actually an original chapter! I dabbled in previous chapters incorporating my own work in with the story of The Duff but this chapter is completely mine! I hope you enjoy  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

My plans to sleep in Saturday morning were swiftly crushed as my phone's obnoxious ringing woke me up. I ignored it the first time but then it rung again and again. By probably the seventh time I finally let the dream of sleeping in go and answered the phone, I was going to kill Trish for calling my phone so much.

"What!" I answered my voice a mix of anger and drowsiness

"Hey Duffy" I heard from the other line

I groaned. Why the hell was he calling me?

"What do you want?" I say with as much venom as I could muster still in the zone between sleep and fully awake.

"Wow! Someone's not a morning person. I always imagined that when you woke up you had singing birdies doing your hair and little forest creatures picking what you were going to wear. You're kind of crushing my whole fantasy here"

"I shouldn't be in any fantasy of yours!" I snapped now sitting up in my bed, still too tired to get out all the way "Now what do you want?" I bite out

"How fast do you think you can get ready?"

I was a little surprised at his question "Why?"

"I want to take you somewhere"

"Where?"

"I'm not telling you"

"Then I'm not going"

"Oh, I think you will"

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Because if you don't I'll just hang out with your friends Trish and Cassidy, and maybe I'll let it slip that you and I had se-"

"You wouldn't dare" I interrupt him now fuming at what he was threatening me with

"Try me" he says and even though we were on the phone I could imagine that stupid grin on his face

"Trish and Cassidy wouldn't believe you, they know I wouldn't keep such a big secret from them" I said feeling like had gained the upper hand

"Except you have been keeping this a secret" he said" and this isn't the first time you kept a relationship you've had with a boy a secret, remember?"

At first I didn't know what he was talking about until it dawned on me, Jack "That was different"

"How?"

I think for a moment. What was the difference between what I was doing with Austin and what I did with Jack? Both situations were oddly similar.

It took me almost a full minute to come up with an answer "The difference is I had feelings for Jack and I feel nothing for you" I said proud of myself,

There was a beat of silence from the other end, for a second I thought he had hung up on me, but when I looked at my screen it showed he was still on the line. I felt a little guilty, maybe I went too far I've never experienced Austin not having a quick retort to any insult I threw at him.

After a long beat of silence Austin finally speaks again with a sigh. "Look, either you can go with me to where I want to take you or you can call my bluff about me squealing us out to your friends. But knowing you I doubt you would take the chance of me exposing us to Trish and Cassidy, so I kind of have an idea of what you're going to do, but it's your choice"

I groan feeling like I have no real choice" I'll be ready in 10"

I can hear the smirk in his voice" See you then Duffy!"

* * *

I make my way downstairs after receiving a text from Austin saying he was outside. I'm about to leave with my hand on the door knob ready to turn and make my escape when my dad's voice startles me to the bone

"Where are you going so early?" he ask with a raise of an eyebrow

"Over to Trish's house, she wants me to help her study for a big test we have Wednesday" I said lying effortlessly. I was getting scary good at this

"Well I guess I'll see you later. Have fun" he says

"I will" I say leaving through the door. Spending time with Austin was going to be as fun as a root-canal. Speaking of the blonde devil he was there in my driveway leaning against the hood of his car

"Good morning princess" he said in a condescending tone a big smirk on his lips

"Morning ass face" was my only rebuttal "let's get this over with" I say as I move to the passenger seat

"Wait! You're are going to need this" he says reaching into his back pocket, pulling out a blindfold

"What is that?" I said

"Uh a blindfold" he says as if I was dumb

"I know that, what do you want me to do with it?"

"Put it on" he was still talking to me like I was five

"No way! That wasn't part of the deal"

"It is now. Just put it on and quit complaining. Unless you would rather have be 'accidentally' spill the beans to Trish and Cassidy"

I glare daggers at him and let him put the stupid blindfold on me and lead me to his car "this day is going to suck" I mutter to myself in the passenger side

"I wouldn't' be too sure of that if I were you" he says as I feel him pull out the driveway and onto the road

* * *

We've been on the road for at least twenty minutes I was actually getting kind of scared, maybe he taking me out of town to kill me and then dump the body, I know I've fantasized about doing the same to him more than once. I really hated this blindfold I hated not being in control even more

"Where are we going? "I ask Austin for the hundredth time. He was really starting to piss me off.

"It's a surprise" he says

"I hate surprises"

"I know" he says and I can tell even with my blindfold on that he's smirking, the jackass

After about another ten minutes we must have arrived because the car has finally come to a stop. I reach to take my blindfold off but he stops me

"Woah, who said you could take that off?" He says

"You have to be kidding me"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"I don't know!" I say gesturing towards my blindfold

"Oh right" he said "just keep it on until I say so. Alright "

"Whatever" I huff crossing my arms like a little kid who doesn't get their way. He helps me out of the car and walks me a few steps."

"Ok, open your eyes" he says taking off my blindfold.

It takes my eyes a minute to adjust to the light but I soon realize where we were.

The carnival. I couldn't contain the smile on my face. I turn to face him his face now has a goofy grin on it to match mine.

"Are you surprised?" he asks me

"Yes, oh my gosh! How did you know I've always wanted to go to a carnival?"

"I remember you mentioning it to me a few weeks ago. I thought I'd surprise you and take you the annual Valentine's Day carnival" he says with a sheepish grin

"Austin, That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me" I immediately wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a big hug, he stiffens at first at the movement but then I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and he hugs me back. For a moment it feels good as if we were a couple and … I actually don't hate it.

I don't how long we stood embracing each other but after we pulled away I couldn't help but feel a little empty and miss the warmth of his hug. When I looked up at him I couldn't help but notice a faint blush on his cheeks. What was happening?

"Um, so do you want to go on some rides?" he asks rubbing the back of his neck, his bush still present.

"Um, yeah let's go" I said just awkward. And we were off to enjoy our day at the carnival.

Me and Austin spent the whole day at the carnival, and it actually wasn't terrible. We went on all kinds of rides from the Ferris wheel to this ride that had separate little carts that would spin while the whole platform spun too. I swear Austin's face turned green, but of course he said I was just seeing things when we got off. Austin even bought me my first funnel cake it, he thought it was a crime that I never had one and bought me one immediately. I had to admit it was one of the greatest things I ever had, but I wasn't going to let him know how right he was. Things only got weird when the day started to end

Austin and I were playing one of those carnival games where you had to shoot water at the target to win a prize. And while I hated to admit it, he was kicking my behind. After my third loss in a row, Austin had won three stuffed animals as prize and I was pissed. I threw my water gun down and crossed my arms like a 5-year old kid who didn't get their way. And of course Austin had to say something.

"Aww, is Dawson a bit of a sore loser?" he said in a mocking voice

"Shut up"

"Don't beat yourself up, I'm just really good at this, and pool, and video games, and… well everything really"

"I'm warning you Moon"

"I'm sure you have other things you're good at" he continued " in fact I know one thing you're **_fantastic_** at" he finished with a suggestive wink

My jaw dropped. That was it. I grabbed my water gun and shot a stream directly at the crotch of his pants, drenching them. Now it would like to everyone as if he had peed his pants. I was laughing my head off

Austin looked down at what I just did then back to me with wide eyes "You are gonna pay for that"

Next thing I know he has me wrapped up in his arms and is tickling my sides." A-Austin knock it off" I could barely get any words out from laughing so hard. I reached over and started to mess up his hair to get him to stop. He only tickled me harder.

We were both now a laughing mess in each other's arms, completely forgetting the carnival filled with people watching us. That is until we overheard an elderly couple who must have been watching the whole scene.

"Remember when we were like that Burt? They look so in love" the old lady said to a man who seemed to be her husband.

That immediately sobered us and we both pulled apart as fast as we could. We were both looking beet red. But when I looked into Austin's eyes I saw something, but it was gone as fast as it came.

"We should probably go home, it's getting late" he said his voice all of a sudden sounding distant

"Yeah" I nod. I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice. I don't think I did a good job

* * *

We were back in Austin's car on our way back to my house. You could cut the tension with a knife. Austin and his eyes set on the road while I looked out the window. This was so uncomfortable, we were having such a fun time why did it have to be like this?

"What are you thinking about?" he ask finally breaking the silence

I turn my head from the window to look at him shocked "How did you know I was thinking something?"

"You've been quiet for the past ten minutes, either you're thinking something or you've become a mute. And I don' think I'm lucky enough for the latter to happen, so what's up?"

I roll my eyes at his insult" I was just thinking…what is this?"

I notice him stiffen from behind the wheel. I continue any way

"I mean I hate your guts-"

"Thanks" he says sarcastically interrupting me

"But it it's like I can't stay away from you. It's almost like something keeps pulling me towards you" I say

"That's what all the ladies say "he say in a cocky tone

I give him my best glare even though I know his eyes are locked on the road "I just wish I knew what this" I gesture between him and myself "was"

After a minute of silence he finally speaks up again. "Why do we have to put a name on it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean whenever we need something to distract us from our lives we'll just go to each other. It doesn't have to be all physical or emotional but if either of us needs someone to take our minds off of something we'll be there for each other. It doesn't make us boyfriend and girlfriend we would just be….Austin and Ally. What do you think?"

Austin and Ally? I thought to myself. I had to admit it had a nice ring to it. "Alright there would have to be some ground rules" I finally say after a full minute of thinking

"Of course" he say sarcastically rolling his eyes

"We couldn't tell anyone about us. Especially Trish and Cassidy"

"Ally I was never going to tell them about us. I just said that to get you to come, I would never do that to you."

"Oh" I say shocked at his admission

"Any other rules?" he says

"Um, yeah just one more. Remember we aren't friends. I still hate you"

"Of course" he rolls his eyes "but if we aren't friends this wouldn't be friends with benefits, we would be…"

"Enemies with benefits?" I finish for him

He shrugs "I guess. So what do you think?"

What did I think? I mean Austin has been someone I couldn't stand for years, but now I just couldn't stay away. I needed someone to keep my mind off things and I guess Austin was the guy

"I'm in"

* * *

Now the drive had become silent, but not the awkward silence like before, this was more comfortable. The silence was put to an end when Austin turned on the radio

"Oh, I love this song" he says and turns it up

As the music began to play and fill the car I realized what song it was and was surprised when I realized that I loved it too. Next thing I know he is singing along

 _ **When tomorrow comes**_

 _ **I'll be on my own**_

 _ **Feeling frightened of**_

 _ **The things that I don't know**_

 _ **When tomorrow comes**_

 _ **Tomorrow comes**_

 _ **Tomorrow comes**_

He had a great voice, it's crazy how I never knew this. I'm not sure why but for some reason I decide to sing the next verse

 _ **And though the road is long**_

 _ **I look up to the sky**_

 _ **And in the dark I found,**_

 _ **I lost hope that I won't fly**_

 _ **And I sing along, I sing along**_

 _ **And I sing along**_

I can't believe I just did that and I guess Austin can't either, because the shock on his face was obvious I don't know why but we sing the rest of the song together

 _ **I got all I need when I got you and I**_

 _ **I look around me, and see a sweet life**_

 _ **I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight**_

 _ **You're getting me, getting me through the night**_

 _ **Can't stop my heart when you shinin' in my eyes**_

 _ **Can't lie, it's a sweet life**_

 _ **I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight**_

 _ **You're getting me, getting me through the night**_

' _ **Cause you're my flashlight (flashlight)**_

 _ **You're my flashlight (flashlight)**_

 _ **You're my flashlight**_

 _ **I see the shadows long beneath the mountain top**_

 _ **I'm not afraid when the rain won't stop**_

' _ **Cause you light the way**_

 _ **You light the way, you light the way**_

 _ **I got all I need when I got you and I**_

 _ **I look around me, and see a sweet life**_

 _ **I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight**_

 _ **You're getting me, getting me through the night**_

 _ **Can't stop my heart when you shinin' in my eyes**_

 _ **I can't lie, it's a sweet life**_

 _ **I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight**_

 _ **You're getting me, getting me through the night**_

 _ **(Light light light you're my flashlight, light, light)**_

 _ **Light light you're my flashlight**_

 _ **Light light light light light, oh**_

 _ **(Light light light you're my flashlight, light, light)**_

 _ **You're my flash, oh**_

 _ **I got all I need when I got you and I**_

 _ **I look around me, and see a sweet life**_

 _ **I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight**_

 _ **You're getting me, getting me through the night**_

 _ **Can't stop my heart when you shinin' in my eyes**_

 _ **I can't lie, it's a sweet life**_

 _ **I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight**_

 _ **(You're my flashlight)**_

 _ **You're getting me, getting me through the night**_

' _ **Cause you're my flashlight**_

' _ **Cause you're my flashlight**_

 _ **You're my flashlight**_

 _ **You're my flashlight**_

 _ **Light light**_

 _ **You're my flashlight**_

 _ **Light light ye-yeah**_

 _ **You're my flashlight**_

As we finish the last verse I can't contain the smile on my face. That was amazing.

"That was amazing!" Austin says voicing what I just said

I nod my head and sink low into my seat embarrassed that I actually sung in front of him. I've never sung in front of anyone before, not even Trish. So why did I feel so comfortable singing with Austin?

"I mean it, you are really good" he says

"Uh, yeah you too" I say my voice barely above a whisper. Oh my gosh! I slept with the boy for crying out loud so why was I getting so nervous about this?

"You okay?" He asks " It looks like something is bothering you"

I sigh and sit up in my seat, I might as well as fess up cause' I know he's not going to let this go

"I'm fine it's just that that was my first time singing in front of anyone"

"Really?"

"Yeah I mean Trish and Cassidy know that I enjoy singing and that I write songs but-"

"You write songs?" he asks interrupting me

"Uh, yeah" I say not prepared to reveal that much about myself.

"That is so cool. I can't write a song for my life but I love performing"

"Yeah, it was just something I've always done since I was little"

"Cool"

I just nod my head. I felt like I was in the twilight zone, spending time with Austin has been amazing. I felt so comfortable talking to him about music that I almost told him plans about going to MUNY but I talked myself out of it. I can't believe what he tells me next.

"I really want to go to MUNY" he says casually

My jaw hit the floor

"So do I" I say before thinking

"Awesome" he says

I nod my head to agree "Yeah that is awesome"

* * *

We spend the next twenty minutes talking about MUNY and singing along to other songs from "Stitches" by Shawn Mendes to "Girls" to by 1975 to even "Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber. Austin and I both said we hated ourselves for loving a song by Bieber.

When we get to my house I climb out the car and I'm surprised when Austin gets out the car too. He leans against the passenger car door looking at me, I look down and notice that the stain from the water gun earlier has almost dried and is barely noticeable. Unfortunately I must've been staring for too long.

"Like what you see" he says teasingly

"No" I say trying to sound as convincing as possible

"I seriously doubt that" he states with his stupid smirk

I couldn't help but smile though. After a full minute we are still standing there with the sun starting to set. I can't believe we spent the whole day together.

"Sooo" I say trying to end the awkward moment that was forming. Man was, this was weird, what do you do when you're " _Austin and Ally_ " Hug? Shake hands? Bump chests? Austin puts me out of my misery moments later when he leans down, almost as if he was going to kiss me. Luckily he just kisses me on the cheek but I couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. What was wrong with me?

I stood there sputtering like an idiot from his kiss on the cheek. Until he leaned in and whispered in my ear "You're sexy when you're flustered"

My mouth dropped open like a trout. He then turned me around and pushed me towards my front door, as if I was capable of getting there myself. If I am being honest probably I would've been out there for hours if he hadn't done something. As I make it to the door about to go in I risk a glance back at him. To my surprise he's still there leaned up against his car a smile etched onto his face. This smile was different though, it wasn't cocky like usual, it was more relaxed and sincere, as if he was looking at something in wonder and joy. I just gave him a polite wave and stepped into my house.

As I shut the door I slide down the back of the door and onto the floor. Questions kept spiraling around in my head: What was that? Why can't I stop smiling? And the biggest question of all: Did I just have the time of my life with my worst enemy?

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I really wanted to do something completely original and different from the book, I hope any book purist out there enjoyed it as well Also a big thanks to all the people who sent in song suggestion, but I decided to go with Flashlight by Jessie J (I do not own that either) I just love that song. Please review and the next chapter will be up soon.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy Valentine's Day! I know I just posted like a day or two ago but this chapter actually takes place on Valentine's Day so I thought it would be very fitting to post it today. I hope you enjoy**

 **Disclaimer I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

My happy mood from spending the whole day with Austin at the carnival stayed with me all weekend, and ended immediately on Monday, Valentine's Day. Normally Valentine's Day was one of my favorite holidays because how much I love love but ever since the breakup up with Jack the day has been kind of hard for me. Thinking of myself as the Duff didn't help the situation either. I hated having to watch other couples, show their love for each other, while I sat on the sidelines eating a whole box of chocolates … by myself.

"It's my favorite day of the year!" Cassidy cried as she danced her way down the hall toward Spanish. She already had at least seven rose in her arms, and we've only been at school for two hours! "All of the pink and red! And flowers and candy! Isn't it fun, Ally?"

"Sure.".

"Oh, I just wish Elliot had asked me to be his valentine," she said. "That would have been perfect, but we can't always get what we want, can we?"

"Nope."

"You know, I think this is the first year that all three of us have been single," Cassidy continued. "Last year, I was dating Gavin, and the year before that Trish was with Trent. And you were with…"

"No one" I finished for her a little annoyed at the reminder

"Yeah sorry about that, I guess we can all just be each other's valentines. That would be pretty fun. It is our last Valentine's Day together before college, and we haven't really hung out together lately. What do you think? We can hang out at my house to celebrate."

"Sounds good." A girl's night would be the perfect way to lift my spirits

Cassidy threw an arm around my shoulders. "Happy Valentine's Day, Ally!"

"You too, Cassidy." I smiled in spite of myself. I couldn't help it. Cassidy's attitude was contagious and it's hard to be negative with her as your friend.

We reached the classroom door and found our teacher waiting for us inside. "Ally," she said as I walked in. "I just got an e-mail from one of the secretaries at the front desk. She needs some students to come help distribute flowers people have sent. You're caught up on all your work, so would you mind doing that for me?"

"Um… okay."

"Lucky! I can't believe you get to skip out on class" Cassidy released me from her one-armed hug. "You get to deliver flowers. It's almost like you're playing Cupid."

Right. Because it's super fun to play cupid when you're all alone

"See you later," I said to Cassidy as I turned and walked right back out of the room. I pushed through the hordes of students, fighting against the current to make my way to the front desk. Couples seemed to be everywhere, displaying their affection-holding hands, batting eyes, exchanging gifts, making out-for the entire school to witness. It made jealousy spike in my heart.

I was about halfway to the front desk when a strong hand gripped my elbow. "Hello, Duffy."

"What do you want?"

Austin was grinning at me when I spun around to face him. "I just wanted to let you know that if you plan on dropping by tonight, I might be a little busy. With it being the day of love, I have a pretty full schedule."

Now he sounded like a professional man-whore.

"But if you're desperate to see me, I should be free around eleven o'clock."

"I think I can survive one night without you, Austin," I said rolling my eyes so hard I swear I felt like they would come out

"Sure you can." He released my arm and winked. "I'll see you tonight, Duffy." Then he was gone, swept away by the tidal wave of students on the verge of being late for class.

"Jackass," I groaned. Why was he like that? One minute he could be thoughtful and sweet, the next he was acting like a professional ass.

A few minutes later, I stood at the front desk where the secretary, who looked like a nervous wreck, smiled at me with relief. "Did Mrs. Jones send you? This way, this way. The table is over here." She led me around the corner and gestured to a foldable, square table with a vomit-green surface. "There it is. Have fun!"

"Not likely." I muttered under my breath

The table was covered-I mean covered-with bouquets, vases, heart-shaped boxes, and Hallmark cards. At least fifty bundles of red and pink waited to be handed out, and I got the privilege of being the bringer of such joy.

I was debating where to start when I heard footsteps behind me. Assuming the secretary had returned, I asked, without turning around, "Do you have a list of the classes these kids are in so I know where to take the gifts?"

"Yes, I do."

That didn't sound like the secretary.

I whirled around, shocked by the voice that had replied. It was one I knew very well, despite the fact that it had never-not once-spoken directly to me.

Dallas stood there with his perfect hair smiling. "Hi."

"Oh. I thought you were someone else."

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said. "So you were wrangled into this, too, huh?"

"Um, yeah." I was relieved to find my vocal chords weren't in a state of paralysis.

As always, Dallas was wearing a red button up with some dark jeans, and his brown hair fell around his face. Adorable. Unique. Intelligent. He was the embodiment of all the things I wanted in a guy. If I believed in stupid things like fate, I might have thought it was destiny that we were working together on Valentine's Day.

"Here are the class rosters," he said, handing me a green binder. "We should probably get started; this could take a while." His eyes scanned the field of gifts with is almond shaped eyes "I don't think I've ever seen so much pink in one place."

"I have. My best friend's bedroom."

Dallas chuckled and picked up a bouquet of pink and white roses. He eyed the tag and said, "The quickest way to get this done might be to separate these into piles based on which class each student is in. It will make delivery much more efficient."

"Right," I said. "Organize by class. Okay."

I was quite aware of how moronic I sounded with my less-than-eloquent replies, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I mean, just because my voice actually worked didn't necessarily mean I could use it well in his presence. I'd been crushing on Dallas for _years_ , so to say he made me nervous would be a massive understatement.

Lucky for me, Dallas didn't seem to notice. As we sorted the various gifts into groups, he even offered up some polite small talk. Slowly, I found myself easing into a semi-comfortable chat with him. A Valentine's Day miracle! Well, miracle was too strong a word-a miracle would have been him sweeping me into his arms and laying one on me right there. So maybe this was more like a Valentine's Day benefit. Either way, my awkward, idiotic dialogue began to fade away.

"Wow, there's a lot here for Piper," he said, placing a box of candy on top of a steadily growing pile. "Does she have six boyfriends?"

"I only know about three," I said. "But she doesn't tell me everything."

Dallas shook his head. "Jeez." He picked up a card and began to check the label. "So what are you and Austin doing for Valentine's Day? Any plans?"

"WHAT?!" I shouted shocked. How could think that Austin and I were a thing? I thought I made my disdain for him pretty clear.

Me raising my voice must have scared him because he literally jumped in surprise the card he was holding fell out of his hands. He picked up the card and placed in one of the piles. "I thought you and Austin were an item. The school says you are"

"Why would people think that?"

He shrugged "I don't know, I know some people saw you guys at the carnival this weekend. Maybe that's what started people talking"

I could feel the blood draining from my face. I never considered the possibility of other people seeing us. How much did they see? Oh my gosh what if word spreads to Trish? She wouldn't let it go until I confessed everything, and then she would kill me for keeping such a secret from her. I felt like I was going to puke.

My thoughts were interrupted by Dallas" so you two are not a couple"

I shook my head so hard and fast I swore I would get whiplash" Definitely not"

He smiles "Good"

Good? What did he mean by 'good'? Unfortunately he doesn't elaborate. We were quiet for a full minute. I had to break the tension.

. "Do you have plans with your girlfriend?"

"Well, we did," he said and sighed. "But we broke up on Saturday, so those plans are now dead."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

But I wasn't. Inside, I felt kind of ecstatic and overjoyed. I hated feeling so happy over this

"Me, too." There was a momentary pause on the verge of being awkward, and then he said, "I think we have all of these sorted. Are you ready to start delivering?"

"I'm ready, but not very willing." I pointed to a large vase of assorted flowers. "Look at this. I would wager money that some girl sent this to herself so that she'd look good in front of her friends. How sad is that?" it's so vain.

"I don't know. I think Valentine's Day is more about feeling special," he said, plucking a flower from the large vase. "I think every girl deserves to feel special once in a while. Even you, Ally." He reached over and tucked the flower's stem behind my ear.

I felt my face turn pink as his fingers brushed past my cheek. I can't believe I'm spending Valentine's Day with Dallas. Perfect, amazing, dreamy Dallas.

Maybe Valentine's Day could be Duff-friendly after all.

"Come on," he said. "Grab that pile and we'll start passing these out."

"Uh… okay."

We might have been done delivering by the end of the hour. But the secretary kept bringing more and more packages to the table. It became very clear to Dallas and me that we'd be working until at least lunch.

Not that I minded spending the morning with Dallas.

"I don't want to jinx it," he said as we returned to the table, only five minutes before the lunch bell. "But I think we might actually be done."

We reached the empty table and exchanged smiles, though mine was halfhearted. "That's it," I said. "That was the last of them."

"Yep." Dallas leaned against the table. "You know, I'm glad they forced you to help. I would have been bored out of my mind if I'd done this by myself. It was fun talking to you."

"I had fun, too," I said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.

"Listen," he said. "You shouldn't sit in the back of the room in class. Why don't you take one of the desks next to me? There's no reason for you to be alone back there. I think you should join us-the nerds in the front of the room."

"I might." And, obviously, I knew I would. How could I refuse such a request from Dallas?

"Ally Dawson?" The secretary rounded the corner and approached us. There were no flowers or candy boxes in her hands this time. "Ally, there's someone here to sign you out."

"Oh," I said. "Um, okay." Weird. I had a car. There was no reason for me to be checked out.

"See you later, Ally," Dallas called as I followed the secretary toward the front desk. "Happy Valentine's Day."

I waved just before turning the corner, trying to remember whether or not I had a doctor's appointment that day or something. Why was I being checked out of school? But before my mind could invent any family tragedies, the answer hit me like a ton of bricks, and I stopped dead in my tracks.

No way! I had to have been seeing things

She stood at the front desk, looking like a mirage or a hallucination. I had to blink a few times to make sure she wasn't. Her Chestnut brown hair, was identical to mine, and fell around her shoulders in gentle, perfect waves. She was dressed relatively normal but the long layers were definitely not appropriate for the Miami weather. Dark sunglasses covered her eyes-eyes that I knew matched mine. She lifted the sunglasses as she turned to face me.

"Hi, Ally," the beautiful woman said.

"Hi, Mom."

 **The best Valentines you guys could give me would be a review! Til' next time!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! I know a few of you were disappointed in the way Austin behaved in the last chapter, I understand. The character in the book that Austin is based on is a jerk for a lot of the story. That's part of the reason why I wrote the carnival chapter so you can see that Austin is not all jerk. He will kind of teeter totter between being a sweet guy and a jerk, but don't worry that won't last long and you'll see the sweet Austin on a more consistent basis really soon.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

I could tell she was nervous by the way she stepped toward me. She looked shaky, and her eyes were wide with, from what I could guess, fear. For good reason, too. Unlike my father, who I knew was in deep denial, I on the other hand knew she'd meant to send those divorce papers, and I was starting to hate her for it. For not warning either of us. For not tossing us way like we were garbage and not her actual family. I shot her a warning glare and moved away when she approached me. This must have confirmed her worries, because her glance sank to the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"I've missed you, Ally," my mother said.

"Sure you have."

"Did you finish signing her out, Mrs. Dawson?" the secretary asked, returning to her chair behind the tall desk.

"Yes, I did," Mom said. Her voice found its smooth, natural tone again. "So are we free to go, warden?"

"You're released," the secretary laughed. She fluffed her hair and added, "And I wanted you to know, I bought a copy of your book. It was amazing I loved reading about your adventures with wildlife. I read it all the time."

Mom smiled. "Oh, thank you! Glad to meet one of the ten people who've actually read it."

The secretary beamed at her. "It was a real page turner."

I rolled my eyes. I hated acting like a bratty teenager but I couldn't help it, my emotions were on overload. I didn't know if I should have yelled at her or dropped to my knees and cried til my eyes were dried out.

Everyone loved my mother. She was funny, intelligent, and gorgeous. She looked a lot like that actress from that one movie everyone loved but could never remember the name of. She was as far from being the Duff as you could possibly get. All of her flaws were hidden behind that pretty face, and her smile could deceive people into believing she was perfect. The secretary, who giggled and waved as Mom led me out of the school, was just another fool.

"Where exactly are we going?" I didn't bother to shield her from my bitterness. She deserved it.

"Um… I don't know," Mom admitted. Her shoes echoing on the smooth pavement as she walked. The sound stopped when we reached her car, a silver Volkswagen that looked like it had been lived in for a few days. I knew it must have been a rental since she sold her old car before she left. "Somewhere with air-conditioning?" She was trying to sound perky. "It is so hot here I bet I could fry an egg if I cracked it on the sidewalk."

"Well maybe if you actually spent some time here you could have dressed appropriately and you wouldn't have that problem" I yanked open the passenger's side door and pushed some junk out of the seat before sliding in. "Sorry, your body isn't accustomed to the Miami weather, The climate in Africa is much different the it is here" I said with complete venom in my voice

"Oh, Africa isn't all it's cracked up to be," Mom said. She looked tense as she got into the car, and her bubbly laugh was clearly nervous, not a drop of humor in it. "It's not as fun as the brochures make it look, you know?"

"Really? That's weird. You seem to like it better than Miami. But then again, you like to be anywhere but here, don't you?"

The laughter died, and the car became silent. Mom started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Finally, with all of her veils shredded, she whispered, "Ally, we have to talk about this. I don't think you understand what I'm going through right now."

"Yeah, it looks tough, Mom," I snapped. "I know Africa must have been a real hellhole. How did you manage?"

"Ally Edgar Dawson, I won't take that attitude from you!" she shouted. "Despite what you think of me right now, I am still your mother, and I deserve a certain amount of respect."

I hate when she says my middle name. Why on earth did not parents decide to give me a boy middle name?

"Really?" I snorted. "Like the respect you showed Dad by sending divorce papers without warning him? Or me! Really mom, what the hell is the matter with you?"

More silence.

I knew this would get us nowhere. I knew I should listen to her, consider her side, and share my feelings reasonably. I'd seen enough Dr. Phil to know we needed to compromise, but I didn't want to. Selfish, childish, immature… I might have been all of those things, but my father's face, the empty beer bottles I had to clean up and the stupid divorce papers just kept popping into my mind. Listen? Consider? Be reasonable? How were those even options? She was just as childish and selfish as me. The only difference was that she hid it better.

Mom let out a slow breath before pulling the car over to the side of the road. She shut off the engine without saying a word, and I stared out my window while seconds ticked by. The only sound in the car was our breathing. Mom gave short, hesitant gasps, as if she were on the verge of speaking but changed her mind before the first word could escape her lips. I waited.

"Ally," she said eventually. We'd been quiet for at least five minutes. "I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so… so sorry."

I didn't say anything.

"I didn't want it to end like this." The way her voice cracked made me wonder if she was crying, but I didn't turn my head. "I haven't been happy for a long time, and after your grandma died, your dad suggested I take a trip to work on a new book. I thought it might help. Like I'd escape for a little while, do a little research that I could create a book around, then come back and everything would be better. Go back to how it used to be when your dad and I first got married. But…"

Her long, thin fingers trembled as they closed around my hand. Reluctantly, I faced her. There were no tears on her cheeks, but I could see a misty glitter in her eyes. The dam just hadn't broken yet.

"But I was wrong," she said. "I thought I could escape from my problems, but I was so wrong, Ally. No matter where you go or what you do to distract yourself, reality catches up with you eventually. I put off coming back for so long that before I knew it, I had let over a year go by and I realized I had to stop running and face what I've been dreading for a long time.

"Face what?"

"That I don't want to be with your dad anymore." She looked down at our hands, still twined together. "I love your dad very much, but I'm not in love with him… not the way he's in love with me. I know its cliché, but it's true. I can't keep lying and pretending things are okay with us. I'm sorry."

"So you want a divorce?"

"Yes."

I sighed and looked out the window again. It was getting dark.

"You'll have to tell Dad," I said. "He thinks it was a mistake. He doesn't think you… you could ever do that to us."

"Do you hate me?"

"No." I didn't

The answer didn't really surprise me, even though the word just kind of flew out automatically. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to hate her for Dad. For the pain I knew she was causing him. For that night he'd relapsed.

But it hit me then. She didn't cause that relapse. I could blame her all I wanted, but that wouldn't do any good. She had to take responsibility for her own life, and Dad had to do the same. By staying married, letting things go on the way they had it was clear to me now that they both been living in denial.

My mother was finally facing reality. Dad would have to face it, too.

"I don't hate you, Mom."

* * *

We'd spent the afternoon just driving around Miami and talking about all that she'd missed. The same way we did every time she came back from a trip. Only this time, she wouldn't be coming home. At least not to stay.

"I'm gonna go see your dad now… I guess," Mom said. "Maybe you should spend the night with Trish, honey. I just don't know how he'll react… That's a lie. I do know how he'll react, and it won't be good."

I nodded, hoping she was wrong-though our definitions of not good were different. I hadn't mentioned his relapse to her, mostly since it had passed without any significant drama. She was afraid of tears and yelling-the things that should be expected with a confrontation of this kind. I didn't want to make her worry about the drinking, too. Especially since it hadn't really been that big a deal in the end.

"I feel horrible. I'm telling my husband I want a divorce on Valentine's Day. I'm such a… a bitch. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow and-"

"You have to tell him, Mom. If you put it off now, you'll never do it." I unfastened my seat belt. "I'll call Trish and see if I can stay with her. You should go now… before it gets too late."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, I will."

I opened the door of the car and climbed out. "It'll be fine."

Mom shook her head and fiddled with the keys dangling from the ignition. "You shouldn't have to be the grown-up," she murmured. "I'm the mother. I should be comforting you, telling you it will be okay. This is so dysfunctional."

"Functionality is overrated." I gave her a reassuring smile. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Mom. Good luck."

"Thanks," she sighed. "I love you, Ally."

"I love you, too mom."

"Bye, baby."

I shut the door and stepped away from the car. With my smile still firmly intact, I waved and watched as the little red Mustang drifted out of the parking lot and turned onto the highway, where it hesitated as if debating whether or not to proceed. But my mother drove on. So I kept waving.

As soon as the taillights vanished, I allowed the smile to slip from my face. Yes, I knew things would be okay. Yes, I knew Mom was doing the right thing. Yes, I knew this was a step in the right direction for both my parents. But I knew Dad wouldn't see it that way… at least not at first. I only smiled to reassure mom and maybe even myself.

I pulled the car keys out of my back pocket and unlocked the door. After throwing my stuff onto the passenger's seat, I climbed inside and shut the door. For several minutes, I just sat in the silent car, trying not to think or worry about my parents.

That was impossible, of course.

I reached a hand into my purse and began sifting through the clutter of gum wrappers and pens. Finally, I located my cell phone. I pulled it out and paused with my thumb poised over the keypad. I didn't call Trish.

He did say if either one of us needed a distraction to call. If this wasn't a situation that I needed a distraction from I don't know what is

I waited through three rings before I got an answer.

"Hey. It's Ally. Um, are you still busy?"

* * *

"Are you kidding me?"

I gawked at the giant flat-screen, feeling my face get hot. Again? Seriously? That was the tenth time in a row Austin had beaten me since I'd arrived an hour earlier. I'd half expected to find some leggy blonde sneaking out of his bedroom when I walked up the steps, but the scene I found was quite different. Austin was playing some Zalien game. And even though I am not a huge fan I am always up for beating him at something so I challenged him.

I had to find something I could beat him at!

And you know, something about beating the crap out of these stupid Zaliens really made me feel better. Before I knew it, I wasn't even worried about Mom or Dad. Things would be okay. They had to be. I just had to be patient and let things happen. And in the meantime, I had to kick Austin's ass… or try, at least.

"I told you, I'm awesome at everything," he teased, putting the controller on the floor between us. "That includes video games."

I watched as the character Austin had been operating moved across the screen, doing some sort of odd Zalien victory dance. "Not fair," I muttered. "Your sword was bigger than mine."

"My sword is bigger than everyone's."

I threw my controller at his head, but of course he ducked and made me miss. Damn it. "Asshole."

"Oh, come on," he laughed. "You walked right into that one, Duffy."

I scowled at him for a moment, but I could feel the aggravation slipping away. Finally, I just shook my head… and smiled. "Okay, you're right. I did leave that one wide open. But you know, boys that talk big never are."

Austin frowned. "We both know that isn't true. I've proved it to you plenty of times." He smirked, then leaned against me, letting his lips brush against my ear. "But I can prove it again if you want me to… and you know you want me to."

"I… I don't think that's necessary," I managed. His lips were moving down my neck, sending an electric current up my spine.

"Oh," he growled playfully. "I do."

I laughed as he shoved me to the floor, one of his hands perfectly catching the space above my left hip where I was most ticklish. He must have discovered that when he tickled me at the carnival. I hated myself for letting him use it against me. Now he could make me squirm and laugh uncontrollably whenever he wanted, and I could tell that he totally got off on it. Jerk.

His fingers probed the sensitive spot over my hip as his mouth moved from my collarbone to my ear. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Not fair. So not fair. I made a halfhearted attempt to kick him away, but he trapped my leg between his and proceeded to tickle me harder.

Just when I thought I might pass out from lack of oxygen, I felt something vibrate in my back pocket. "Stop, stop!" I cried, shoving Austin away. He rolled off me, and I stumbled to my feet, trying to catch my breath, and took my phone out of my pocket. I expected it to be Mom, letting me know how things had gone with Dad-putting any worries I might still have at ease-but when I glanced at the ID, my stomach lurched.

"It's Trish." I looked down at Austin, still lying on the floor, his hands tucked behind his head. He was smiling like he didn't have a care in the world. I knew he liked seeing me flustered like that, hell he said he found it sexy just this past weekend. I wondered if he was serous when he said that and was he thinking it right now?

"You gonna get that?" he said bringing me out of my thoughts and back to the ringing phone. He was wearing that smile I saw Saturday when dropped me off. It was easygoing and happy, he actually looked kind of cute. I wish I could see that smile more rather than his arrogant smirk.

I just nodded and answered the phone but not before threatening him to not say a word

"Hello?"

"Hey." She sounded pissed. "What the hell happened to you tonight? Cassidy said the three of us were meeting for Valentine's Day, but you never showed."

"Sorry," I said. "Something came up."

"Ally, you've been saying that a lot lately. Something is always coming up or you have plans or…"

My eyes glanced toward Austin who was now looking through my purse, trying to find something to occupy himself with. His eye widen with excitement with what he found. My songbook! My eyes must have had fear in them because a devious grin takes over his features and he starts to read my book

"… and Cassidy had her hopes up that we'd do something fun…"

I couldn't focus on a word Trish said and I couldn't stop myself from squirming as I saw Austin carelessly flip through the pages of my book. He knew how protective I was of my book but he also knew there was nothing I could do to stop him. I couldn't tell him to stop or show any reaction at all. If I did, Trish would know I wasn't alone.

"… I just don't understand what's up with you."

I bit my lip to keep from screaming as Austin licked his fingers and turned another page. He had an evil smile on his lips knowing he was torturing me, but suddenly his smirk was gone as he began to actually read whatever was on the page looking actually interested. What was he reading? Oh my gosh I hope it wasn't anything about Dallas

"Ally, are you there?"

I was now across the room trying to get the book out of Austin's hands while I held the phone between my head and shoulder. It still didn't help me as he just held the book over my head and continued reading, I hated how all he was and I hated how I had no clue what he was reading. I had to put and to this

"Trish, I have to go."

"What? Als, I-"

I clicked the phone off and tackled Austin to the floor. We were now on the ground and we both looked at each other and our eyes locked. That's when I realized how close we were, I was basically straddling him. There was something in his eyes, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"Um Ally?"

"Yeah?"

"Your knee is in my crouch"

"Oh sorry" I blushed as I rolled off him. He sat him from the floor and ran a hand through his hair that's when I remember how we got in that position to begin with and punched his arm. Hard.

"Ow. What the hell was that for?" He ask rubbing where I hit him

"You read my book, you son of a-"

"Hey," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "You said not to say anything. You didn't say I couldn't-"

"What were you reading?" I interrupt him dying to know what saw in my book

""Um" he was rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly "I was just reading one of your songs it was called 'Upside Down"

My jaw dropped I never shared my songs with anyone. My face was red with embarrassment and then it was red with anger. How dare him!

"You had absolutely no right to invade my privacy like that and read my personal-"

"I really liked it "he said interrupting my tirade

"What?" I ask a little shocked

"I really liked your song, you're a great writer"

"Um, thank you" this was crazy was Austin the asshole actually complimenting me?

"Your welcome"

It was silent for a while until a beep from my phone signaling that I had a text finally broke the silence. I hesitantly answered expecting it to be Trish giving me a piece of her mind for hanging up on her. I was surprised to see it was from my mom.

 _Hey sweetie, still talking with your dad. I'll tell you about it later. I was wondering if you cold ask Trish if you could spend the night there. I just don't think you should come back to the house right now._

I reread the message probably ten times analyzing every single detail. Why was she still talking to dad? why did she want me to spend the night at Trish's? Why shouldn't I go back to the house?

"Ally, are you okay?" Austin said bringing my attention to him. His eyes were filled with concern, I could get lost in his chocolate covered orbs.

"Yeah it's just" I really didn't want to tell him what was going on and I definitely didn't want to go to Trish's house right now because I was about 110% sure she was furious at me

"I'm fine I just wondered if I was ok if I stayed the night"

Austin's face went from concerned to devious in a flash "You want to spend the night here? With me?" I can't really blame you "

I rolled my eyes "If you're going to be a jackass about this I'll just-"

"Chill out, Ally. I was just teasing you, of course you can stay here" he says giving me an easy smile

To say I was shocked from the sincerity in his voice would be an understatement.

"Really? You aren't busy with a bunch of women since today is 'the day of love' "I say using air quotes

"I didn't see any girls today."

"But-but you said"

"I know what I said" he said standing up "Believe me I got plenty of offers. I just wasn't feeling up to it"

"Since when are you not up for sleeping with anything that moves?"

He shrugged "I just didn't want to. Plus I had much more fun beating you ass at videos games" he finished with a cocky grin.

"Oh yeah?"

I dove for my abandoned video game controller and clicked the button that would restart the match, determined to teach him a lesson. I'd already gotten in a few good blows before Austin was able to retrieve his own controller and fight back.

"And you accuse me of being a cheater," he said, blocking the punch Zalien threw at him.

"Well, you deserve it," I snapped, furiously tapping attack buttons.

It didn't matter. Even with my dramatic head start, he still beat me. Damn it.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Duffy." Austin turned to grin at me, his brown eyes sparkling with cocky triumph.

Why did he have to say that? I wondered as my thoughts drifted back to my parents. Had Mom broken the news to Dad yet? Were they fighting? Or crying?

"Ally."

I realized I'd been biting my lip a little too hard as the metallic taste of blood touched the tip of my tongue. I blinked at Austin, who was watching me closely. He stared at me for a long moment, that concerned look was in his eyes again, but instead of asking me what was wrong or if I'd be okay, he picked up his controller again. "Come on," he said. "I'll take it easy on you this time."

I forced a smile. Everything would work itself out. It had to. "Don't be stupid," I told Austin. "I'm going to kick your ass this time. I've just been holding back."

He laughed, knowing I was full of it. "We'll see about that."

And we started another game.

 **I don't think I say this enough but THANK YOU! for all the reviews and love you give this story. I really appreciate it. Kody Keplinger (author of The Duff) kind of had a playlist for the book with songs she thought best fit the story or reminds her of a character. I was thinking about doing the same thing, making a list of songs I think fit the story and Austin and Ally's relationship. Currently I have:** _ **Flashlight by Jessie J,**_ _ **Upside Down by Ross Lynch**_ **,** _ **"I Won't Say I'm In Love" from Disney's**_ _ **Hercules, If Only by Dove Cameron, Perfect by Pink**_ **and I kind of like the song** _ **Breathe by Michelle Branch**_ **for this story. Some of the songs don't make sense now but they will as the story grows. As I continue to write I'll try and update the playlist and feel free to suggest any other songs you think should make the list.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own the Duff or Austin and Ally**

 **Enjoy**

 _Well you can tell everybody  
Yeah you can tell everybody  
Go ahead and tell everybody  
I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man  
Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am  
I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man_

That is the first thing I hear when I wake up. What the hell is that? I opened my eyes briefly to see that it is Austin's phone alarm. Of course Austin would have that song programmed to wake him up; I normally love that song but could he have picked a more narcissistic song to have set as his alarm?

When I try to move I can't and I soon realize that one of Austin's arms is tightly wrapped around my waist and I am using the other as a pillow for my head. How did that happen? I'm pretty sure when we fell asleep last night we were on opposite sides of his bed. I even threatened him to keep his hands to himself, so how did we end up cuddled up to each other. And why did I not hate It.?

Next thing I know Austin removes his arm from my head and rolls over to silence his obnoxious alarm. I silently pout at the loss of warmth not only from the lack of body temperature but also from him taking most of the sheets with him. Asshole! After he shuts his alarm off he sits up, stretches his arms and yawns. I couldn't help but notice his body, my eyes traveled down from his perfectly messy bedhead to his perfect abs and even _lower._ I guess it's true what they say about boys and the morning. Unfortunately he catches me ogling

"Like what you see?" he says with a smirk

"No!" I say half embarrassed he caught me and half insulted at his cockiness

"Sure you don't" he says sarcastically

Steam was coming out of my ears now "You know what Austin I hate you, you can go and take you cocky attitude and shove it right up-"

I was interrupted by him crashing his lips onto mine. I always hated when he would kiss me just shut me up. I hated even more that it always worked. My hands were in his hair while his traveled lower to grip my waist. His tongue licked the bottom of my lip, asking for permission which I more than willingly gave. Right when things look like they were going to progress to something we both wanted, my phone started ringing

"Damnit" I say pulling away from him. He had a smug smirk on his face, clearly proud of himself and what he can do to me. I wanted nothing more than to smack his dumb gorgeous face

I hesitantly reached over and picked my cell phone up off the nightstand, glancing at the time before I answered.

7:10.

"Hello?" I say not even trying to hide my bitterness from whoever just cock blocked me

"Sorry to wake you up, honey," Mom said through the speaker. "I didn't wake Trish up too, did I?"

"Mm-mm. You're fine. What's up?"

"I left the house about two hours ago," she said. "Your dad and I had a long talk, but… he didn't handle it very well, Ally. I knew he wouldn't. Anyway, I've just been driving around since then, trying to figure out what to do next. I've decided to check into a hotel in Miami for a few days so that I can spend more time with you, and this weekend I'm gonna start moving down to Orlando. Your granddad needs someone to look after him. It'll be a nice place to settle down and it's not too far from you. Don't you think?"

"Sure," I murmured, not completely invested in the conversation due to Austin nibbling at my ear and placing kisses down my neck. What is it with him and distracting me during phone calls?

"I'm sorry," Mom said. "I should have told you all this later. Go back to sleep. Call me when you get out of school, and I'll tell you which hotel I'm in. Maybe we can go see a movie tonight?"

"Sounds good. Bye, Mom."

"Bye, baby."

I put my phone back on the nightstand and push Austin off me. "You have issues" I say

"The only issue I have is that I can't get enough of you" he says with his hand now behind his head

I roll my eyes but can't contain the blush I feel on my cheeks as I get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Austin asked in a semi-sleepy voice.

"Home." I pulled on my jeans. "I've got to take a shower and get ready for school."

He pushed himself up on one elbow to look at me. His hair was still a mess, his blonde hair sticking up in different directions. "You can shower here," he offered. "I might even join you if you're lucky."

"No, thanks." I grabbed my jacket off the floor and slung it over my shoulders. "Will I wake your parents up if I go out the front door?"

"That would be difficult considering they're not here."

"They didn't come home last night?"

"They won't be home for a week," Austin said causally. "And who knows how long they'll stay then. A day. Maybe two."

Now that I thought about it, I'd never seen another car in the driveway. Austin always seemed to be the only one here when I came over-which was practically every other days. "Where are they?"

"I don't remember." He shrugged and rolled onto his back again. "Business trip. Hawaiian vacation. I can never keep up with them."

"Wait a minute don't you have a sister? What about her?"

"Amy stays with our grandmother when my parents are out of town," he said. "Which is essentially all the time."

Slowly I moved back to the bed. "So," I said quietly, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "Why don't you stay there, too? I bet your sister would like having you around."

"She might," Austin agreed. "My grandmother, however, is a different story. She hates me. She doesn't approve of my"-he made air quotes-"lifestyle. Apparently I'm a disgrace to the Moon name, and my father ought to be ashamed of me." His laugh was hollow and cold, clearly fake. "Because he and my mother are the staple of perfection, you know."

"How does your grandmother know about your, uh, lifestyle?"

"She hears the gossip from her friends. These grandmas who hear their granddaughters swooning over me-and who can blame them?-and then they tell my grandmother all about it. She might actually like me if I'd date a girl seriously for a while, but part of me just doesn't want to give her the satisfaction. I shouldn't have to change my life to suit her or anyone else."

"I understand what you mean." And I did. Because I'd had that same thought a million times over the years. Recently, it had even pertained to him. It would be easy to change Austin's opinion of me, to hang out with different people or bring another girl into my circle of friends, to avoid being the Duff. But why should I do anything just to fix what he or anyone else thought about me? I shouldn't have to.

And neither should he.

Somehow, though, his situation felt different. I glanced around the room, feeling stupid and guilty for even comparing it to the Duff issue. Then, without meaning to, I found myself asking, "But don't you get lonely? In this big house by yourself."

Oh my gosh. Was I actually feeling sorry for Austin? Austin the womanizer? Filthy-rich Austin? Austin the jackass? Of all the emotions I'd felt for him, sympathy had never come up. What was going on?

But if there was anything I could relate to, it was family drama. So it seemed like Austin and I had another thing in common. Ugh.

"You forget how rarely I'm alone." He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked at me with a smirk. It didn't touch his eyes, though. I could tell it was fake, it was kind of scary how good I was getting at reading him and knowing when he was honest."

I bit my lip, not sure if I should say what was on my mind. Finally, I decided I might as well throw it out there. It wouldn't do any harm, after all. "Listen, Austin, this may sound weird coming from me, since I hate you and all, but you can tell me stuff if you want." It sounded just as cheesy and corny as I thought it would. "I mean, I vented about Jack to you, so if you want to do the same,… well, I'm cool with that."

The smirk slipped for a second. "I'll keep that in mind." Then he cleared his throat and added stiffly, "Didn't you say that you needed to go home? We wouldn't want perfect Ally Dawson late for school now would we?"

"Right."

I started to stand, but his warm hand closed around my wrist. I turned around and found him looking at me. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. Before I even realized what was happening, he pulled away and whispered, "Thank you, Ally."

"Um… no problem."

I didn't know what to make of it. Every other time Austin and I had kissed, it had been a fierce, warlike make-out. A lead-in to sex. He'd never kissed me in such a gentle, greedless way, and I don't know how I feel about it.

But I didn't have time to think about it as I ran down the stairs and through the foyer. Once I was in my car, I had to speed-which I really, really hate to do-all the way to my house, I only had an hour to shower, get dressed, and check on Dad before school started. What a fantastic way to start the morning.

Even better was the fact that I could tell the living room lights were on when I pulled into my driveway. Not a good sign. Dad always-always- turned out every light in the house before bed. He treated it like a ritual. The fact that he'd left them on was definitely a bad omen.

I heard the snoring as soon as I tiptoed inside and instantly knew he'd bought more beer. Even before I saw the bottles on the coffee table or his unconscious form on the couch, I knew.

He'd gotten drunk enough to pass out.

I started to move forward but stopped myself. As much as I might want to, I didn't have time to clean up Dad's mess. I needed to go upstairs. I needed to go to school. And as I crept up to my bedroom, I told myself that he would be fine. He was just shocked, it would be fine, and this… episode would pass without incident. I could hardly hold a few drinks against the guy, considering the bombshell Mom dropped on him, could I?

I took a quick shower and blow-dried my hair before putting on some fresh clothes. After I brushed my teeth, I headed downstairs again and went into the kitchen to grab an apple for the road. Then I took off, out the front door.

By the time I got to school, the student parking lot was almost full. I had to park in the very back row and jog-with my twenty-pound backpack-to the double doors. Of course that left me out of breath by the time I made it into the main hallway.

"Hey, where'd you go yesterday?" Cassidy asked when I slumped into my desk only seconds before the bell rang. "You weren't at lunch or in English. Trish and I were kind of worried."

"I left school early."

"I thought the three of us were gonna have a Valentine's Day thing to celebrate that we're all single."

"I'm sorry, Cassidy. Something came up yesterday. I'll tell you about it after school, okay?"

Before she could say anything, Mrs. Diaz cleared her throat and shouted, "Silencio! Buenos días, amigos. Today we're going to get started on the present progressive tense, and I'll warn you now that it's pretty darn difficult."

And it was. Mrs. Diaz passed out a worksheet that kept us all busy until the end of the block. By the time the bell rang, I was really starting to question my affection for Spanish class, and I wasn't alone.

"Is it too late to switch classes for the semester?" Kira asked Piper and me when we walked out of the classroom.

"About a month too late," I told her.

"Damn it."

"Bye, Ally!" Cassidy called as they ran toward their chemistry class. "See you at lunch!"

I waved and started walking down the other hallway. Today, though, I was actually looking forward to history. Dallas had asked me to sit near him. I wouldn't be the lonely girl in the back of the room anymore. I'd never thought that would change or that I would be so happy when it did. What can I say? The self-imposed isolation was finally beginning to bug me.

But Dallas wasn't there. His seat was completely, one hundred percent empty when I walked into the classroom, and my heart kind of sank a little bit… or, you know, a lot. At least I didn't have to sit alone. I wasn't the only one who missed Dallas, the teacher seemed to get bored with his own uninterrupted lecture, and he dismissed the class only halfheartedly when the bell rang, his lower lip sticking out like a toddler's.

And they say teachers don't play favorites.

I was relieved to be out of that classroom, until I got into the cafeteria.

The lunch table wasn't exactly a warm, loving environment that afternoon. Trish glared at me all through lunch, obviously pissed that I'd hung up on her the night before. But apparently not pissed enough to skip out on meeting Cassidy and me after school to hear my excuses.

I'd promised to explain things after class. Of course, that meant the second the last bell sounded, they dragged me into an empty bathroom and started making demands like "Spill!" and "Out with it!" It felt like I was on trial and Trish and Cassidy were judge and jury.

I groaned and slid down the cold concrete wall to land in a sitting position on the floor. I hugged my knees loosely and said, "Okay, okay. So Mom showed up here yesterday afternoon."

"Is she back from her research trip?" Cassidy asked.

"Not exactly. She just came to talk to me. She and Dad are getting a divorce."

Cassidy clapped a hand over her mouth in shock, and Trish knelt down beside me, her face now softened and took my hand. "You okay, Als?" she asked, abandoning her anger toward me.

"I'm fine," I said. I knew they'd be more upset about it than I , whose parents had gone through a long, bitter divorce, and Cassidy, who could never imagine something so upsetting and unhappy.

"Is that why you skipped out on Valentine's Day last night?" Cassidy asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry. I just… didn't really feel like celebrating."

"You should have called," Trish said. "Or said something to me on the phone last night. I would have listened, you know."

"I know. But really, I'm fine. It was just a matter of time. I've been expecting it for a while now." I shrugged. "And, honestly, it doesn't really bother me. I mean, you know Mom hasn't been around much in the past few years, so it really won't change that much. But she's only in town a few days, she is moving down o Orlando soon, which is why I need to be going right now." I stood up.

"Where are you going?" Trish asked.

"I told Mom we'd see a movie together this afternoon." I grabbed my backpack and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. "Sorry. I know you guys want to talk about it or whatever, but Mom's leaving at the end of the week, so…"

"You sure you're okay?" Trish asked skeptically.

I hesitated, my hand raised to brush some Chestnut brown waves from my face. I could have told them then. I could have told them about Dad and the beer bottles and how confused I was. They were my best friends, after all. They cared about me.

But if I ratted Dad out, what would happen? What if word spread? What would people think of him then? I couldn't handle that. Even the thought of my best friends judging him made me uncomfortable. He was my dad, after all. And this was a small thing. He was just going through a rough patch. Nothing to worry about.

"Positive," I said, turning away from the mirror with a forced smile. "But I should get going. I don't want Mom to wait."

"Have fun," Cassidy murmured, her eyes still wide with innocent shock. Maybe I should have given her the news a little more gently.

I was almost out the bathroom door when Trish called after me. "Hey, Ally, wait a sec."

"Yeah?"

"Let's go out this weekend," she said. "To make up for not hanging out on Valentine's Day. We could all go to the Beat. A Girls' Night Out. It'll be fun. We'll even buy you ice cream."

"Sure. I'll call you later, but I really have to go."

With a wave, I ran out of the bathroom. Yeah, I did want to see a movie with Mom, but that wasn't the reason for my hurry. There was something else I had to do first.

Once I made it to my car, I wasted no time in pulling out my cell phone. I dialed the familiar number and waited for the professional male voice to answer.

"You've reached Sonic Boom this is Christian. How may I assist you?" Christian was a guy who my dad hired to help him at the store since business boomed.

I wanted to talk to Dad. To make sure he was okay and let him know we'd get through this. Just, you know, be supportive. I knew he needed it. After the night he'd had, I knew he must be having a horrible day at work. Besides, if I was dealing with the news so well, I could at least help pull him through it. "Hey Christian," I said. "Is my dad available?"

"I'm afraid not. Mr. Dawson didn't come in today. I had to open the store myself"

I sat there, stunned for a minute, knowing what that meant. But I shook off the worries creeping into my stomach. He was just having a bad hangover after a rough night. Probably more than enough to remind him why he'd quit drinking in the first place. He'd be fine tomorrow.

I hoped.

"Thank you, anyway," I said. "Have a nice day."

I hung up the phone and started to dial another number. This time a woman with a clear, chirpy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom. Still want to go see a movie tonight?"

"Oh, hi, Ally!" Mom exclaimed. "Yeah, that sounds great. Listen, honey, have you talked to your dad today? Is he okay? He just got so upset last night, and he was crying when I left." By the way she spoke, I could tell she had no idea he'd relapsed, that he'd touched a bottle. If she did, her voice would have been much more strained, full of concern. Maybe even on the verge of panic. But she sounded calm. Only slightly worried. The fact that she was so blind really bothered me. I mean, he'd quit drinking almost eighteen years ago, but still. The thought should have crossed her mind.

But I didn't want to be the one to break the news to her.

"He's fine. I just got off the phone with him a second ago. He's going to be at work late tonight, so a movie works great for me."

"Oh, okay. I'm glad to hear that," Mom said. "What do you want to see? I don't even know what's in theaters right now."

"Me neither, but I was thinking a comedy would be good."

My life had enough drama

 **Good news and bad news. Good news: I am posting two chapters today. Bad news: I probably won't update again for a week or so. I'm going to be out of town for a bit and won't have access to my computer, but I hope these two chapters can hold you off.**


	15. Chapter 15

Dad wasn't better the next day.

Or the day after that.

He went back to work at the end of the week, but I was sure I wasn't the only one who noticed the hangovers he took with him. It seemed like there was always beer or whiskey lying around the house now. He was always passed out on the couch or locked in his room. And he never mentioned it to me. As if I didn't notice. Was I supposed to ignore it? Pretend this wasn't a problem?

I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell him to stop. To tell him he was making a huge mistake. But how? How does a seventeen-year-old convince her father that she knows what's best? If I tried to stop him, he might get defensive. He might think I'd abandoned him, too. He might get angry with me.

I felt powerless and useless and, more than anything, ashamed. I knew that, with Mom gone, it was my job to do something. I just didn't have a clue what that something was.

So in the weeks after Mom left for Orlando, I spent most of my time at home avoiding Dad. I'd never really seen him drunk in my life, so I didn't know what to expect. All I had to go on were the little bits of conversations I'd overheard as a kid. He'd been an angry person once. He had a temper. I couldn't imagine this coming from my father, but I didn't want to start anytime soon. So I stayed in my bedroom, and he stayed in his.

I just kept telling myself it would pass. In the meantime, I'd keep his little secret to myself. Lucky for me, Mom was gullible enough to believe me whenever I told her everything was fine over the phone, despite my less than awesome acting abilities.

Honestly, I thought hiding my secrets from Trish would be the hardest. She could always see right through me, after all. I tried avoiding her at first, ignoring her phone calls and making up excuses when she asked me to hang out. I never called her about that Girls' Night Out she'd suggested in the bathroom. I was sure she'd bombard me with questions the second she got me alone, so I always tried to use poor Cassidy as a buffer. But within a week, I got this strange feeling that Trish was steering clear of me.

She called less and less.

She stopped asking if I wanted to go to out on weekends.

She even switched seats with Carrie at lunch, putting herself all the way across the table-as far away from me as possible. Once or twice, I even caught her giving me dirty looks.

I wanted to know what her problem was, but I was scared to confront her. I knew that if we actually talked about it, I wouldn't be able to keep lying about Dad. Not to her. But it was his secret, his shame, not mine to tell. I wouldn't let anyone, not even Trish, and find out.

So I had to let her supreme weirdness slide for the time.

Austin was really the only thing getting me through those weeks. Some part of me was appalled but what could I say? I needed that escape-that high-more than ever, and he was always just a short drive away. Funny thing was, I wasn't always physical sometimes when I was too tired to do anything, he didn't get mad we would just do something else like play Monopoly (which of course he beat me at). We would watch movies, he even watched some Rom-coms with me on the one condition that they all had to star to Jennifer Lopez, and I think he has a crush on her. He even once gave me a shoulder rub when I was stressed out about school. I guess being _Austin and Ally_ had benefits.

"What would you do without me?" he asked one night. We were tangled in the silky sheets of his gigantic bed. My heart was still pounding as I came down from the high of what we'd just done, and he wasn't helping matters by putting his lips so close to my ear.

"Live a happy… happy life," I murmured. "I might even… be somewhat normal… if you weren't around."

He just chuckled while playing with my hair and nuzzling my neck .This was so weird. We do almost everything a normal couple does: go to the carnival, watch movies, and cuddle with each other. But we aren't a couple, but why do we act like one? And why does it feel kind of good?

"Ally?" he says softly breaking me out of my analysis of whatever we were.

"Yeah" I say

"Remember when you said, you wanted to go to MUNY?"

I nod "Yeah"

"Have you applied yet?" he ask with a curious expression

I sit up on the bed, his sheets-that I've become accustomed to- covering my chest "Not yet. Why?"

He sits up too and shrugs "I was just wondering. You know you have to provide something to prove your talent in music."

"I know" I say wondering where he was going with this

"So have you thought about what you want to submit?" he asks

"Austin, where are you going with this?" I ask uncomfortable with constant questioning

"'I'm just curious what your plans were. Have you considered sending them one of your songs?"

"I-I uh don't think I want to do that" I say stuttering like a fool. What was this 20 Questions?

"Why not?" his eyes were not staring into mine his chocolate orbs melting my heart. "You're really good"

I was blushing hard. "I wouldn't say I'm that good-"

"Yes you are "he says interrupting me his voice completely sincere

"Austin I've never shown my songs to anybody" I say "What if they hate it?"

"Ally" he begins talking to me like I was five-years old" I've read your songs. They are amazing and everyone knows I have incredible taste in everything" he finishes cockily

I roll my eyes but can't help but smile

"I-I don't know Austin what if-"

"Promise me" he interrupts his eyes staring into mine. Honestly I would say yes to anything he wanted if he looked at me like that.

I nodded "Okay"

"Pinky swear?" he said holding out his pinky

I snicker at his childish gesture "Really?" I ask

"Nothing more sacred then a pinky swear" he says

I roll my eyes but I wrap my pinky around his "I swear"

That night I submit my application to MUNY

Although I started to enjoy spending time with Austin, I couldn't deny things were getting way out of hand. It became painfully clear to me one Friday afternoon in English that something wasn't right.

Mrs. Gibson was passing out old papers she'd graded and chattering away about some Nora Roberts book she'd just finished-totally unaware that no one was listening to her-when she stopped at my desk. She gave me this big, goofy smile, like the smile of a proud grandmother. "Your essay was wonderful," she whispered to me. "Such an interesting take on Hester. You and Mr. Moon are an excellent team." Then she handed me a tan folder and patted my shoulder.

I opened the folder as she walked away, a little confused about what she'd said. Inside was a paper that I instantly recognized. Hester's Escape: An Analysis by Ally Dawson and Austin Moon. In the top-left corner, Mrs. Gibson had scribbled our grade in bright red ink. A ninety-eight. An A.

I couldn't help but beam at the paper. Had it really been only been two months since we'd written this in Austin's bedroom? Since the first time we'd slept together? It felt like decades had passed. Millennia even. I looked across the room at him, and my smile vanished.

He was talking to Chelsea Banks. No, not just talking. Talking just involves the vibration of vocal cords, and there was way more than that going on. His hand was on her knee. Her cheeks were getting red. He was giving her his cute, cocky grin.

No! Repulsive grin. Since when did I think that display of arrogance was cute? And what was this burning feeling I had in my chest?

I looked away as Chelsea started to play with her necklace, a definite sign of flirting.

Whore.

I shook myself, surprised and a little worried. What was wrong with me? Chelsea wasn't a whore. Chelsea was amazing, she was friendly, she was a volunteer, and she even recycled! The girl was just talking with a cute guy. We'd all done the same. And it wasn't as if Austin was taken or anything. It wasn't like he was committed to anyone.

Like me…

Oh my gosh! I thought, realizing what that burning sensation in my chest must mean. Oh no, I'm jealous. I'm seriously jealous! Oh, crap!

I decided I was sick. I had a fever or some undiscovered disease that severely impairing my mental stability, because there was no way in hell I'd be jealous that another girl was talking to Austin. _My Austin_. No! Snap out of it Ally this is in Austin's nature. The world might have actually stopped spinning if Austin didn't flirt with poor, naive girls. Why should I be jealous? That was ridiculous. So I must be sick. I had to be.

"Are you okay, Ally?" Cassidy asked. She swiveled around in her desk to look at me. "You look upset. Are you mad or something?"

"I'm fine." But my words came out through gritted teeth as I watched Chelsea giggle at something Austin whispered to her.

"Okay," Cassidy said. She was just as gullible as my mom. "Listen, Ally, I really think you should talk to Trish. She's kind of upset, and I think you two really need to have a heart-to-heart. Maybe today? After class?"

"Yeah… whatever." But I wasn't listening. I was too busy coming up with ways to disfigure Chelsea's stupid perfect little face.

I was going crazy. That had to be it.

I rushed out of class the second the bell rang. My head would explode if I had to hear Chelsea's girly, oh-I'm-so-happy-you're-flirting-with-me-Austin giggle one more time. So what if she was as thin as my pinkie and had boobs the size of basketballs! I bet she had an IQ of twenty-seven.

Stop it, I told myself. Chelsea has never done anything to me. I have no right to think those things about her… even if they were true.

I threw my stuff into my locker and ran toward the cafeteria, eager to escape the school building. I was so focused on not thinking about my jealousy that I didn't even see Dallas until I skidded to a stop about six inches from him.

"In a hurry?" he asked me.

"Sort of," I sighed. "Sorry for almost running into you."

"It's not a problem." He nervously played with his the bottom of his shirt. "But do you think you'd mind slowing down the pace? I'd like to talk to you."

I wasn't all that surprised. Dallas and I had kind of gotten to be friends over the past couple weeks. We mostly talked in History, but you know, that was a definite improvement. Actually, I'd even become somewhat comfortable around him. While my heart still fluttered a little when he walked into the room, I no longer worried about losing my voice.

"Sure." I said. At least it would give me something else to think about for a few minutes.

He smiled and fell into step with me. "Can you keep a secret?" he asked as we reached the cafeteria, where the student body congregated, waiting for the final bell that would dismiss them for the afternoon.

He had no idea "Most of the time. Why?"

"Do you remember when I missed school a few weeks ago? The day after Valentine's Day?"

"Uh-huh. I believe that was the worst day of Mr. Wallace's life," I said. "I thought the guy was going to cry when he realized no one was there to do most of his job for him."

Dallas laughed-but only a small laugh-and said, "I was skipping school… well, for an interview." He pulled a large envelope from the inside of his book bag and whispered, "I applied to Harvard. I just got my letter in the mail this morning."

"Why is that a secret?"

His cheeks went pink in the cutest possible way. "I don't want to be humiliated if I don't get in," he said.

"You'll get in."

"I don't know that."

"I do."

"I wish I had as much confidence in me as you do."

"Come on Dallas! Even if you didn't get in, there are a million other schools that would kill to have you. That doesn't matter, though, because I know you got in. Do yourself a favor and open the letter."

Dallas stopped in the middle of the cafeteria and smiled at me. "See," he said, "this is why I wanted you to be the one with me when I open it. I knew you'd be-"

I cut him off. "While I'm sure the next few words out of your mouth are going to be incredibly sweet, I'm one hundred percent aware that you're stalling. Open the letter, Dallas. Even a rejection is better than putting yourself through this hell. You'll feel better if you just read it."

"I know. I-"

"Now."

He ripped open the envelope, and I realized just how odd this was. He was coming to me with this very personal thing. For support. For encouragement. Back in January, I never would have imagined commanding Dallas to open his acceptance letter. I never would have imagined speaking to him, period.

My, oh my, how things can change.

In the best ways possible, of course.

He slid the paper from the torn envelope with shaking fingers and began to read. I watched his eyes scan the page and widen. Was that joy or heartbreak? Shock, maybe? Surprise that he got in or surprise that he hadn't?

"Well?"

"I… I was accepted." Dallas dropped the paper and let it float gracefully to the floor. "Ally, I got in!" He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me.

That was something else I never would have expected to happen back in January.

"I told you that you would," I said, returning the hug.

Over his shoulder, I spotted Trish and Cassidy walking across the cafeteria. They were looking at me as they moved through the crowd of students; they saw me wrapped in Dallas' arms. But for some reason the expressions on their faces didn't mirror the happiness I felt. Cassidy looked kind of sad, but Trish… well, she looked downright furious.

Why? What was going on with her? With both of them.

Dallas squeezed me before letting go and kneeling down to scoop up his fallen letter. "I can't believe it. My parents will never believe it."

I pulled my eyes away from my friends as they vanished behind a group of freshmen and turned my attention back to the beaming boy in front of me. "If they know you at all, Dallas, they'll totally believe it," I said. "We've all known that you're destined for great things for a long time. I mean, I've known for years."

Dallas looked surprised. "Years? But we really didn't start talking until just a few weeks ago."

"But we've had classes together since we were freshmen," I reminded him. "We didn't have to talk for me to know you were awesome." I grinned and clapped him on the back. "And you just proved me right." The bell rang, and I turned toward the doors that led to the student parking lot. "See you later, Dallas. Congratulations!"

"Yeah. Thanks, Ally."

As I walked to the double doors, I wondered if I'd said too much. Did I give myself away as a semi-stalker? I hoped not. The last thing I wanted was to scare the poor guy away after less than a month of actual human contact. That would really make me a loser.

I was about to push open the door that led to the student parking lot when a loud "Ahem" caught my attention. I turned around and saw Trish leaning against the school's nearly empty trophy case, her arms crossed over her chest. The way her eyes were narrowed annoyed me right away and had me on guard.

"What?" I asked.

She scowled and let her arms fall heavily to her sides. "Nothing," she grumbled. "Forget it!"

"Trish, what are you-?"

"Not now, Als, She turned around and started stomping away from me. "I have cheer practice."

My hands flew automatically to my hips. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded. "You sound like a total bitch." I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth

She stopped and looked over her shoulder at me. "I'm the bitch? You ignore me, and I'm the bitch? What the hell! Ally!" She shook her head. "Whatever. I'm not having this conversation right now. Not when we were supposed to have it ten minutes ago, like you told Cass we would. I guess you were too busy hanging all over that geek to-"

"Criticizing Dallas sounds pretty damn bitchy to me, Trish," I snapped. How dare her! She knew I liked him. She knew that having him pay any attention to me was a big deal! She knew, and yet she was giving me hell for it? "You're acting like a preppy cheerleader snob."

Her eyes flashed, and for a second it looked like she might pounce on me. I seriously thought I was going to get into an all-out, hair-pulling, reality-show girl fight with my best friend right in front of the parking lot doors. I loved Trish like a sister but there was no doubt in my mind she could kick my ass.

But she walked away. Not a word. Not even a sound. She just drifted toward the gymnasium, leaving me pissed and totally confused.

I'd fought with Trish before; it's bound to happen when you've been friends as long as we had. But this argument really unnerved me, mostly because I didn't know what her deal was. I stormed across the parking lot, trying to figure out what I could have done to deserve that drama. Clearly I'd set her off somehow.

And of course things just had to get better and better.

My car wouldn't start. I tried and tried again, but still got nothing. The battery was completely dead.

"Dammit!" I yelled, slamming my fist into the steering wheel. This was not what I needed. Hadn't my day been bad enough? Hadn't my life been bad enough? It was like nothing ever went right. "Shit! Damn! Hell! Start, you piece of-"

"Having car problems, Duffy?"

I paused mid-rant to glare at the offending shadow. I opened the door and told Austin, "My fucking car won't turn on." Then I saw the girl standing next to him.

Skinny. Big boobs. It wasn't Chelsea. This girl was cuter. She had a round, sweet face with curly brown hair that bounced around her shoulders and large brown eyes. Way prettier than me, of course. Probably some freshman who only had to take one look at Austin's sexy smile and pretty, shiny car before she put out. Again, that twinge of jealousy overpowered me. I really need to go to the doctor, I was clearly sick.

"Would you like me to give you a ride?" he asked.

"No," I said quickly. "I'll just call…" But who would I call? Mom was in Orlando. Dad was at work. Trish had cheer practice. Not that it mattered. She was pissed at me anyway, and she and Cassidy both relied on their parents-or me-to drive them around. Who would come get me?

"Come on, Duffy," Austin said, grinning at me. "You know you want to ride me." He faked cough "I mean ride _with_ me" I glared at him for his dirty joke and having the nerve to say it in front of his latest conquest. He bent down to look me in the eyes. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"That's okay." There was no way I was riding in the same car as Austin and his latest conquest. Nope. Not a chance.

"Don't be ridiculous. You can call someone later. There's no point staying in the parking lot until dark. I just have to drop Amy off, and then I can take you home."

Amy, I thought. So that's the bimbo's name.

Then something in the back of my mind clicked.

Oh my Gosh! Amy! Amy was his sister! I looked at the girl again, wondering how I'd missed it. Curly brown hair, dark brown eyes, very attractive. Duh. Besides the hair the resemblance was obvious. I was an unbelievable idiot

Austin reached past me and pulled my keys out of the ignition.

"Fine," I said, feeling significantly better. I snatched back my keys and dropped them into my purse. "Let me get my stuff." Once I had everything I needed, I locked the doors and followed Austin to his car, which was easy to spot since it was the only Porsche in the parking lot.

"Now, Duffy," Austin said as he climbed into the driver's seat. I slid into the back so that Amy, who was apparently the quiet type, could sit with her brother. "This means you'll actually have to admit that I do nice things for people on occasion."

"I never said you don't do nice things," I told him as I attempted to situate myself in the cramped backseat. For being such fancy cars, Porches had zero legroom. I had to sit sideways with my knees pulled up to my chest. So not comfortable. "You do. But only when it benefits you in some way."

Austin scoffed. "Did you hear that, Amy? Can you believe what she thinks of me?"

"I'm sure Amy knows what you're like."

Austin went silent.

Amy laughed but she seemed kind of nervous.

She didn't say much during the ride, though Austin made several attempts to coax her into our conversation. At first I wondered if maybe it was because of me, but it didn't take long to figure out that she was just shy. Completely unlike her brother. When we pulled into the driveway of the large, old-fashioned house, which I knew must belong to Austin's grandmother, Amy looked into the backseat and said quietly, "Bye. It was nice to meet you," before ducking out of the car.

"She's sweet," I said.

"She needs to break out of her shell." Austin sighed as he watched her hurry up to the front porch. Once she'd disappeared into the big house (it was no almost-mansion, but clearly his grandma had money, too), he looked back at me. "You can take the front seat if you want."

I nodded and got out of the car. I opened the passenger's door and eased myself into the seat Amy had just abandoned. Right around the time I got my seat belt fastened, I heard Austin let out a low groan. "What's your problem?" I asked, looking up. But I figured out the answer before he said a word.

A woman in her sixties had just come out of the house, and she was walking toward the car. Austin's grandma, no doubt. Austin's grandma who hated him. No wonder he looked like he wanted to hide. I felt a little anxious as I watched the woman, who was very well dressed in an expensive-looking salmon sweater and perfectly creased slacks, stride toward the car. She kind of looked like Candace Bergen

Austin rolled down his window when she got close enough to hear him. "Hi, Grandma. How are you?"

"Don't play with me, Austin Monica Moon" she said and I couldn't help but snicker at her mention of his middle name. Monica really? There glares promptly shut me up. She continued "I'm furious with you at the moment." But she didn't sound furious. Her voice was high-pitched and soft. Silky. She sounded like the sweetest old woman ever, but her words didn't fit the part.

"What did I do this time?" Austin asked with a sigh. "Wear the wrong shoes? Or is it that the car isn't clean enough today? What mild imperfection are you going to throw at me this afternoon?"

"I would suggest you refrain from using that tone with me," she said in the least intimidating voice imaginable. This would have been funny if Austin didn't look so unhappy. "Live your life how you like, but leave little Amy out of it."

"Amy? What did I do to Amy?"

"Honestly, Austin," his grandma said with a dramatic sigh. "Why don't you just let Amy take the bus? I don't approve of you driving her around with your"-she paused-"friends in the backseat." She looked across Austin, her eyes locking with mine for an instant before shifting back to her grandson. "I wouldn't want them to be a negative influence on your sister."

For a second I was confused. I was a straight-A student. I'd never been in any trouble in my life. Yet this woman thought I would somehow damage her precious granddaughter.

And then it hit me.

She thought I was one of Austin's tramps. She thought I was a slutty chick he screwed around with. Austin had told me that his grandmother disapproved of his "lifestyle." She hated the way he slept around. And seeing me in the backseat, she'd just assumed I was another floozy he'd picked up.

I looked away, staring out my window to avoid seeing the expression of disgust on the old woman's face. I felt hurt and angry.

Mostly because I knew it was true.

"That is none of your business," Austin growled. I'd never heard him sound so pissed before. "You have no right to disrespect my friend, and it certainly isn't your place to decide what I do with my own sister. You should know me well enough to know that I wouldn't do anything to harm her, despite what you've convinced her of. I'm not the monster you tell her I am, you know."

"I think I should drive Amy home from school after today."

"Go ahead," he said. "But you won't keep me away from her. She's my sister, and Mom and Dad will have a fit if I tell them that you're trying to break apart our family, Grandmother."

"I'm afraid your family is already broken, my dear."

There was a buzz, indicating that Austin had rolled his window back up, and the engine revved. I watched as the old woman walked back toward her house. Then, with squealing tires, Austin backed out of the driveway and sped down the street. I glanced over at him, worried and unsure of what to say. Luckily, he spoke first.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know she was coming outside. She shouldn't have treated you that way."

"It's okay," I said.

"No, it's not. She's a shrew."

"I gathered that much."

"And the worst part is that she's right."

"About what?" I asked.

"About our family," he said. "She's right. It is broken. It has been for a long time. Mom and Dad are always gone, and Grandma's managed to come between Amy and me."

"Amy still loves you."

"Maybe," he murmured. "But she thinks less of me. Grandma has her convinced that I'm some no-good son of a bitch. I've seen the way Amy looks at me now. She looks at me like she's sad. Like she's disappointed in me. She thinks I'm a horrible person."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have made the joke about you only doing nice things for… for benefits."

"It's fine." The car was slowing down a little. "Honestly, you're right. And Grandma is, too. I just never wanted Amy to see me that way."

I couldn't resist the urge to reach over to the gearshift and put my hand over Austin's. His skin was warm and soft, and I could feel his pulse throbbing steadily beneath my palm. I forgot about my stupid car and my fight with Trish. I just wanted him to smile again. Even that cocky grin would have worked. I hated that he was so hurt by the possibility of losing his sister's respect. I wanted to comfort him. I cared about him.

Oh my gosh. I actually cared?

 **The next chapter is kind of big plot wise but you'll have to wait for that. Also a few characters find out about Austin and Ally's relationship in the next two chapters. Any guesses? Until next time  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm back! I went to New York for a while and didn't have access to my computer. I had a blast! I saw the Lion King on Broadway and even spotted Raven Symone by Chelsea Market. I think I'm going to write a story where Austin and Ally are in New York. But I digress. Warning i want to remind you that this story is rated T for a reason and has some adult language and content. You've been warned! So if anyone gets offended please don't say anything mean**

 **I don't own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

I spent the ten minutes trying to make Austin feel better. And I tried everything, even some of my best jokes.

' _What did the banana give to the banana?'_

' _A banana!'_

But nothing! He didn't even try to make fun of my dorkiness. A couple of minutes later, Austin's car finally pulled into my driveway. I grabbed my stuff and reached for the door handle. "Thanks for the ride." A glance back over my shoulder showed me that Austin was still sulky. Well, hell! I'd do anything to see him smile again so, why not? "You can come inside if you want. My dad isn't home yet."

Austin look at shocked at my offer but soon grinned at me as he cut the engine. "You're a dirty-minded little girl, Duffy. It would appear that you're trying to corrupt me."

I roll my eyes but smile glad to see that the old Austin seemed to return "You're way past corruption,"

We got out of the car and walked up the driveway together. I dug the keys out of my purse and unlocked the front door, allowing Austin to walk inside ahead of me. I watched his eyes move around the living room, and I couldn't help feeling a little self-conscious. He must have been comparing the place to his almost-mansion. Obviously there was no comparison. I was biting my lip so hard out of nerves that I was sure I tasted blood.

"I like it," Austin finally said. He looked back at me. "It's cozy."

"That's nice for small, isn't it?"

"No. I'm serious. It's comfortable. My house is too big, even for four people, and since I'm the only one in it most of the time… I like yours better. Cozy, like I said."

"Thanks." I was flattered. Not that I cared what he thought, but…

"Where's your room?" he asked, winking at me.

"I knew that was coming. Now who's corrupting whom?" I took him by the elbow and led him up the stairs. "Right here." I gestured to the first door. "I warn you, it's about the size of a Happy Meals box."

He opened the door and peered inside. Then he looked back at me with that familiar smirk. "We'll have enough room."

"Enough room for what?"

Before I knew what was happening, Austin had grabbed me by the hips and was pushing me into my bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind us, spun me around, and slammed me against the wall, where he began kissing me so hard that I thought my head might pop off. I was surprised, but once that wore off, I joined in. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He tightened his grip on my waist and shoved my jeans down as low as they would go without unbuttoning. Then he slid his hands under the elastic band of my underwear and rubbed his fingers along my hot, tingling skin.

After a few minutes, he pulled his mouth away from mine. "Ally, can I ask you something?"

"No," I said quickly. "I am not giving you a blow job. Just the thought of it is disgusting and degrading and… No. Never. Ew"

"While that's a little disappointing," Austin said, "it's not what I was planning to ask you."

"Oh." I say my face completely red from embarrassment. "Well, then what?"

He took his hands out of my pants and placed them gently on my shoulders. "What are you escaping from now?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know your ex-boyfriend left town a while ago," he said. "But I can tell there is still something bothering you. As much as I'd like to believe it's just me-you can't get enough of me-I know there's more to it. What are you running from, Ally?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie."

"It's none of your business, okay?" I pushed him away from me and yanked my jeans back up where they belonged. Automatically, I knelt down by the pile of clean clothes at the foot of my bed and started folding them. "Let's just talk about something else."

Austin sat down on the floor beside me. "Fine," he said. I could tell he was using that I'll-be-patient-until-you-decide-to-tell-me voice. The one you use with little kids. Too bad for him. That would never happen. He was just my sex toy, after all, not my psychiatrist.

We talked about school while I folded my clothes. When they were all in neat stacks, I stood up and moved to sit on my bed.

"Aren't you going to put them away?" Austin asked.

"No," I said.

"Then what was the point in folding them?"

I sighed and stretched out on my back, kicking off my shoes. "I don't know," I admitted, resting my head on the pillow and staring at the ceiling. "I guess it's a habit or whatever. I fold the clothes every night, and it makes me feel better. It's relaxing and it clears my head. Then the next morning, I dig through the stacks for what I'm gonna wear, and they all get messed up, so I get to fold them again that night. Like a cycle."

My bed creaked as Austin climbed on top of me, wedging himself between my knees. "You know," he said, looking down at me. "That's pretty strange. Neurotic, really."

"Me?" I laughed. "You're the one who's trying to get in my pants again, like, ten seconds after a failed attempt at a heart-to-heart. I'd say we're both pretty messed up."

"Very true." He laughed

We started kissing again. This time his hands moved up my shirt and unhooked my bra. There wasn't much room in my little twin bed, but Austin still managed to get my top off and my jeans unzipped in record time. I started to undo his pants, too, but he stopped me.

"No," he said, moving my hand away. "You might not agree with blow jobs, but I have a feeling you'll enjoy this."

I opened my mouth to argue but shut it quickly as he started kissing down my stomach. His hands began moving my jeans and underwear down toward my knees, one of them pausing briefly to squeeze the ticklish place above my hip, causing me to jerk once with a giggle. His lips moved lower and lower, and I was surprised by how much I was anticipating their final destination.

I'd heard Piper and even Kira talk about their boyfriends going down on them and how good it felt. I'd heard, but I didn't entirely believe it. Jake and I had never done that, and I'd always just assumed it was gross and weird.

It was kind of weird at first, but then it wasn't anymore. It felt… strange-but in a good way. Dirty, wrong, amazing. I felt like one of the characters on _Girls_. My fingers curled in the sheets, gripping the cloth tightly, and my knees shook. I was feeling things I'd never felt before. "Ah… oh," I gasped with pleasure and surprise and-

"Oh, crap."

Austin jumped away from me. He'd heard the car door slam, too. That meant my dad was home.

I pulled up my underwear and fastened my jeans quickly, but it took me a minute to find my bra. Once I was completely dressed, I fixed my hair and did my best not to look like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Should I leave?" Austin asked.

"No," I said breathlessly. I could tell he didn't want to go back to the empty almost-mansion. The thought of him all alone by himself killed me "Stay a little while. It's fine. Dad won't care. We just can't… do that."

"What else is there to do?"

So, like the dork I am, we played board games for the next four and a half hours. He beat me at Sorry and Monopoly but now we were on to Scrabble .There was barely enough space in the floor of my tiny room for someone as tall as Austin to stretch out on his stomach, but he managed, and I sat across from him, the board between us as we spelled out words like quixotic and hegemony. Not exactly the most exciting Friday night, but I enjoyed it way more than I would have if I'd gone to the Beat or some lame party.

Around nine, after I'd kicked his ass three times- _finally, something I could beat him at_!-Austin got to his feet. "I guess I should go home," he sighed.

"Okay." I was a little disappointed. I was having a really good time "I'll walk you downstairs."

I was in such a good mood that I'd managed to forget all about Dad… until we ran into him in the living room. I smelled the whiskey before I saw the bottle on the coffee table, and my cheeks burned with embarrassment. Please don't notice, I thought to myself as I walked Austin toward the front door. I guess I should've started worrying when he hadn't checked upstairs to see whose car was in our driveway. I mean, it wasn't like having a car that shiny in front of our house was a common occurrence. Maybe Austin hadn't thought about that either. It was a Friday night, after all. Dads could drink whiskey on weekends… well, ones that weren't recovering alcoholics, but Austin didn't know that side of the story. As long as my father acted normal, this might slide by as nothing out of the ordinary.

But, of course, I never had that kind of good luck.

"Ally-cat!" Dad said, and I could tell he was already wasted. Great. Just freaking fantastic. He stumbled to his feet and looked over at the front door, where Austin and I stood. "Hey, Ally-cat. I didn't even know you were home. Who's this?" His eyes narrowed at Austin. "A boy?"

"Um, Dad, this is Austin Moon," I said, trying to play cool. "He's a friend of mine."

"A 'friend.'… I bet." He grabbed the whiskey bottle before taking a few unsteady steps toward us, his eyes squinting at Austin. "Did you have fun up in my little girl's bedroom, boy?"

"I sure did," Austin said, clearly trying to sound like one of those innocent oh-gee-whiz! Boys from fifties TV shows. "We played three games of Scrabble. Your daughter is really good with words, sir."

"Scrabble? I'm not an idiot. That must be some new code for… for oral sex!" Dad snarled.

I must have turned scarlet. How did he know? Could he see right into my mind? No, of course he couldn't. He was just drunk and making accusations, and looking guilty would only make things worse. So I laughed as if it were ridiculous. As if it were a joke. Austin, following my lead, did the same.

"Sure, Dad," I said. "And sex is Yahtzee, right?"

"I'm not being funny!" Dad snapped, swinging his bottle and sloshing whiskey onto the carpet. Wonderful. I'd be the one cleaning that up. "I know what's up. I've seen the way your slutty friends dress, Ally. They're rubbing off on you, aren't they?"

I couldn't force the laughter any longer. "My friends aren't slutty," I whispered. "You're super drunk, and don't even know what you're saying." With a surge of bravery, I reached forward and swiped the bottle from his hand. "You shouldn't have any more, Dad."

For a second, I felt good. That was what I should have done all along. Just taken things into my own hands and removed the bottle. I felt empowered. I could fix this.

"I should go," Austin said behind me.

I started to turn around and say bye, but the words never left my mouth. I felt the bottle slip from my hand and heard it smash on the floor beside me. I was knocked to the ground, but for a second I didn't understand what had happened. Then the delayed pain in my temple stunned me. It was like I'd been hit by something. Something hard. Something blunt. Something like the palm of my father's hand. I reached up and rubbed my head in shock, barely feeling the actual pain.

"See!" Dad yelled. "Boys don't stay with whores, Ally. They leave them. And I'm not going to let you turn into a whore. Not my daughter. This is for your own good."

I looked up as he reached a hand down to grab my arm. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting to feel his fingers clamp around my forearm.

But they never did.

I heard a loud thud, and Dad grunted in pain. My eyes flew open. Austin moved away from Dad, who was massaging his jaw with a shocked look on his face. "Why you little bastard!"

"Are you all right?" Austin asked, kneeling in front of me that concerned look in his eyes again.

"Did you just punch my dad?" I couldn't help but wonder if I was delirious. Had all of this really just happened? Totally bizarre.

"Yes," Austin said.

"How dare you touch me!" Dad screamed, but he was having trouble balancing enough to approach us again. "How dare you fuck my daughter, then hit me, you son of a bitch!"

I'd never heard my father swear like that before.

"Come on," Austin said, helping me to my feet. "There's no way you're staying here tonight. You're coming with me." He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close against his warm body, and ushered me out the open door.

"Ally!" Dad yelled behind us. "You better not get in that damn car! You better not leave this house! You hear me, you little whore!"

The ride to Austin's house passed in silence. Several times I saw him open his mouth like he wanted to speak, but he always shut it again. I was in too much shock to say anything. My head didn't hurt that much. I just couldn't believe what my Dad did. But worse was the embarrassment. Why? Why did Austin have to see that? What did he think of me now? What did he think of Dad?

"That's never happened before," I said, breaking the silence when we pulled into the driveway of his house. Austin cut the engine and looked over at me. "Dad's never hit me… or even yelled at me like that before."

"All right."

"I just want you to know that wasn't normal for us," I explained. "I don't live in an abusive house or anything. I don't want you to think my dad is some kind of psychopath."

"I was under the impression that you didn't care what people thought," he said.

"About me. I don't care what they think about me." I didn't realize that was a lie until the words had left my mouth. "But my family and friends are different… My dad isn't a psychopath or abusive or an alcoholic. He's just having a rough time right now." I could feel the lump rising in my throat, and I tried to gulp it down. I needed to explain. He needed to know. "My mom just filed for a divorce, and… and he just can't handle it."

The lump wasn't going away. It just kept growing. Everything has been leading up to this moment and all my fears and worries were rushing out. I couldn't fight them back anymore. I couldn't keep them bottled up. Tears started gushing down my cheeks, and before I knew it I was sobbing.

How had this happened? It felt like a nightmare. My father was the sweetest, nicest man I knew. He was naive and fragile. This wasn't him. Even though I'd heard his reasons for sobriety before-even though I knew, in the back of my head that his drinking was dangerous-it still didn't seem real. It didn't seem possible.

I felt like my world was finally spinning out of control. And this time, I couldn't deny it. I couldn't ignore it. And I definitely couldn't escape it.

Austin didn't say anything. He just sat with me in silence. I didn't even realize he was holding my hand until after the tears had stopped. Once I'd caught my breath and wiped away the few salty drops from my eyes, he opened his door and walked around to open mine. He helped me out of the car-not that I needed it, but it was still nice-and led me up to the porch with his arm tight around me, like the way he'd guided me out of my house, keeping me close. As if he was afraid I might slip away in the darkness between his car and the front door.

Once we were inside, Austin offered me a drink. I shook my head, and we went upstairs like we always did. I sat on the bed, and he sat down next to me. He wasn't looking at me, but he seemed to be deep in thought. I couldn't help wondering what horrible things were on his mind. I didn't ask. I didn't want to know.

"Are you all right?" he asked, turning to face me finally. "Do you need an ice pack or anything?"

"No," I said. My throat was sore from crying, "It doesn't hurt anymore."

He reached over and brushed the hair away from my face, his fingers barely grazing my temple. "Well," he said quietly. "At least now I know."

"Know what?"

"What you're trying to escape from."

I didn't respond.

"Why didn't you tell me that your father has a drinking problem?" he asked.

"Because it's not my place to tell," I said. "And I told you he's not an alcoholic. He's just going through a hard time right now. He hasn't had a drink in eighteen years. Just since the divorce papers came in… it'll pass….He'll get better."

"You should talk to him. When he's sober, you should tell him that it's getting out of hand."

"Yeah, right" I scoffed. "And make him think I'm against him, too? When my mom has just handed him the divorce papers?"

"You're not against him, Ally."

"Tell me, Austin, why don't you talk to your parents?" I asked. He was being a huge hypocrite, "Why don't you tell them that you're lonely? That you want them to come home? It's because you don't want to upset them, right? You don't want them to blame you for their misery? If I tell Dad he has a problem, he'll think I hate him. How can I hurt him more? He just lost everything."

Austin shook his head. "Not everything. He didn't lose you," he said. "At least not yet. If you don't talk to him, he'll just end up driving you away, and then he will be in far worse pain."

"Maybe."

Austin's fingers continued to rub soothingly against my temple. "This doesn't hurt, does it?"

"Not at all." I say with a bit of smile, that only lasts a second. Actually, the way he was massaging my skull felt pretty good. I sighed and leaned into his hand. "The things he said hurt way more," I murmured.

I bit my lower lip. "You know," I said to Austin, "I've never been called a whore in my life, and today two different people have implied that I am. What's funny is, I'm pretty sure they're right."

"That's not funny," Austin said, his face serious. "You're not a whore, Ally."

"Then, what am I?" I demanded, feeling suddenly angry. I pushed his hand away from my head and stood up. "What am I? I'm screwing a guy who isn't my boyfriend and lying about it to my friends… if they're even my friends anymore. I don't even think about it now, whether this is right or wrong! I'm a whore. Your grandma and my dad both think so, and they're right."

Austin stood up, his face hard and serious. He grabbed me by the shoulders and held me firmly, forcing me to look up at him. "Listen to me," he said. "You are not a whore. Are you listening, Ally? What you are is an intelligent, sassy, sarcastic, funny, neurotic, loyal, compassionate girl. That's what you are, okay? You're not a slut or a whore or anything remotely similar. Just because you have some secrets and some screw-ups… You're just confused… like the rest of us."

I stared at him, stunned. Was he right? Was the rest of the world just as lost as I was? Did everyone have their secrets and screw-ups? They must. I knew Austin was just as messed up as me, so surely the rest of the world had its imperfections, too.

"Ally, whore is just a cheap word people use to cut each other down," he said, his voice softer. "It makes them feel better about their own mistakes. Using words like that is easier than really looking into the situation. I promise you, you're not a whore."

I looked at him, into his warm brown eyes, and suddenly understood what he was trying to tell me. The message hidden beneath the words.

You're not alone.

Because he understood. He understood how it felt to be abandoned. He understood the insults. Understood me. Austin and I were the same

I tilted my head and kissed him-really kissed him. It was more than just a precursor to sex. There was no war between our mouths. My hips rested lightly beneath his, not pressed tightly. Our lips moved in soft, perfect harmony with each other. This time it meant something. What that something was, I didn't know at the time, but I knew that there was a real connection between us. His hands stroked gently through my hair, his thumb grazing my cheek-still damp from crying earlier. And it didn't feel weird or unnatural. Actually, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

I slid off his shirt, and he pulled mine over my head. Then he laid me down on the bed. No rush. This time things were slow and earnest. This time I wasn't looking for an escape. This time it was about him. About me. About us. It was about honesty and compassion and everything I'd never expected to find in Austin.

This time, when our bodies connected, it didn't feel dirty or wrong.

It felt amazingly right.

Well that was intense! So as I teased in the last chapter that a character would find out about Austin and Ally and now you know that it was Ally's dad. The next chapter also has a character finding out about Austin and Ally. I'm so excited that I might post the next chapter tomorrow! We'll see! And let me know who you think finds out next.


	17. Chapter 17

**I really love updating this story and I love you guys even more. Enjoy!**

 **I don't own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

I knew something was different the instant I opened my eyes the next morning.

Even though the sky looked harsh and cold outside Austin's window, I felt warm. So warm. Austin's arm was draped over me, holding me against his chest, and his soft, rhythmic breathing heated the back of my neck. It was so peaceful. So perfect. I felt safe and content.

And that was the problem.

I shouldn't have felt safe or content. Not here. Not with Austin. It was wrong. I should have been disgusted. I should have been repulsed. I should have wanted nothing more than to push him away from me. What was going on? What was wrong with me?

And just as I asked myself the questions, the answers hit me like a tidal wave. An icy tidal wave that left me wide-eyed and shocked.

I was jealous of the other girls he talked to.

I was willing to do anything to make him smile.

I felt safe and content in his arms.

I finally know what that feeling was I had at the carnival with him

Oh my gosh! I'm in love with him.

I had to shake myself then. No, no, no. Not love. Love was a big word. Too big. Love took years upon years to develop… right? I was not in love with Austin.

But I had feelings for him. Feelings other than hatred and disgust. It was more than a crush. More than anything I'd felt for Dallas over the past few years. Even more than I'd felt for Jack all those years ago. It was real. It was powerful.

And it was terrifying.

I had to get out of there. I couldn't stay. I couldn't let myself fall into this trap. No matter how I felt about Austin, he would never feel the same.

Because he was Austin Moon- bad boy player.

And I was Ally Dawson- the Duff.

He could never feel the same way about me and there was no way I was going to torture myself that way. I'd learned my lesson with Jack. Getting too close just led to getting hurt, and Austin had plenty to hurt me with. Last night he'd seen me at my weakest. I'd let him in. I'd opened up. And if I didn't leave now, I'd pay the price.

 _No matter where you go or what you do to distract yourself, reality catches up with you eventually_. Mom had said that about herself and Dad.

As I reluctantly crawled out of Austin's arms I couldn't help but think how right my mother was. Just like my mom used Africa as her escape and distraction. Austin had been mine. He was supposed to be my escape from emotions. From all the drama. And it totally backfired because here I was … in love with Austin. Ugh. I had to stop saying that! I was not in love with Austin. But I think I'm really close to getting there.

Okay I'm _in-like_ with Austin. Strongly _in-like_

I crept around the room, trying to get dressed without making any noise. After yanking on my sweater and jeans, I grabbed my cell phone and slipped out onto the balcony.

Before I could talk myself out of it, or convince myself that she wouldn't answer, I dialed Trish's cell phone number. I knew she'd still be mad at me after our fight, but I couldn't think of any other options. No matter how mad she was, I knew Trish would always be there for me. She really was the best friend I could have.

"Hello?" she grunted sleepily after two rings.

Crap! I can't believe I'm going to tell Trish my secret and I can't believe _this_ is the way she is going to find out. But I knew it was for the best. I knew if I didn't leave then, I never would. I knew, but I didn't want to go. I didn't want to feel what I felt. And I really didn't want Trish-or anybody, for that matter-to know about it.

"Hello? Ally?"

"Hey, Trish, I'm sorry to wake you up, but can you do me a big favor? Please."

"Ally, are you okay?" she demanded, her drowsiness vanishing. "What's up? What's wrong?"

"Can you get your mom's keys and come pick me up? I really need a ride home."

"Home?" She sounded confused. Not a good thing when combined with fear. I was going to give the poor girl a heart attack one day. "You mean you aren't at home? You didn't stay at your place last night?"

"Calm down, Trish. I'm fine," I said.

"Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down, Ally!" she snapped. "You've been acting weird for weeks and totally ignoring me every time I tried to talk to you. Now you're calling me early in the morning and telling me to pick you up, but I should chill out? Where the hell are you?"

This was the part I'd been dreading, so I took a deep breath before answering her question. "I'm at Austin's… You know the giant house on-"

"Yeah," Trish said. "Austin Moon's place? I know where it is." She was curious, but she tried to hide it behind her anger. Her acting skills were no better than mine. "Fine, I'll be there in ten minutes." And she hung up.

I turned off the phone and shoved it into my back pocket.

Ten minutes. Just ten short minutes.

I sighed and leaned against the railing of the balcony. From here, the usually sunny and bright Miami looked sad and broken. The streets were empty this early in the morning and sky was plagued with storm clouds. The image wasn't helped by the dull, sunless sky that left everything under a layer of gloom.

It seemed fitting given how I felt

"You may not be aware of this, but humans tend to sleep in on Saturdays."

I turned around and found Austin standing at the balcony entrance, rubbing his eyes sleepily with a little smile on his face. Despite the chilly wind, he was wearing nothing but his black boxers. He looked amazing… but I couldn't think about that. I had to end this.

"We need to talk." I had to look at something besides his hot, half-naked body. My feet seemed like the best option.

"Hmm," Austin mused, running a hand through his blond hair that was perfectly messy even this early. "You know, my father says those are the four most frightening words a woman can say. He claims that nothing good ever begins with 'We need to talk.' You're worrying me a little here."

"We should go inside."

"That's not promising."

I followed him into his bedroom, wringing my hands uncontrollably. (Sweaty palms are so attractive.) He flopped onto his bed and waited for me to do the same like I do usually, but I remained standing. I couldn't get too comfortable. Trish would be there to pick me up any minute, eight and a half to be exact, yes I was counting. I had to keep this short and sweet.

Anxiously, I reached up and scratched the back of my neck. "Listen," I said. "You're a great guy, and I appreciate everything you've done for me."

Why did this sound so much like a breakup? Didn't you actually have to be dating someone to dump them?

"Really?" Austin asked. "Since when? You've never referred to me as anything better than an asshole. I knew I'd grow on you eventually… but something tells me I should be suspicious."

"But," I went on, ignoring him as best I could. "I can't do this anymore. I think we should stop, um, sleeping together."

Yep. Definitely seemed like a breakup to me. All I needed to do was throw in an "It's not you; it's me," and it would be perfect.

"Why?" He didn't sound hurt. Just surprised.

It hurt me that he didn't sound hurt.

"Because this isn't working for me anymore," I said, sticking with the traditional lines I'd heard in movies. They were classics for a reason, after all. "I just don't think this"-I gestured between us-"is in my, uh… either of our best interests."

Austin narrowed his eyes at me. "Ally, does this have something to do with what happened last night?" he asked seriously. "If so, I want you to know that you don't have to worry about-"

"That's not it."

"What, then? You're not making sense. Talk to me"

He reached out his arm to touch me but I backed away. I felt horrible when I saw a flash of hurt across his face

I stared at my shoes, examining the color. Bright red. "I'm like Hester," I whispered, more to myself than to Austin.

"What?"

I looked up at him, surprised he'd heard me. "I'm like…" I shook my head. "Nothing. We're done. I'm done."

"Ally-"

Two quick honks from the driveway saved me.

"I-I have to go."

I was so focused on getting out of that house that I didn't hear the words Austin yelled after me. His voice simply faded into the distance, where I hoped to leave him forever.

Trish revved the engine as I climbed into her mother's 2004 Buick. She was gazing through her windshield at the almost-mansion while I pulled on my seat belt. She had neon green leopard print pajamas on under her jacket. I should have known that even in her sleep, Trish would have animal print on.

"Hi," I say with fake happiness, hoping she'll forget all about the fight we had not two days ago. I should've know better

She looked over at me. Her eyes swept across my face-already searching for telltale signs of trouble-and her forehead wrinkled. After a short staring contest, she turned away and started driving. . "Okay," she said as we pulled out of the driveway. "What's going on? And don't tell me things are fine, because I got my ass up at seven a.m., and I might just kick your ass if you don't give me a real answer."

"Oh, yes, because resorting to threats always gets me talking."

"Don't give me that bullshit," Trish growled. "You're just avoiding the subject, which you do a lot. That might work with Cassidy, but you should know damn well by now that it won't throw me off one bit. Now explain. Start with why I just picked you up at Austin's house."

"Because I stayed the night."

I figured playing dumb was my best option. But of course Trish wasn't taking it

"Yeah, I figured that much out on my own." She said

I bit my lip, not completely sure why I was still hiding the truth. I mean, it wasn't as if I could keep the truth from her for much longer. She'd have it pieced together soon enough, so why not just spill it now? Now that Austin and I were over, anyway. Was lying-or withholding, really-just instinctive now? After all these weeks of secrecy, had I developed a habit?

And if I had, wasn't it about time to break it?

She slowed the car down. "Tell me the truth, Ally, because I'm pretty confused right now. Confused and annoyed. Last time I checked, you hated Austin Moon. And I mean hated."

"I did," I said. "I still do… sort of."

"'Sort of '? For crying out loud, stop dancing around the answers. Look, you've been ditching Cass and me for weeks. We barely see you anymore because you don't do shit with us. Cass won't say it, but she seriously thinks you don't like us anymore. She's upset, and I'm pissed because you've totally abandoned us. You're always distracted and zoning out. And you dance around our questions! Damn it, Ally, give me some answers here… please." The anger in her voice broke into a small plea of desperation. She lowered her voice. "Please, tell me what's going on with you."

The guilt I felt in that moment was unbelievable. I really had been a bad friend. I let out a long breath, knowing I couldn't lie anymore. At least not about this. "We've been sleeping together."

"Who? You and Austin?"

"Yeah."

"Since when?"

"End of January."

She was quiet for a long moment. Then, after it sank in, she asked, "If you hate him, why have you been hooking up with him?"

"Because… it made me feel better. With all of the drama with my parents and then Jack showing up and all… I just needed to distract myself. I wanted to escape from it all… you know, in a non-suicidal way. Sleeping with Austin just seemed like a decent idea at the time." I stared out the window, not wanting to see the expression on her face. I was sure she'd be disappointed in me. Or, in a sick way, maybe even proud of me.

"So… is that where you've been for the past month?" she asked. "Is that why you've been bailing on us? You've been with Austin?"

"Yeah," I murmured. "Every time things got to be too much, he was just there. I could relieve the stress without freaking you or Cassidy out. It seemed like a decent idea at the time.

It was silent for a moment

"Can I ask you a question?" Trish said finally breaking the awkward tension that was created

"Sure"

"It's kind of personal"

I shift in my seat and look at her wondering what it could be. Curiosity got the best of me "What is it?"

"How good is Austin in bed?"

"TRISH!" I yell my face turning Scarlett

"I'm curious! I know Piper and Kira say he's good, but I think they just like to brag. I know you will keep it real with me, so how is he?"

"I-I uh" I was stuttering not really saying anything before Trish interrupts again

"I mean does he have techniques? Or special tools?"

"Trish, he's not Christian Grey" I can't help but laugh. I've missed her and her craziness so much

"Alright, alright. But answer the question! Is he any good?"

"Uh,, yeah I enjoy it … a lot "

"I knew it! It's just something about those hands. They just like they know they're doing. But don't worry Als, I'm not going to steal your man"

I freeze at her calling Austin my man. I was about to correct her but she starts talking again

"I called it! I knew the sexual tension between the two of you would end up boiling over sooner or later."

I look down in my lap twiddling my fingers because of my nerves. Trish must have notice

"What's wrong?" she asks

I was about to lie and say nothing but knew that I would just be going back to my old lying ways. So I decided to come clean

"Me and Austin are over"

"WHAT?" Trish screamed damaging my eardrum

"I'm done sleeping with Austin, Trish"

"But-but what about Alex and Ava?"

"Who?"

"The future kids you two going to have!"

"You've already named our fictitious children? "

"Yeah! Ava would be just like you. She would be shy and love eating pickles and cloud-watching. And Alex would be just like Austin! He would be extroverted and wear little leather jackets and have the same swagger his dad has."

"You need help" I say

She rolls her eyes "Whatever. Tell me why you are crushing my dream of being an aunt.

I sigh. "Things just got out of hand. This started as a way to distract myself from my life but now things suck worse than ever."

"OMG, are you pregnant?"

"What?! No of course not. "

"Okay, okay," Trish said. "You're not pregnant. I'm excited for Alex and Ava to happen but you're too young to be a mom. But wait. If that's not the problem, why do things suck worse?"

"Well, for one, you're pissed at me… and I like Austin."

"Well, duh, you are screwing him."

"No, I mean…" I shook my head and turned to look out the window again. "I don't like him," I explained. "He annoys the hell out of me ninety-six percent of the time, and sometimes I'd like nothing better than to strangle him to death. But at the same time I… I want him to be happy. I think about him way more than I should, and I-"

"You love him."

"No!" I shouted, spinning around to face her. "No, no, no! I do not love him, okay? Love is rare and hard to find and takes years upon years to develop. Teenagers don't fall in love. I don't love Austin."

"Fine," Trish said. "But just know you sound a lot like that character from Hercules. You do have feelings for him though, right?"

"Yeah."

She glanced at me before turning back to the road, half grinning. "I knew it. I mean… all those jokes I made about it were just teasing, but I knew something would happen after you kissed him."

"Shut up," I muttered. "This sucks."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is it a bad thing? So what if you have feelings for him. Isn't that supposed to be great and exciting and give you butterflies in your tummy or whatever?"

"No," I said. "It's not great or exciting. It's terrible. It's excruciating."

"But why?"

"Because he'll never like me back!" wasn't it obvious? Couldn't she put two and two together? "He'll never care about me that way, Trish. I'm wasting my time even thinking that it's possible."

"Why won't he like you back?" she asked.

Did she have a million questions or what? "Stop."

"No, I'm being serious, Ally," Trish pushed. "I'm pretty sure you can't read minds or see into the future, so I don't see how you know that he won't ever like you. Why wouldn't he?"

"You don't like me very much right now," I pointed out.

"I'll get over it," she said. "Well, eventually. But seriously, what's stopping Austin from liking you back?"

"I'm the Duff."

"Sorry. The what?"

"Duff."

"Is that even a word?"

"The designated ugly fat friend," I sighed. "The unattractive girl in the group. That's me."

"That's stupid."

"Is it?" I snapped. "Is it really that stupid, Trish? Look at you. Look at Cassidy. You two look like you jumped out of an issue of Teen Vogue. I can't compete with that. So, yeah, I'm the Duff."

"You are not. Who told you that?"

"Austin."

"You're kidding me!"

"Nope."

"Before or after you slept with him?"

"Before."

"Well then, he didn't mean it," Trish said. "He's been sleeping with you, right? So he must find you attractive."

I snorted. "Look who you're talking about, Trish. Austin isn't particularly picky when it comes to sex. I could look like a gorilla, and he still wouldn't hesitate to sleep with me, but dating me is a totally different situation.

"He would never be the boyfriend of a Duff."

"Seriously, Ally," Trish says. "You are not the Duff. If any of us is the Duff, it's me."

Funny."

"I'm not joking," she insisted. "I'm still mad at you, so why would I go out of my way to be nice? I mean, I'm like a freaking dwarf. I'm only five feet tall now! Most guys have to bend down to even give me a hug. At least you're cute and petite. I'd kill to be your height… and to have your eyes. You have way prettier eyes than me."

I didn't say anything. I was sure she'd gone insane. How the hell could she be the Duff? Even in her pajamas she looked like she'd just stepped off the set of a supermodel photo shoot

"If Austin can't see how adorable you are, he doesn't deserve you," she said. "You just need to move on. Put Austin out of your mind."

Yeah, right. Move on to who? Who would want me?

Nobody.

But I couldn't say that to Trish. It would probably just start another stupid fight, and we hadn't really finished the first one yet, so I just nodded.

"So… what about that Houston boy?"

"You mean Dallas?"

"Ugh. Austin, Dallas I can't keep track. What is it with you and boys named after cities in Texas?"

I roll my eyes and ignore her. "What about Dallas?"

"You've had a crush on him forever," she reminded me. "And I saw you all over him in the cafeteria yesterday-"

"He hugged me," I interjected. "That is hardly me being all over him."

She rolled her eyes. I was really rubbing off on her. "Whatever. The point is, you were getting cozy with Dallas, but now you're suddenly in-"

I shot her a warning glare.

"-you suddenly like Austin," she finished.

"What's your point?" I asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. "It's just… I feel like you've kept so much from me. Like so much has changed so fast with you. I feel really in the dark right now."

More guilt. Great. She was laying it on thick today, but I guess I deserved it.

"Not that much has changed," I assured her. "I still have a crush on Dallas… not that it matters. We're just friends. He hugged me yesterday because he got into the college he wanted and was really happy. I wish it had been more, but it wasn't. And the thing with Austin is just… it's stupid. It's over. We can pretend it never happened. I'd prefer that, actually."

"What about your parents? The divorce? You haven't even brought it up since the day after Valentine's."

"Everything's fine," I lied. "The divorce is still happening. My parents are fine."

She gave me a skeptical look before turning back to the road. She knew I was full of it, but for once she didn't push it. Finally, after a long moment, she spoke again. Luckily, she changed the subject.

"Okay. So where the hell is your car?"

"At school," I said. "The battery's dead."

"That blows. I guess you'll have to get your dad to go fix it."

"Yeah," I muttered. If I can get him sober for more than ten seconds.

There was a long silence. After a few minutes, I decided to swallow the little pride I had left. "I'm sorry I called you a bitch yesterday."

"You should be. You also called me a preppy cheerleader snob."

"Sorry. Are you still mad at me?"

"Yeah," she said. "I mean, not as much as I was yesterday, but… it really hurt, Ally. Cass and I have been so worried about you, and you barely talk to either of us anymore. I kept asking and asking if you wanted to go out, and you totally blew me off. Then I saw you talking to Dallas when you were supposed to be talking to me, and… I was kind of jealous. Not in a creepy way, but… I'm supposed to be your best friend, you know? It felt like you just tossed me aside. And now it really bothers me that you started sleeping with Austin instead of just talking to me."

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Stop saying that. Don't just be sorry," she said. "Sorry doesn't change the future. Next time, think about me. And Cass, too. We need you, Als and just remember that we're here for you, and we care about you… for some weird reason."

I cracked a little smile. "I'll remember."

"Just don't abandon me again, okay?" The words came out in a weak murmur. "Even with Cass, I was really lonely without you… and I didn't have anyone cool to drive me around. Do you know how much it sucks to have Kira as your chauffer? She almost hit some poor old dude on a bike the other day. Did I tell you that story?"

We drove around Miami for a while, just wasting gas and catching up on what we'd missed. Trish had a crush on a basketball player. I was acing English. Nothing too personal. Trish knew my secret now-or part of it-and she wasn't mad at me anymore… well, not that mad at me. She assured me I had a lot of groveling to do before we were totally good again.

We drove around until her mom called at ten, demanding to know where her car was, and Trish had to take me home.

"Are you going to tell Cassidy about this?" she asked quietly as she turned onto my street. "About Austin?"

"I don't know." I took a deep breath, deciding that keeping secrets wasn't the best idea. It had only fucked things up so far. "Look, you can tell her. Tell her everything if you want. But I don't want to talk about it. I just kind of want to forget about this if I can."

"I understand," Trish said. "I think she should know. I mean, she is our best friend… but I'll tell her you're moving on. Because that's what you're doing, right?"

"Right," I murmured.

I couldn't help feeling anxious when she pulled into my driveway. I stared at the oak front door, at the shuttered windows that looked in on my living room, and at our simple, clean, picket-fenced yard. I'd never realized what a mask my family lived behind.

Then I thought of Dad.

"I'll see you Monday," I said, looking away so she couldn't see the worry on my face.

Then I slid out of the car and started walking toward my house.

 **I know I am putting you on an emotional rollercoaster ride and I'm sorry but it will be worth it Auslly is definitely the end game. I loved writing for Trish in this! I thought it was hilarious how she had all these personal questions about Austin and even named Austin and Ally's future children. I think "I won't say I'm in love" from Hercules is the perfect song for this chapter and let me know if there are any other songs I should add to the playlist (You can find it in my bio) Til next time!**

Ghost TowMaiden Name

Duff


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm sorry but this chapter is short and doesn't have Austin in it, but don't worry he'll be in every chapter from this point on. Enjoy!**

 **I don't own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

I was standing on the porch before I realized I didn't have my keys. Austin had pulled me from the house so quickly the night before that I hadn't been able to grab my purse. I can't believe I have to knock on my own door! After a few minute of fearing, dreading, remembering before I finally gained the courage to actually knock

I took a step back as the knob turned and the door swung open. There stood Dad, his eyes red and deeply circled. My dad has always been fair skinned but right now he looked really pale, like he'd been sick or was some kind of ghost. I could see his hand shaking on the doorknob. "Ally."

He didn't smell like whiskey.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Hi, Dad. I, um, left my keys inside last night, so…"

He moved slowly forward, like he was afraid I might run away. Then he wrapped his arms around me, pulled me into his chest, and buried his face in my hair. We stood there together for a long moment, and when he finally spoke, I could tell the words came through sobs. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I know," I murmured into his shirt.

And I was crying, too.

Dad and I talked more that day than we had in seventeen years. Not that we weren't close before. It's just that neither of us is very expressive. Mom was always the one who made us talk about our day or what we were feeling. And when she left, everything changed, our communication just ended. We didn't share our thoughts or feelings or do any of that stuff they tell you is important on T.V. But that day we talked.

We talked about his work at Sonic Boom.

We talked about my grades.

We talked about Mom.

"She's really not coming back, is she?" Dad sighed rubbing his face with both hands. We were sitting on the couch. For once, the television was off. Ours were the only voices that filled the room. It was a good kind of semi-silence, yet scary at the same time.

"No, Daddy," I said, bravely reaching out to squeeze his hand. "She's not. This just isn't the right place for her anymore."

He nodded. "I know. I've known for a long time that she wasn't happy… maybe even before she knew. I just hoped-"

"That she'd change her mind?" I offered. "I think she wanted to. That's why she kept leaving and coming back, you know? She didn't want to face the truth. She didn't want to admit that she wanted a"-I paused at the next word-"divorce."

Divorce was just so final. More than a fight. More than a separation or a long speaking tour. It meant their marriage-their life together-was really and truly finished.

"Well," he sighed, squeezing my hand back. "I guess we were both running away in different ways."

"What do you mean?"

Dad shook his head. "Your mother went to Africa. I went to a liquor store." He reached up and rubbed his temple, an unconscious habit-he always did it when he was making a point. "I was so devastated by what your mother did to me that I forgot how horrible drinking is. I forgot to look on the bright side."

"Dad," I said, "I don't think there is a bright side to divorce. It's a pretty sucky thing all around."

He nodded. "Maybe that's true, but there are a lot of bright sides to my life. I have a job I like, a nice house in a good neighborhood, and a wonderful daughter."

I rolled my eyes but will a huge smile on my face. "Hey, don't go all sappy on me. This isn't a Hallmark card commercial."

"I'm sorry," he said, smiling. "But I mean it. A lot of people would kill for my life, but I didn't even consider that. I took it-and you-for granted. I'm so, so sorry for that, Ally-cat."

I wanted to look away when I saw the tears glistening at the corners of his eyes, but I forced myself to focus only on him. I'd been turning away from the truth for too had to end

He apologized multiple times for everything that had happened over the past few weeks. He promised me he'd start going to weekly Alcoholics Anonymous meetings again, to go back on the wagon, to call his sponsor again. And then we poured every single bottle of whiskey and beer down the drain together, both of us eager for a clean slate.

"Is your head all right?" he asked me about a million times that day.

"It's fine," I kept telling him.

He always shook his head and murmured more apologies for slapping me. For saying what he had. Then he'd hug me.

Seriously, a million times that day.

Around midnight, I joined him in his nightly ritual of turning out the lights. "Ally," he said as the kitchen went dark. "I want you to thank your friend next time you see him."

"My friend?"

"Yeah. The boy who was with you last night. What's his name?"

"Austin," I muttered.

"Right," Dad said. "Well, I deserved it. He was brave to do what he did. I don't know what's going on between you two, but I'm glad you have a friend who's willing to stand up for you. So please tell him I said thanks."

"Sure." I turned and walked up the stairs to my bedroom, praying that wouldn't be anytime soon.

"But Ally?" He winced and rubbed his jaw. "Next time tell him he should feel free to write a strongly worded letter first. Hell of an arm on that kid."

I smiled in spite of myself. "I don't think there will be a next time," I told him, taking the last few steps and heading to my bedroom.

Both my parents were facing reality, giving up their distractions. Now it was my turn, and that meant quitting Austin. Unfortunately, there were no weekly meetings, no sponsors, or twelve-step programs for what I was addicted to.

 **I don't have much to say so… review! Til next time!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Let me preface this chapter by saying Auslly is the end game. So with that said please enjoy!**

 **I Do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

I was pretty sure Austin wouldn't approach me at school. Why would he? It wasn't like he'd miss me… even if I really, really wanted him to. He wasn't losing anything. He had plenty of replacement girls ready and willing to fill any gaps I might have left in his schedule. So there was no need for an avoidance plan on Monday morning.

Except that I didn't even want to see him. If I had to look at him day after day, I could never hope to forget about him. I could never hope to move on. For this situation, I did need a plan, and I had one all lined up.

Step one: keep distracted in the hallway in case he passed me.

Step two: stay busy in English and never look over at his side of the classroom.

Step three: speed out of the parking lot in the afternoon so I didn't run into him.

Dad made step three possible by fixing my car Sunday, so I was sure I could keep from seeing Austin. In a matter of weeks, I'd be able to put our relationship-or lack thereof-out of my mind. If not, well, we'd graduate in May and I'd never have to look at his stupid, perfect, gorgeous face ever again.

At least that was the plan.

But by the time the final bell rang on Monday, I knew my plan pointless. Not looking at Austin didn't stop me from thinking of Austin. In fact, I spent most of my day thinking about not looking at him. Then I just thought about all the reasons I shouldn't be thinking of him. It never freaking ended! Nothing seemed to distract me.

Until Tuesday afternoon.

I was on my way to lunch history class when something happened that gave me just the distraction I needed. Something unbelievable and shocking. Something pretty awesome.

Dallas fell into step with me in the hallway. "Hey," he said.

"Hi." I did my best to sound at least halfway pleasant. "What's up, Harvard Boy?"

He smiled "Not much. Do you mind if I walked with you to lunch?"

If this had happened a couple of months ago I would've be 'over the moon' with excitement. I still had a crush on Dallas but it is nothing compared to these new found feelings I have for Austin.

We walked for a couple of seconds in silence before he asked, "So, I know this is kind of out of the blue but would you be willing to go on a date with me?"

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I've had a crush on Dallas for years and his is the first time he's shown that he might actually reciprocate those feelings.

I must have taken too long to answer because I could literally see Dallas sweating with nerves. I decided to put the poor boy out of his misery/

"I would love to go on a date with you, Dallas."

My head was spinning. Dallas wanted me to go on a date with him. A date! I hadn't been on a real date since… Hell, I'd never been on a real date. Unless you count making out with Jack in the back of a movie theater a date.

I don't.

But why? Why would Dallas want to go on a date with me? I was the Duff. Duffs don't get dates. Not real ones. Yet Dallas was defying the odds. Maybe he was a bigger man than most. Just like how I'd always imagined him in my amazing, girly, mid-class daydreams. Not shallow. Not conceited. Not cocky or vain. A perfect gentleman.

"That's great!" he said. "In that case…" I could tell he was nervous. His cheeks were turning pink, and he was staring at his shoes and playing with a button on his shirt. "Friday? Would you like to go out with me on Friday night?"

"I'd like…"

Then the inevitable happened. I thought of the blond. The playboy. The womanizer. The one person who could ruin this moment for me. Yes, I had a crush on Dallas. How could I not? He was sweet and smart. Just like me… but my feelings for Austin (who was practically my opposite) were way beyond that. I'd skipped the crush kiddie pool and jumped right into the deep, shark-infested ocean of emotions. And, if you'll forgive the dramatic metaphor, I was a lousy swimmer.

But Trish had told me it was best to move on, and here Dallas was, tossing me a float and offering to save me from drowning. I'd be stupid not to accept.

And, come on, Dallas was adorable.

"I'd like that," I said, hoping my pause hadn't freaked him out too much.

"Great." He sounded relieved. "I'll pick you up at seven Friday night."

"Cool."

We separated in the cafeteria, and I think I skipped-yeah, skipped like a little kid-to the lunch table, my bad mood totally forgotten.

And it stayed forgotten.

For the rest of that week, I didn't think about how I shouldn't be thinking of Austin. I didn't think of Austin at all. Not once. My brain was too full of things like, what should I wear? And how should I fix my hair? All the stuff I'd never worried about before.

But those were the things that Trish and Cassidy were experts on, so they came home with me on Friday afternoon, and they were eager to make me their own personal dress-up doll. If I hadn't been so nervous about this date, I would have been horrified at what they were going to do to me.

They forced me into, like, twenty different outfits. ten of which more skin than I was willing to show, six were so tight that I felt like I was being squeezed to death and 3 were just straight-up ugly. Finally we found one (that I didn't entirely hate) I wound up in a knee-length black skirt and a low-cut turquoise blouse, and it made me look somewhat flattering. After another two hours of applying makeup and trying to tame my hair. It was already six-fifty when they placed me in front of the mirror to examine their work.

"Perfect," Trish announced.

"Cute!" Cassidy agreed.

"See, Als," Trish said. "All of that Duff crap is ridiculous. You look freaking smoking right now."

"What Duff crap?" Cassidy asked.

"Nothing," I said.

"Als thinks she's the ugly one."

"What?" Cassidy cried. "Ally, do you really think that?"

"It's not a big deal."

"She does," Trish said. "She told me so."

"But you're not, Ally," Cassidy insisted. "How could you think that?"

"Cassidy, don't worry about it," I said. "It's no big-"

"I know," Trish said. "Isn't it stupid? Isn't she hot, Cass?"

"She's super-hot."

"See, Ally. You're super-hot."

I sighed. My friends are awesome. And annoying but mostly awesome "Thanks, guys." Time for a subject change. "So, um, how are you getting home? I can't take you if Dallas is picking me up in ten minutes. Are your parents coming to get you?"

"Oh, no," Cassidy said. "We aren't leaving."

"What?"

"We'll be here when you get back from your date," Trish informed me. "Then we're having a huge slumber party where you'll spill all details about your first big date."

I gaped at them. "You're not serious."

"Do we look like we're kidding?" Trish asked.

"But what will you do while I'm gone? Won't you be bored or something?"

"You have TV and food," Cassidy reminded me.

"And that's all we really need," Trish said. "We already called your dad. You don't have a choice."

The doorbell rang before I could argue any further, and my friends practically pushed me down the stairs. Once we were in the living room, they started straightening my skirt and adjusting the collar of my shirt, attempting to maximize the amount of cleavage I was showing.

"You're going to have such a good time," Trish said looking like a proud mama while pushing some hair behind my ear. "You'll be over Austin in no time."

My heart raced at the mention of his name.

"Shh… Trish…," Cassidy whispered. I knew Trish had told her the whole story by now, but she hadn't said anything to me about it, which I appreciated. I really just wanted to keep my mind as far from Austin as possible.

I hadn't spoken to him since the morning I'd left his house. He'd tried to talk to me once or twice after English, though. I just avoided him, starting up conversations with Cassidy or Trish and rushing out of the class as fast as I could.

"Oh crap, sorry," Trish said, biting her lip. "I didn't think." She cleared her throat awkwardly and scratched the back of her head, ruffling her dark hair.

"Have fun!" Cassidy chimed, forcing the uncomfortable pause away. "But, you know, not too much fun. " It's kind of funny how my best friends acted more like my parents then my friends.

I looked at Trish, and I could see a spark of fear in her eye. She wanted me to move on after Austin, but I knew she was worried. Worried I'd leave her behind again. Worried Dallas would replace her.

But she had nothing to be afraid of. This was totally different from my relationship with Austin. I wasn't running anymore. Not from reality. Not from my friends. Not from anything.

I smiled to reassure her.

"Go! Go!" Cassidy squealed, her blond ponytail swinging as she bounced excitedly.

"Yeah," Trish said, smiling back at me. "Don't keep the boy waiting."

They shoved me forward and disappeared back upstairs in a fit of giggles and whispers.

"Freaks," I muttered, shaking my head and fighting a small giggle. I took a deep breath and pulled open the door. "Hey, Dallas."

He stood on my front porch, looking as cute as always in his navy button up and khaki pants. He looked adorable with his dark brown hair constantly falling into his eyes. He gave me a big boyish smile that showed off his slight overbite. "Hi," he said, shifting to stand in front of me. He'd been waiting off to one side of the door. "Sorry. I decided to wait. I heard giggling."

"Oh," I glanced over my shoulder. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"Wow. You look beautiful, Ally."

"Thank you" I say my cheeks turning pink "You didn't have to say that"

"It's true," he said.

"Aw shucks. That's sweet" I say looking down at my feet

 _Aw shucks?_ Was I serious? I knew Trish and Cassidy were probably face palming from another room while eavesdropping

"So are you ready to go?" Dallas asked.

"Yeah."

I stepped outside and shut the door behind me. Dallas took my arm and led me down the sidewalk to his car. He even opened the passenger's door for me, like a perfect gentleman Very classy. I couldn't help wondering, again, why on earth he was interested in me. He put the key in the ignition and turned to smile at me. His smile was definitely his best feature. I smiled back, feeling the little butterflies flutter around in the pit of my stomach.

"I hope you're hungry," he said.

"Starved," I lied, knowing very well that I was way too nervous to eat.

By the time we left Giovanni's, a tiny Italian restaurant in the center of Miami, I'd become a little more comfortable. My nerves were dying down, and I'd even managed to eat a bowl of spaghetti Bolognese. We were laughing and talking, and I was enjoying myself so much that I didn't want the date to be over when Dallas paid the bill. Lucky for me, he felt the same way.

"You know," he said as the bells on the door jingled behind us. "It's only nine-thirty. I don't have to take you home yet… unless you want to go home, which is fine, of course."

"No," I said. "I'm not in a hurry to go home. But what do you want to do?"

"Well, we can walk," Dallas suggested. He gestured down the sidewalk that ran alongside the busy street. "It's not very exciting, but we can window-shop or talk or-"

I smiled at him. "Walking sounds fun."

"Wonderful."

He looped his arm in mine, and we began to stroll down the well-lit sidewalk. We'd passed a couple small shops before either of us spoke. I was so grateful he opened his mouth first because, even though I wasn't that nervous anymore, there was no doubt in my mind my I would put my foot in my mouth yet again.

Well, since you know all about my college situation, I want to know about yours. Have you applied anywhere yet?" he asked.

"Yeah. I actually applied to MUNY a few weeks ago" I felt guilty sharing this with him. Austin was the only one who knew about my plans to attend MUNY. It kind of felt like I was cheating on him sharing that with anyone else. Especially Dallas

"Wow! I didn't know you liked music"

I bite my lips out of nerves and just nod. After a minute of silence he finally speaks up

"The Big Apple," he said, nodding. "Ambitious."

"Yeah, well, we don't even know if I'll get in so-."

He interrupted me. "I'm sure you'll get in. Any school would be a fool not to take you."

"You've never even heard me sing or play an instrument"

He shrugged. "True but I don't know. You're pretty great, Ally. You're funny, smart, and you don't seem like you're afraid to be yourself. That makes you awesome in my book."

Okay, so I blushed. Hard. Can you blame me?

"Thank you, Dallas."

"There's nothing to thank me for."

Wow. Was he perfect or what? Cute, polite, funny… and he liked me for some unknown reason. It was like we were made for each other. Like he had the puzzle piece that fit with mine. Could I get any luckier?

A cold March breeze was blowing, and I began regretting that I'd let Trish and Cassidy dress me. They'd never been seasonably sensible when it came to clothing. My bare legs were freezing (they hadn't let me wear panty hose), and the thin material of my blouse definitely didn't shield me from the wind. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself in an effort to warm up.

"Oh, here," Dallas said. He pulled off his jacket, just like boys are supposed to do, and held it out for me. "You should have told me you were cold."

"I'm fine."

"Don't be silly." He helped me slide into the sleeves. "Honestly, I'd rather not be dating a Popsicle."

Dating? I mean, this was a date, but were we dating now? I'd never dated anyone, so I wasn't really sure. Either way, hearing him say that made me very happy… and strangely nervous at the same time.

Dallas turned me around and adjusted the jacket around my neck and shoulders.

"Thanks," I murmured.

We were standing in front of an old antiques store, its windows illuminated by the light of fancy, old-fashioned lamps, like the ones my grandpa had in his living room. The glow spilled onto Dallas' angular face, showcasing his perfect features from his sweet smile to his almond-shaped eyes… which were staring down at me.

His fingers still lingered on the collar of the jacket. Then his hand slid up from my shoulder to my jaw. His thumb grazed my cheek, stroking it over and over again. He leaned toward me slowly, giving me plenty of time to stop him if I wanted to. Yeah, right! As if I would dream of it.

And he kissed me. Not a make-out kiss, but not just a peck either. It was a real kiss. Gentle and sweet and long. The kind of kiss I'd wanted to share with Dallas since I was fifteen years old, and it felt exactly like I'd always imagined it would. His lips were soft and warm, and the way they moved against mine made the butterflies in my belly go berserk.

I usually cringe at the thought of PDA but right now in this moment all I could think about was him. So I put my usual values aside for a second and wrapped my arms around his neck. I mean, I could always go back to my crusade against public make-outs in the morning.

I slipped into the house around eleven o'clock that night and found Dad waiting for me on the sofa. He smiled at me and muted the TV. "Hey, sweetie."

"Hi, Dad." I shut and locked the front door. "How was your meeting?"

"Strange," Dad admitted. "Its weird being back again… but I'll get used to it. What about you? How was your date?"

"Amazing," I sighed. I couldn't stop smiling. Dad was probably going to think I'd had a lobotomy or something.

"That's good," Dad said. "Tell me again, who did you go out with? Sorry. I can't remember his name."

"Dallas."

"Oh, that's great, Ally-cat. I know his dad and he's a good guy. He's the music director for a company downtown, so he comes into the store all the time. Wonderful family. I'm glad to hear his son's a nice kid, too."

"He is," I said.

The sound of shuffling came from upstairs, and we both glanced up at the ceiling. "Oh." Dad shook his head and looked back at me. "I almost forgot about them. They've been suspiciously quiet all night."

"Yeah," I said. "I should get up there and see what their up to see you in the morning, Dad."

"Okay," Dad said. He reached for the remote and turned up the volume on the television. "Good night, honey."

I'd danced halfway up the stairs before Dad called out to me again. "Hey, Ally-cat?"

I paused and leaned against the banister, looking down at the living room. "Yeah?"

"Whatever happened to Austin?"

I froze, feeling myself choke a little. "W-What?"

"Your friend. The one who, um… was with you that night." He looked up at me from the couch, muting the TV. "You don't talk about him much."

"We don't hang out anymore," I told him, using that voice that made it clear he shouldn't ask questions. All teenage girls know that voice and use it on their fathers frequently. I usually refrain from using it but this situation called for it. Thankfully the unspoken order is followed. My father loved me, but he knew better than to delve into the drama of my high school experience.

Smart Dad.

"Oh… I was just wondering. He seemed like a good kid"

"Ally!" My bedroom door flew open, and Trish, dressed in neon green leopard print pajamas, leapt out of my room. She sprinted halfway down the stairs and grabbed me by the arm. "Stop making us wait! Come tell us everything."

The way Trish was beaming almost pushed Dad's mention of Austin from my mind.

Almost.

"Goodnight, Mr. Dawson!" Trish yelled as she dragged me to my bedroom.

After a few steps, my feet picked up again and I reminded myself that I'd just had the best date ever with the guy of my dreams. I felt myself succumbing to the giddy joy my best friends expressed as soon as I walked into the room. Squealing, jumping, cheering…

I had the right to be happy about this. After all I've been through these past months, I think I deserved a night off.

 **I don't exactly love this chapter but I am excited for you guys to see what happens in the next chapter. So much so that I think I'll update Wednesday. By the way is anyone else disappointed that Austin and Ally didn't win favorite TV show at the Kids Choice awards? This was their last chance! At least Ross won for the fourth year in a row! Anyway let me know what you think!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey you guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I really love the story from this point on**

 **I don't own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

My good mood lasted all the way through to Monday afternoon. I felt like I was on cloud 9. Everything in my life was going great. Things were back to normal at home. Trish, Cassidy and I were closer than ever. Oh yeah, and I'd just gone on a date with the perfect boy. Who could complain?

"I don't think I've ever seen you this happy," Trish observed as we pulled out of the student parking lot. "It's so refreshing!"

"Trish, you make me sound like I'm Kristen Stewart or something."

"It's not that," she said. "It's just that you have been more happy and bright like the old All. I've missed her"

I smile "I missed her too."

Trish was right. I really hadn't been my usual self ever since mom sent those divorce papers back in January. But it looked like things were finally going to be normal again. I had Trish and Cassidy were back and things with Dad was starting to become normal again. But why did I feel like something was missing?

"So, what's up with you and Dallas? Anything gossip-worthy?" Trish asked while turning the radio station

"Not really. He's coming over this afternoon."

"Ooh!" She sat back in her seat and winked at me. "Sounds gossip-worthy to me" she said suggestively and winked

"Shut up," I said. "It's not that kind of thing, and you know it. He's just coming over to work on our history project. It's-"

I was cut off when my cell phone, which was lying in the cup holder, started vibrating and playing loud music. My fingers instantly clinched around the steering wheel. I knew who I'd set that ringtone for, and those few chords were all it took to derail my entire afternoon.

 _Well you can tell everybody  
Yeah you can tell everybody  
Go ahead and tell everybody  
I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man_

Yes I set that as his ringtone. What could I say? The song was really catchy

"I love this song! Who did you set this tone for?" Trish asked

I didn't say anything.

"Aren't you gonna answer it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to talk to him."

"Ally, who is it?"

I didn't respond, so Trish picked up my cell phone and checked the ID. I heard her let out a knowing sigh. A few seconds later, the music stopped playing, but I couldn't force my body to relax again. I felt stiff and anxious, and it didn't help that Trish had her eyes glued on me.

"You haven't talked to him?"

"No," I muttered.

"Since the day I picked you up from his house?"

"Mm-mm."

"Oh, Ally," she sighed.

"What do you think he wants?" Trish asked. She sounded curious but tried to hide it.

"I don't know. I don't want to know"

"Ally" she starts "You know I'm always on your side and that I got your back but do you think it's the best idea to avoid Austin?"

"I'm not avoiding him"

"You just told me you haven't talked to him in over a week"

"That doesn't mean I'm avoiding him" I say

She gives me a look

"Okay, maybe I am. But why should I talk to him… that's in my past"

"Ally you ended things with Austin less than two weeks ago. You should talk to him and get closer"

"I don't need closer. We weren't even in a relationship"

"But you still have feelings for him?"

I don't say anything

Trish looks satisfied that she's proven her point "I'm just saying Ally you can't run away from him for much longer"

"I know" I sigh

"I'm just saying" Trish starts" You should get over Austin so you can fully enjoy our relationship with Dallas. Because he doesn't deserve you, Als. Dallas is perfect for you and treats you the way you should be treated… unlike the jackass."

Part of me wanted to stop her. To defend Austin. He hadn't really treated me badly. I mean, yeah, he'd called me Duffy to no end, which was annoying and hurtful, but overall, Austin was good to me. She didn't know about that last night with Austin, how he had been my friend for about twelve solid hours. She didn't know about Dad's relapse, or the way Austin had stood up for me. She didn't know about that day he took me to the carnival and that he was he reason I had the courage to even submit my application to MUNY. I wanted to tell her all this but I my mouth stayed shut. I just couldn't and I don't know why.

I turned into Trish's driveway and hit the automatic unlock button on my door. "Don't worry about me. You're right. Dallas is awesome, and he's made it so much easier to move on. I already have. Things are going well for me, so don't worry."

"Okay," she said. "Good. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Als."

"Bye."

She climbed out of the car, and I drove away, wondering whether I'd just lied to her. Honestly, I wasn't sure.

On the way home, Austin called again and again and again.

I ignored him each time.

Because things were going well for me.

Because I was moving on.

Because talking on a cell phone and driving at the same time just isn't safe.

I pushed Austin out of my mind when I saw Dallas car already parked in my driveway. Dad wasn't home from work yet, so he sat on the front porch steps with a book. _See, he's perfect for me he loves to read and so do I. we're perfect for each other_. Why didn't sound like I was trying to convince myself?

I pushed the thought out of my head as I get out of the car and walk over to him. "Hey," I say. "Sorry. I had to take Trish home."

He looked up at me with a smile.

Not a smirk…

I had to shake myself. I wasn't going to think about Austin. I wasn't going to let myself miss him. Not when I had Dallas. Sweet, normal, Dallas, whose teeth were slightly crooked and had an overbite. _Not sparkling like Austin's_. My mind was driving me crazy

"It's fine," he said. "I'm enjoying the weather. It's so unpredictable in the spring." He stuck his bookmark in the pages of his novel. "It's nice to have a little bit of sunlight."

"Brontë?" I asked, seeing the cover of his book. "Wuthering Heights? I never pegged you as a Emily Bronte fan"

"Have you read it?"

"Well, no," I admitted. "I've read Jane Eyre. Are they similar?"

Dallas shook his head. "Jane Eyre is Charlotte Brontë. Wuthering Heights is Emily. The sisters are very, very different. Yes, Wuthering Heights is usually considered a love story, but I disagree with that. It's almost a ghost story, and there's more hate than romance. Every character is atrocious and spoiled and selfish.

"So, like every girl in high school?" I say

"Exactly!" Dallas says "It isn't a favorite of most boys my age, I guess, "but it's a page-turner. You should read it."

"I might."

"You should."

I smile and shake my head. "Are you ready to get started?"

"Absolutely." He snapped the book shut and got to his feet. "Lead the way."

I unlocked the door and let him walk inside ahead of me, where he immediately took his shoes off. I couldn't help being impressed. He had amazing manners

"Where will we be working?" he asked.

I realized suddenly that I was watching him and looked away. "Oh," I said casually. "Um… my room? Is that okay?"

"If it doesn't bother you," Dallas said.

"No, it's cool. Come on."

He followed me up the stairs. When we reached my bedroom, I panicked trying to remember how I left it this morning. My room was usually super neat, but I was in such a rush this morning, that it kind of looked like a tornado ran through it. "Sorry it's a little messy," I say, looking down at the pile of unfolded, pile of clothes that were on the floor.

"It's fine." Dallas moved a stack of overdue library books out of my chair and placed them on the desk. Then he sat down. "We're seventeen. Our rooms are supposed to be messy. It wouldn't be natural if they weren't."

"I guess not." I climbed onto my bed and sat with my legs crisscrossed. "I just didn't want it to bug you."

"Nothing about you could bug me, Ally."

I smiled, he was so sweet! .I'd never received so many compliments from one person, and I wasn't very good at accepting them. But I was working on that. .But I was still blushing like a fool.

I didn't even notice Dallas had moved until he was sitting beside me. "Sorry," he said. "Did I embarrass you?"

"No… well, yeah, but in a good way."

"As long as it's in a good way."

He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, but I didn't let him stop there. I turned my head and pressed my lips against his, just as he started to pull back. It didn't go quite as smoothly as I'd hoped. I mean, his forehead kind of knocked me in the face for a second, but I pretended I hadn't noticed.

His lips were so soft, I did he do that? Seriously, nobody has lips that perfect naturally, do they? He must have been disgusted by mine, which probably felt rough and scaly to him.

But if he was, he didn't show it. His hand moved up my arm and rested on my shoulder, pulling me a little closer. We sat on my bed and kissed for a few minutes, but the sound of my cell phone broke the moment. Damn it!

And of course, it was that same Aloe Blacc ringtone-the one I wanted least to hear at that exact moment-that seemed to scream at me. Dallas pulled away and looked down at the floor where I'd dropped my purse. When I didn't move, he turned back to me with raised eyebrows.

"Ignoring someone?" he asked.

"Well,… um, yeah."

"Are you sure you don't need to answer it?"

"Positive."

Before he could ask any more questions, I kissed him again. Hard this time. And even though he hesitated for an instant, he returned it. Soon our arms twisted around each other, and the kiss deepened.

I pulled him down onto the pillows with me. There wasn't quite enough room for both of us on my twin bed, so he had to lie partially on top of me. One of his hands was in my hair, and the other rested near my elbow.

He wasn't trying to grab my boob, he hadn't slid his hand up my shirt, and he didn't attempt to unzip my jeans.

Actually, Dallas didn't try anything risky. I had the feeling I was going to have to make all of the big moves, like loosening the buttons on his shirt, which I did.

For an instant, I wondered if he was hesitating because of me. Because I was the Duff. Because he didn't really find me attractive. Despite all those compliments he paid me, it didn't feel like he wanted me. You can say a lot about Austin, but every time I was with him he made me feel wanted.

No. I knew that wasn't right. I need to stop comparing Austin and Dallas. And it wasn't that Dallas didn't want me, he was just being a gentleman. A patient, respectful boy who didn't want to cross any lines. And we'd only been dating for a couple of days.

But I just needed to get Austin out of my head once and for all. And I liked him of course. I wouldn't just being using Dallas to clear my mind like I did with Austin. Right?

No. I'm doing this because I like Dallas. The only reason I'm pushing this forward is because I had feelings for him. I wanted to go farther with him because I liked him. Because he was cute and sweet. Because he wasn't ashamed to date me. . It had nothing to do with Austin whatsoever

Man I just wanted to stop thinking. I kissed him harder, pulled him closer, trying to re-create that mind-numbing feeling I'd had before… with Austin. But it wasn't working. I couldn't stop thinking.

I undid the rest of the buttons on Dallas' shirt and helped him throw it onto the floor. He was kind of scrawny with hardly any muscles –Trish would have called him "chicken boy" or something. Tentatively, his hands began to lift the hem of my T-shirt. He moved slowly in case I wanted to stop him. Just like how he kissed me, always worried he might have crossed the line. I don't even know how long we spent making out on my bed, pieces of clothing being removed at a snail's pace. I was already breathless by the time he had the nerve to pull my T-shirt over my head and toss it to the carpet. While part of me appreciated his patience, I couldn't help thinking, _Took you long enough_.

I could feel his right hand inching-like a turtle-toward the clasp of my bra. At this rate, it would have been midnight before he got it off, and for some reason, I felt urgent and anxious. I wanted him to get it off. I wanted to stop thinking. So I pushed him away and sat up, my legs still wrapped around him. We both breathed heavily, gazing at each other.

"Are you sure about this?" Dallas whispered.

"Very."

I reached around to undo the clasp, but right when my fingers grazed the hook, there was a knock on my bedroom door.

"Ally?" I heard a familiar voice

Dallas and I jumped. Both our necks snapped around just as the door swung open.

Austin stared back at us, frozen in the doorway.

 **I know I'm leaving you guys on a cliffhanger. Don't hate me. Let me know what you think is going to happen next (hint it involves a confrontation between Austin and Ally) By the way, One reviewer mentioned wanting to know what's going on in Austin's head. I was thinking about doing a separate fanfiction after this one was done where you would find out what happens to Trish. Cassidy, and Dallas. Maybe I'll also include a few chapters from Austin's point of view so you know what he was thinking or up to. What do you think? Let me know. And don't forget to review!**


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm sorry I left you on that cliffhanger and i'm sure it felt like forever since I've updated because of that. I hope you enjoy!**

 **I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

"Oh gosh," I muttered as Dallas and I jumped off each other in a frantic effort to untangle ourselves. He scrambled off my bed and grabbed his shirt off the floor, his face glowing scarlet. "Austin" I screeched as I picked up my shirt and put it over my head. "How did you get in here?"

"The door was unlocked," he said. "I knocked a couple of times and you didn't answer… Now I see why." His brown eyes that were usually carefree eyes were now big with what I could only guess was shock, dissolving quickly into disgust and narrowed as he stared directly at Dallas.

Why was he shocked?

Because he didn't think anyone else would fool around with the Duff?

"But what are you doing here?" I asked, feeling a sudden surge of anger rush through my veins. First he calls me nonstop now he barges in on me and Dallas right before we were going to- _you know._ I fixed my shirt and stood up my hands firmly on hips.

"You weren't answering your phone," Austin muttered. "I was worried, but it looks like you're just fine." He glared at Dallas for a moment before looking back at me. "My mistake."

Now he was the one who looked angry.

Angry and hurt.

I didn't get it.

I looked over at Dallas. His shirt was on and he was staring awkwardly at his feet. "Hey," I said. He looked up at me. "I'll be right back, okay?"

He nodded.

I grabbed Austin by his hand and dragged him out of the room and shut the door as soon as we were in the hallway comfortably. Well not comfortably this was kind of the most embarrassing moment of my life, almost as embarrassing as when my dad found out about me and Austin a week ago.

Austin didn't look embarrassed though. He looked more … angry. He was staring at the door that led to my bedroom, where Dallas was, his eyes were darker than I've ever seen them before. He finally turned his eyes back to me, effectively breaking me out of my analysis of him. I grabbed his hand and started ushering him downstairs trying to make sure Dallas didn't hear us.

"For crying out loud, Austin," I hissed irritated, as we stepped off of the last step "I always knew you had perv tendencies, but watching me? That's a whole new level of creepy."

I assumed he'd say something to that. Something arrogant and cocky. Or maybe just tease me, the way he always did. Typical Austin. But he just stared at me, a serious expression on his face. Not at all what I'd expected from him.

Silence.

"So," he said at last. "You and Dallas are together now?"

I felt a lump in my throat at his question. I never thought I'd be talking to Austin about this "Yes," I answered uneasily. "We are."

"When did that happen?"

"Last week… not that it's any of your business." Another jab. Another attempt to make this conversation normal. I was desperate, I needed him to act like he usually did

But nothing. He didn't take the bait at all. "Right. Sorry." He sounded so awkward. So different from the smooth, confident Austin I was used to. I didn't like it

The silence was so thick and uncomfortable that you could cut it with a knife. Forge knife a chainsaw would be needed just to make a dent. I couldn't take it anymore

"Why are you here, Austin?"

"You would know if you answered my calls"

I sighed and crossed my arms against my chest. "Just tell me why you're here Austin."

"I told you," he said. "I got worried. I mean you literally ran out my house the morning after your dad hit you. You've been avoiding me for the past week at school, and when I called you today, you didn't answer. Several times. I thought something might have happened with your dad. So I came to make sure you were okay."

I bit my lower lip, a wave of guilt washing over me.

"That's sweet," I murmured. "But I'm fine. Dad apologized for the other night, and he's going to AA meetings now, so…"

"So you weren't going to tell me?"

"Why would I?"

"Because I care!" Austin yelled. His words crashed into me, stunning me for a second. He never yelled at me before "I've been worried about you since you left my house a week ago! You didn't even say why you left, Ally. What was I supposed to do? Just assume you would be all right?"

That tinge amount of guilt I had before multiplied by 1000 now. I feel so stupid, of course Austin would be worried with the way I've been acting around him. From running out his house the morning after the incident with dad, to avoiding him at school to ignoring his calls. I could only imagine what he must have been thinking. He was probably going crazy this past week wondering if I was ok. I was an idiot.

Austin was now pacing in front of me like a wild cat running his hands through his hair.

"Oh my gosh," I whispered. "Austin I'm so sorry. I didn't-"

He finally stops pacing and interrupts me

"I'm worrying about you, and you're screwing around with that pretentious little-!"

"Hey!" I shouted. "Don't bring Dallas into this."

"Why have you been avoiding me?" he asks.

"I haven't been avoiding you."

"Don't lie," Austin said. "I might not be as smart as you but I know when someone avoiding me. You've been doing everything you can to stay away from me. You won't even look at me in class, and you practically sprint down the hallway if you see me coming. Even when you hated me, you didn't act like that. You might threaten to stab me, but you never-"

"I still hate you," I snarled at him. "You're infuriating! You act like I owe you something. I'm sorry I made you worry, Austin, but I just can't be around you anymore. You helped me escape from my problems for a while, and I appreciate that, but I have to face reality. I can't keep running away."

"But that is exactly what you're doing right now," Austin hissed. "You're running away."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't pretend, Ally," he said. "You're smarter than that, and so am I. I finally figured out what you meant when you left. You said you were like Hester. I get it now. The first time you came to my house, when we wrote that paper, you said Hester was trying to escape. But everything caught up with Hester in the end, didn't it? Well, something finally caught up with you, but you're just running away again. Only, he"-Austin pointed upstairs towards my bedroom-"is your escape this time." He took a step toward me, forcing me to crane my neck even more to see his face. "Admit it, Duffy."

"Admit what?"

"That you're running away from me," he said. "You realized you're in love with me and you bailed because it scared the crap out of you."

I scoffed as if it were ridiculous- _wishing it was ridiculous_ -and rolled my eyes, stepping back to show he couldn't intimidate me, that he wasn't right. But of course he took one step forward closing the distance between us "Get over yourself, Austin. You're so dramatic, this isn't a soap opera, Austin."

"You know it's true."

"Even if it is," I cried, "what does it matter? You could sleep with anybody, Austin. So what if I walk away? So what if I have feelings for you? I was nothing more than a screw to you! You would never actually commit to me. You could never commit to anyone, but especially not to Duffy. You don't even find me attractive."

"Bull" he growled, his eyes on my face as he moved closer to me again.

He was so close. My back was pressed to the wall, and Austin stood only inches away. It had only been a week, but it felt like ages since we'd been in this kind of proximity. A shiver ran up my spine as I remembered the way his hands felt on me. The way he'd always made me feel wanted, even if he had called me the Duff. Did he? Did he find me attractive despite the nickname? How? Why?

"Then why would you call me that?" I whispered. "Do you know how much it hurts? Every time you call me Duffy, do you know how bad it makes me feel?"

Austin looked surprised. "What?"

"Every time you call me that," I said, "you're telling me how little you think of me. How ugly I am. I mean how can you possibly find me attractive when you put me down all the time!" I hissed the last words through gritted teeth.

"I didn't- Ally I-" His eyes fell, staring at his shoes for a moment. I could tell he felt guilty. "Ally, I'm so sorry." He looked into my eyes again. "I didn't mean-" His hand reached out to touch me.

"Don't," I snapped, shrugging away from him. I slid to the side and stepped away from the wall. I wasn't going to be cornered. I wasn't going to let him have the power here. "Just stop, Austin."

It didn't matter if some part of him found me attractive. That didn't change things. I was just another girl he'd slept with. One among many.

"I didn't mean anything to you," I tell him.

"Then why am I here?" he demanded, turning to face me again. "Why the hell am I here, Ally?"

Something inside me snapped. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why did he have to figure out my feelings for him? Why was he making everything so complicated?

I glared at him "I'll tell you why. Your parents leave you by yourself, so you fill your life with meaningless flings. With girls you'll never have anything serious with-girls who practically worship you-so that they don't abandon you. The only reason you're here is because you can't take the thought that someone else walked away from you. Your sensitive ego can't handle that, and it's easier to make me miss you than to make your parents come home."

He was speechless, just staring at me with his jaw visibly clenching for a few seconds.

"Did I hit the mark, Austin?" I spat. "Do I get you as well as you think you get me?"

He glared at me and I glared back. We just stood there glaring at each other for a few minutes-long minutes-before Austin finally stepped back. "Fine," he muttered. "If that's how you want it, I'll go."

"Yeah," I say. "I think that'd be for the best."

He turned and stormed out of the house. I heard the front door slam, and I knew he was gone. For good. I took a few deep, slow breaths to clear my head and then I realized what I said. I'm the worst person ever. How could I say that to him? After how supportive he was after the whole incident with my dad. Why did I say that to him? I knew why, deep down. I just wanted to push him away. Because he was making me face the truth and I wasn't ready for that. All I wanted to do was call him and tell him how sorry I was….for everything. But I knew I couldn't do that, for several reasons.

After a couple of minute of trying to get rid of the guilt I had (I couldn't) I walked back up to my bedroom, where Dallas was waiting for me.

"Hey," I sighed, sitting down on the bed beside him. "I'm so sorry about that."

"What happened?" he asked. "You were down there for a while and I heard a lot of yelling. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said. "It's a long, complicated story."

"Well, if you ever want to talk about it"-Dallas said while playing with a button on his shirt and giving me a nervous smile-"I've got the time to listen."

"Thanks," I said. "But I'm okay. Everyone has dirty laundry, right?" Well, everyone except you, Dallas.

"Right," he agreed. He leaned over and kissed me gently. "Sorry we were interrupted earlier."

"Me, too."

He pressed his lips to mine again, but I couldn't enjoy it. I just kept thinking of Austin. He had looked so hurt. It killed me. But that's what I had wanted when I left him, just a little, wasn't it? For him to miss me? I tried to push it down, wanting so badly to lose myself in Dallas' arms. But I couldn't.

Not the way I'd been able to lose myself with Austin.

I pulled away, disgusted with myself. How could I think of Austin when I was kissing a guy like Dallas? What was the matter with me?

"Is something wrong?" Dallas asked.

"It's nothing," I lied. "Just… we should probably start on our history project."

"You're right." He didn't seem irritated or offended or dejected at all. Perfect manners. A perfect smile. He was the perfect boy.

So why wasn't I perfectly happy?

 **Please don't hate Ally. I know what she said was mean but as you can see she really regrets it and it actually needed to be said and you'll see why in the next chapter. Til next time!**


	22. Chapter 22

**I hope you enjoy! And by the way I got a review from someone on my other little story "Our Little Secret" asking if I was going to continue. Don't worry I will continue I'm just busy with this story right now, but I am going make sure that story is finished.**

 **I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

Austin stayed on my mind for the next couple days, which put me in a really bad mood. I didn't want to think about him. I wanted to think about Dallas, who was obviously way too good for me. He could tell I was grumpy, but instead of harassing me about the cause, he just squeezed my hand, kissed me on the cheek, and bought me candy in hopes of making me smile again. How could I be thinking of another guy-an annoying, egotistical, womanizing guy-when such a wonderful one stood right in front of me? Maybe I needed Trish to knock some sense into me that might have bring me to my senses.

But Austin seemed to be everywhere. He was always climbing into his car just as I walked out to the student parking lot or standing two feet ahead of me in the lunch line. Do you know how hard it is to forget someone exists when they're constantly in your sight? Pretty hard. For a second, I actually wondered if he might be doing this on purpose, like stalking me or something, but I let go of that idea when I noticed that he didn't even look at me anymore. Like he was too mad about the things I'd said to acknowledge me.

It should have been a relief not to have his creepy eyes crawling all over me, but it wasn't at all. It hurt.

Every time I saw Austin, I was overcome with a flood of emotions. Sadness, pain, irritation, regret, confusion, lust, and, worst of all, guilt. I knew I shouldn't have said those things about his attachment issues-even if they were true. It was a low blow. And despite my urge to apologize, I kept my mouth shut tight. Honestly, I would rather have dealt with the knowledge that I was a terrible person than suffer through another uncomfortable conversation with him.

Though I couldn't avoid the conversation with his sister.

I was in the library one morning, trying to find _another_ book to read, I was here so often the librarians knew me by name. I even get Christmas cards from a few of them. It was while I was reading the back of yet another romantic vampire novel that Amy walked up to me. I swear, she was so freaking quiet that I didn't have a chance to run. I really needed to get that girl a bell because one minute I was alone, the next she was right beside me. I was ambushed.

"A-Ally," she stammered. She was wringing her hands and staring at the ground, as if talking to me was actually causing her physical pain. Poor girl I was that shy too, actually I still am at times but never like this.

"Oh. Um, hey, Amy." I shoved the book I was examining back onto the shelf. "What's going on?" I kept my face pointed away from her, pretending I was still scanning the titles in front of me.

I didn't want to look at her. For one, she looked too much like her brother, and I was trying-and failing miserably-to forget about him and his stupid gorgeous face. For another, I couldn't stand to meet her eyes when she tore into me, which I just knew she was about to do. Not that I could blame her.

Well, okay, so I couldn't really imagine timid little Amy tearing into anything, but still.

"I, um… I have something to say to you," she said, trying to sound determined.

Or maybe Amy was upset at me for facilitating Austin's "lifestyle." Maybe she wanted to blame me for the distance between them.

If that was the case, I wanted to defend him. To tell her that her grandmother was misrepresenting Austin. That he wasn't a bad guy-and definitely not a bad brother. But I knew not to get involved. It wasn't my place to fix his family issues. He wasn't even part of my life anymore.

"Okay. Go ahead."

Here it comes, I thought. Whatever she says, don't cry.

"I… I want to…" She took a deep breath. "Thank you."

 _Say what now?_ "Huh?" I turned around to face her. Surely I hadn't heard her right. There was just no way.

"Thank you," she repeated. "For Austin. He… he's a lot different, and I know it has to be because of you. I… I appreciate it, so thank you."

Before I could ask for a detailed explanation-spoken slowly so that I could follow-Amy turned around and hurried away, her brown curls bouncing behind her.

I was left standing in the middle of the library, totally confused.

And it got worse later that day.

When Austin rounded the corner after lunch while I was pulling notebooks out of my locker, I wasn't really surprised. Like I said, he was everywhere. Piper was with him, clinging to his arm and flipping her hair like the girl in a shampoo commercial. She was laughing, but I could have bet money that whatever Austin had said wasn't all that funny. She just wanted to inflate his ego. And I'm sure it was getting as big as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon.

"Over here," she giggled, pulling him into the alcove ten feet away from me. "I wanna talk to you."

Talk? I thought. Yeah, not likely.

I swear, I tried not to listen. I knew hearing them flirt would only get me worked up, but Piper's flirtatious voice carries, and they were standing really close to me, and yeah, a masochistic little part of me couldn't stop myself. I started arranging the textbooks in the bottom of my locker, trying to make enough noise that I wouldn't be able to hear their conversation.

"What are you doing for prom?" Piper asked.

"I don't have any plans," Austin answered. "I think I'm just gonna hang with Dez"

I shuffled my papers loudly, hoping that, even if I couldn't drown out their words, they would notice me and take the make-out session elsewhere. I mean, they weren't groping each other yet, but I knew both of them well enough to be sure it wouldn't take long.

"Well," Piper said, either not hearing me or just not caring. "I thought maybe we could go together." I didn't have to look to know she was scraping her long, polished fingernails lightly down Austin's arm. Piper used the same moves on every guy. "I thought maybe after the dance we could have a little time alone… at your place, maybe?"

I had the serious desire to puke. Not only at hearing about Piper's ' _plans'_ with Austin after the prom but also the thought of Austin with another girl. I grabbed my books, slammed my locker shut, and prepared to bolt toward my next class before I had to hear Austin say yes. Let them have each other! I thought bitterly. But he answered before I could even take a step.

"I don't think so, Piper."

I froze.

What? What? Rewind for a second, please. Did Austin really turn down a girl? A girl who was perfectly willing to screw his brains out? I had to be dreaming.

Piper seemed to be experiencing a similar reaction. "What? What do you mean?"

"I'm just not interested," Austin said. "But I'm sure you have plenty of other boys who would love to join you. Sorry."

"Oh." Piper stumbled out of the alcove with a look of hurt surprise. "It's, um, okay. Not a problem. Just thought I'd offer." She hesitated for a second. "I guess I'll see you later? Gotta go to class. Bye." And she took off down the hall, obviously confused.

She wasn't the only one.

Was this the difference Amy had been talking about? Was Austin suddenly inclined to be less man-whorish? If so, how was that because of me?

I stared as Austin walked out of the alcove. Then, for the first time in days, he looked at me. His eyes locked with mine. I expected to see disgust, rage all the emotions I saw on his face a few days ago. But what I saw shocked me. A weak smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but the expression in his eyes was unreadable. I could tell he wasn't angry, though. That fact sent instant relief through my tense muscles.

Knowing he wasn't pissed at me made the guilt I felt melt a little… but not entirely. I'd still said some cold things to him, and in that second, as I held his gaze, I thought of speaking, of apologizing. I thought about it, but I didn't say a word.

Austin took a step toward me, and I suddenly remembered who I was-who he was. While Austin's rejecting Piper was undeniably surprising, it didn't change the fact that I didn't have a chance with him; he would never want a real relationship… especially not with me. And then there was the fact that I was dating Dallas. Plus, I knew that communicating with Austin would just make my steadily improving life complicated again. I wouldn't punish myself that way.

I spun around and started running down the hallway, pretending I didn't hear him call after me.

I slowed when I turned down another hallway and saw Dallas. My boyfriend, my perfect, sweet, caring boyfriend. He smiled showing off his infamous overbite, I could tell he was genuinely pleased to see me. Was I equally happy to see him? I was. Of course I was, but the smile on my face felt artificial.

"Hey, I was just looking for you" He says

"Well here I am" I say hoping I don't sound out of breath "Um what's up?"

He pulls me aside and takes both my hands into his. His face looked serious. "I have something I need to ask you?"

Oh no this can't be good he's probably going to ask me about what happened between Austin and me a couple of days ago.

"Um what do you want to ask? "Say my throat suddenly going

"Alison- I don't know what your middle name is – Dawson, will you do me the honor and be my date to prom?'

I was shocked. Here I thought he was going to ask me about Austin, but he's just asking me to prom? It threw me for a loop. But why? He was my boyfriend after also why was it so shocking that he just asked me to prom? I realized that I was taking too long to answer, so I snapped back into reality.

"I-I don't know what to say" I stutter pathetically

"How about yes?" he says jokingly but I could see his nerves

"Of course I would love going to prom with you" I said, why did I not sound excited? My dream boy just asked me to prom, I should be over the moon

He wrapped me up in a hug "I'm so happy"

"Yeah, me too" Why did it sound like I was trying to convince myself? I've dreamed of going to prom with the perfect boy since I was little, and he just asked me. So how come I feel anything but happy right now? Maybe I did need Trish to knock some sense into me.

* * *

A few days later, I found Cassidy waiting for me outside my Chemistry class. "Can we talk on the way to English?" her voice was uncharacteristically serious. I could tell something was up by the way she bit her lower lip.

"Um, sure," I said, shifting my books under my right arm. Seeing my perpetually perky friend looking so solemn made me uneasy. "Is something wrong?"

"Kinda,… not really."

We shoved our way through the packed halls together, trying not to step on too many people's toes. I waited for Cassidy to speak, my curiosity and anxiety rising. I was just about to start chewing my hair out of anxiety. Luckily, though, she started talking before my resulted back to my embarrassing bad habit.

"It's about you and Dallas. I just don't think you're right together." She said it so fast that I wasn't sure if I'd heard her at first. "I'm sorry, Ally," she moaned. "I know he asked you to prom and I'm sure you're super excited" I could tell she was waiting for me to agree so I nodded even though it felt forced. She continued" And I know it's not any of my business, but I don't see a spark there, you know? And I think Trish agrees she just doesn't want you think she's not supportive after the whole thing with Austin. Which is also none of my business. I just don't think I'd be a good friend if I wasn't completely honest with you. You just don't seem like yourself when you're with him. Please don't be mad."

I shook my head, trying to fight my sudden urge to laugh. That was it? That was what she was worried about? I'd seriously thought someone was dying or, at the least, her Mom had forbidden her going to prom. Instead, it turned out that she was worried about me. I really do have incredible friends "Cassidy, I'm not mad at you at all."

"Oh, good," she breathed. "It's not that I don't like Dallas," Cassidy continued. "I do. He's sweet, and he's nice to you, and I know you need that after… after my brother."

My heart may have actually stopped beating for a second there. I stopped right where I was and, after a stunned pause, whirled around to stare at Cassidy. "How do you…?" I managed to whisper.

"Jack told me," she said. "I was telling him about my friends when your name came up, and he told me about your thing a few years ago. He feels horrible about it now, and he wanted me to apologize for him, but I didn't want to bring it up. I'm sorry, Ally. It must be really hard for you to be my friend after what Jack did."

"That's not your fault."

"I just can't believe you didn't say anything. It must have been on your mind when Jack came to visit. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to think less of your brother," I said. "I know you think a lot of him, and I didn't want to ruin that."

Cassidy didn't say anything. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me as close to her as humanly possible. It was a little awkward at first, but I gradually fell into her embrace. My arms slid around her waist, returning the hug. Knowing I had someone who would hold me like this, with nothing to gain, made me feel like one of the luckiest people in the world.

"I love you, Ally."

"Um, what was that?"

Cassidy released me and took a step back. "I love you," she said. "You and Trish both. You're the best friends. You two always try to protect me, like not telling me about what an a-hole my brother was. And I want to do the same thing for you."

"Cassidy, that's sweet."

"That's why I'm telling you this," she went on. "I know Dallas is nice and he likes you, but I don't see a connection. I mean, I'm glad you're spending time with me and Trish again, and I think it's cool that he hangs out with us sometimes, but what I care about is that you're happy. You might look happy, but I don't think you are." She took a deep breath and tugged at the hem of her floral-print skirt. "I don't want to bring this up, but… I've heard some rumors about Austin lately."

I bit my lip. "Oh."

"He hasn't been as flirty lately," she said. "I haven't seen him with any girls, and I thought"-she looked at me with wide eyes-"I thought maybe you'd want to know. I mean, I know you have feelings for him, and-"

I shook my head. "No," I said, "it's not that simple."

She nodded. "Okay," she said. "I just thought I'd throw it out there. Sorry."

I sighed and smiled, reaching out to take her hand and pulling her toward the English classroom. "It's okay. I appreciate you being concerned-I really, really do. And you might be right… about me and Dallas, I mean. But this is just high school. We're only dating. It's not like I'm looking for a husband or whatever. I don't think you need to worry about me yet. I'm fine."

"Trish says you're usually lying when you say that," Cassidy informed me.

"She does, huh?"

I released Cassidy's hand as we walked into English class, determined to avoid answering her accusation. That proved to be pretty easy, really. I was able to feign distraction-well, it wasn't entirely fake-when I noticed the folded piece of paper lying on my desk. I sat down and picked it up, assuming it was from Trish. Who else would be writing me a note?

But Trish handwriting was never this neat, it was always scribbly and super small. But the handwriting on the outside of this paper was normal size, cursive, and pretty impressive looking. Whoever wrote this had pretty good penmanship. Not as good as mine of course, I did go to calligraphy camp after all.

Confused, I unfolded the paper and read the single sentence that was scrawled across the top that made my heart beat increase immediately

 _Austin Moon doesn't chase girls, but I'm chasing you._

 **I keep dropping cliffhangers on you guys! Ok in a future chapter I think I am going to have Austin sing a song for Ally, and I want to know what you guys think. The songs will either be "Steal Your Heart" or "I Think About You". Personally I think Steal Your Heart is a better choice since Austin wrote it in the show and I the lyrics kind of describe Austin and Ally's relationship in the story, but I want to know what you guys think. I'm going to create a poll in my profile you can use soon or you can just let me know through a review. Til next time!**


	23. Chapter 23

**I'm back! On with the story!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Duff or Austin and Ally**

Me Ally Dawson-The Duff in a love triangle. I can't believe it. I thought being the Duff meant no boy drama. Clearly, I was wrong. How did this happen? How did I, the ugly girl, end up in the middle of a love triangle? But there I was, torn between two attractive guys that, by all means, I shouldn't have had a shot with. (Trust me, not as glamorous as it sounds.)

On one side, I had Dallas. Smart, cute, funny, polite, sensitive, and practical. Dallas was perfect in every conceivable way. He was even a little dorky, just like me. I liked being with him, and he always put me first. He respected me and never seemed to lose his patience. There was absolutely nothing to complain about with Dallas.

On the other side, there was Austin. A jerk. An asshole. An arrogant, womanizing rich boy who put sex before everything else. Sure, he was incredibly hot, but he could annoy me like no one else. He was irritatingly charming, and his cute little grin could really get under my skin. But he had a way of making my heart race and my head spin like no one else. I wasn't afraid to be myself around him. Austin understood me and it scared me to admit I understood him too. We both had issues and I knew whatever I told him about my life I knew he could relate and would never judge me. I felt like myself when I was with him, whereas I was always trying to hide embarrassing parts of myself from Dallas in fear of what he would think

My life had been so much easier when no one noticed me. I wish I could go back to there

The note from Austin felt like it weighed half a ton in my back pocket as I headed out to the student parking lot that afternoon. To say I was confused would have been the understatement of the year. I mean, that single sentence left me with a million different questions, but there was one in particular:

Why on earth does Austin want me?

I think it is safe to say I am very different from the girls Austin have been with. For one I had a brain, plus I had major dork tendencies. I mean I was not a supermodel by any means. He had dozens of girls ten times better looking than me who would kill to be with him. Why me? Wasn't he the one who had called me the Duff in the first place? All the questions in my head were starting to give me a serious headache

When I got home, it just got worse.

On Dallas' suggestion, I'd started reading Wuthering Heights in my spare time. Honestly, the main characters were so unlikable that it was hard to push through the book. I was considering putting it down for good that day, but a line of dialogue caught my attention.

"My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees-my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath-a source of little visible delight, but necessary."

I don't know why but that little excerpt really got in my head, like a song you hate but can't stop singing. I tried to read on, but the words kept bouncing around in my brain. I turned back the page and read the lines again and again. I was trying to figure out why it bugged me so much when I was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

I was so relieved to have a reason to slam the book shut. (Definitely not normal for me) I jumped off my bed and ran downstairs. "Coming!" I yelled. "Just a second!"

I pulled open the front door, expecting to find Dallas, who'd said he might drop by later. But the who I found shocked me

"Dez? What are you doing here?" I've only talked to Dez once or twice and all I knew was that he was Austin's best friend.

"Hey Ally" he looked at the outside of my house. "This is a nice house you have"

"Um thanks" this was weird "What are you doing here?"

"Oh right. I'm here to give you these" he hands be a big bouquet of flowers that I didn't' even realize he had been holding

"Er, thanks, Dez. But I don't really feel that kind of way about you"

He laughed "Don't worry Ally they're not from me"

"Then who are they from?" I asked

"I'm sorry I was sent here on specific instructions. I'm just supposed to give you the flowers and leave"

"Wait who sent you?" this was going from weird to straight creepy

"Um, um I've already said too much. Bye" he rambled. Then he was gone

Confused I closed the door. What was happening? Who would send me flowers? It had to be Dallas. But why would he have Dez give them to me. I put the bouquet on the kitchen table and opened the envelope, expecting to find a sappy but perfectly worded letter from my flawless boyfriend.

But the handwriting on the letter was the same as the note in my back pocket. This time, however, there was much more to absorb.

 _Ally,_

 _Since you keep running away from me at school, and, if I remember correctly, the sound of my voice makes you want to rip your ears off, I decided a letter might be the best way to tell you how I feel. Just hear me out._

 _I'm not going to deny that you were right. Everything you said the other day was true. But my fear of being alone is not the reason I'm pursuing you. I know you and I know how much you overthink. So I'm pretty sure your mind has been on overdrive since that note I left you earlier today. And I'm also pretty sure you have convinced yourself that there is no way on earth that I could want you and that you don't stack up to the other girls I've been with. Well I'm here to tell you two words you've probably never heard before in your life: You're wrong. The truth is, I'm chasing you because I really think I am falling in love with you._

 _You are the first girl who has ever seen right through me. You're the only girl who has ever called me on my bullshit. You put me in my place, but, at the same time, you understand me better than anyone ever has. You are the only person brave enough to criticize me. Maybe the only person who looks close enough to find my faults-and, clearly, you've found many._

 _I called my parents. They're coming home this weekend to talk to Amy and me. I was afraid to do this at first, but you inspired me. Without you, I never could have done that._

 _I think about you much more than any self-respecting man would like to admit, and I'm insanely jealous of Dallas-something I never thought I'd say. Moving on after you is impossible. No other girl can keep me on my toes the way you can. No one else makes me WANT to embarrass myself by writing sappy letters like this one._

 _Only you._

 _But I know that I'm right, too. I know you're in love with me, even if you are dating Dallas. You can lie to yourself if you want, but reality is going to catch up with you. I'll be waiting when it does… whether you like it or not._

 _Love,_

 _Austin_

 _p.s.: I know you're all flustered and biting your lip right now, but I don't care. Honestly, it's always been kind of a turn-on._

I stared down at the letter for a long moment, finally understanding what Amy had been thanking me for. Austin was trying to fix things… because of me. Because of what I'd said. I'd actually managed to get through that thick skull of his. That was absolutely shocking to me.

It took a second for the other surprises to sink in. Words like _love_ and _only_ leapt off the page at me. It was my first love letter, I've always wanted a love letter from the boy of my dreams, but it wasn't from the boy of my dreams. It wasn't even from my boyfriend. The wrong guy had given it to me. The wrong guy wanted me. Austin was the wrong guy.

Or was he exactly the right guy?

I was so consumed with my thoughts the letter still blazed against my skin, and I found myself staring down at the tempting words. Why wasn't this easier? Why did Austin have to come along and make me question everything? I felt like I was betraying Dallas with every sentence I read. Like I was cheating on him.

But now I knew that every time I kissed Dallas, I was hurting Austin

"Arrrrrgh!" With a scream that exploded in my chest and clawed its way through my lungs, I wadded the letter into a tight ball and hurled it across the room as hard as I could. It moved through the air slowly before bouncing delicately off the floral wallpaper and landing on the floor.

Finally, with my throat aching, I sank to the floor, buried my face in my hands, and-I admit it-cried. I cried out of frustration and confusion, but mostly for myself, for being caught in such a position, like the selfish little girl I was.

This was too much. I had to get these feelings out and I did the best way I knew out. I went up to my room sat on my bed and began to write in my songbook. The lyrics just poured out of me and onto the page

 _A million thoughts in my head  
Should I let my heart keep listening  
'Cause up till now I've walked the line  
Nothin' lost, but somethin' missing  
I can't decide what's wrong, what's right  
Which way should I go_

 _If only I knew what my heart was telling me  
Don't know what I'm feeling, is this just a dream  
Uh, oh, yeah  
If only I could read the signs in front of me  
I could find a way to who I'm meant to be  
Uh, oh  
If only  
If only  
If only_

 _Every step, every word  
With every hour I am falling in  
To something new, something brave  
To someone I, I have never been  
I can't decide what's wrong, what's right  
Which way should I go_

 _If only I knew what my heart was telling me  
Don't know what I'm feeling, is this just a dream  
Uh, oh, yeah  
If only I could read the signs in front of me  
I could find a way to who I'm meant to be  
Uh, oh  
If only_

 _Am I crazy maybe we could happen  
Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out_

 _If only I knew what my heart was telling me  
Don't know what I'm feeling, is this just a dream  
Uh, oh  
If only I could read the signs in front of me  
I could find a way to who I'm meant to be  
Uh, oh  
If only  
If only  
If only  
If only  
If only  
If only_

I sigh as I finish the last verse.

Dallas, polite, kind, smart. Everything I dreamed of having

Austin, infuriating, surprising, thoughtful, protective, funny, sweet, caring …. Loving. Something I never imagined wanting.

I sighed and closed my book. As I laid down to go to sleep the last thought to enter my mind before I drifted off to sleep- _If Only_

 **A few things**

 **Sorry I took forever to update first my computer was acting stupid but when I got that taken care of a little thing called life kept getting in my way. I've also been writing a few other things, which bring me to point 2**

 **I have decided to write The Duff and the Rockstar from Austin's Point of view. I know some of you have shown interest in that so I'm gonna make it happen. I even have the first chapter done but I won't be posting this until I'm finished with The Duff and The Rockstar. Which brings me to point 3**

 **The Duff and the Rockstar is ending soon! I'm sad but also excited to wrap up this story for you. There is only two chapters left and then an epilogue**

 **Also you guys have decided to have Steal your Heart be the song Austin sings to Ally. So yay!**

 **And finally please review! Til next time**


	24. Chapter 24

**Meant to update Friday but got sick. On the mend though. Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, i was in a rush. Pleas let me know if you see any so i can fix them. Enjoy!**

 **I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

It's been a week since Austin sent the flowers with that earth-shattering letter. I don't know how I made it through that week without going crazy. All I could think about was Austin. Funny thing is I haven't seen Austin at all .., for an entire week. I know he's not sick because I've seen brief glimpses of him leaving a room just as I'm about to enter. He's even skipped any classes we shared (which isn't totally out of ordinary given how much he hates school, but still). It was almost like he was doing it on purpose like he knew that if I saw him it would be too much and I would burst into a puddle of tears. He really did know me.

One thing that I know helped me get through the week was finishing the book Wuthering Heights. Although a majority of the characters were unlikable one except has stuck with me and I don't know why "My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees-my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath-a source of little visible delight, but necessary." For some reason my brain kept changing it My love for Dallas is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees-my love for Austin resembles the eternal rocks beneath-a source of little visible delight, but necessary" I had to shake my head every time that slip up happened

.That little piece of dialogue stayed on my brain so long I couldn't take it anymore. I spent all of last night reading the last few chapters I needed to know how that book ended. Sadly Wuthering Heights doesn't have such a happy ending. Because of stupid, spoiled, selfish Cathy (yeah, I have no room to talk, but still), everyone winds up miserable. Her choice ruins the lives of the people she cares most about. Because she picked propriety over passion. Head over heart. Linton over Heathcliff.

Dallas over Austin

This, I decided as I dragged my exhausted body to school the next morning, was not a good omen. Normally, I don't believe in omens or signs or any of that destiny crap, but the similarities between me and Cathy Earnshaw's situations were too eerie to ignore. I couldn't help but wonder if the book was trying to tell me something.

I was somewhat aware that I was reading way too much into it, but my lack of sleep coupled with the stress of everything else made my mind go to some interesting places. Interesting, but not productive.

I was pretty much a zombie all day, but during the middle of calculus, something finally woke me up.

"Did you hear about Piper?"

"About how she's totally knocked up? Yep. Heard this morning."

My head snapped up from the problem I was still attempting to solve. Two girls sat side by side in the row ahead of me. I recognized one of them as a junior cheerleader.

"Oh my gosh, what a slut," the cheerleader said. "No telling who the father is. She sleeps with everyone."

I hate to admit it, but my first reaction to this was pure selfish fear. I thought of Austin. Sure, he'd rejected Piper in the hallway a few days ago, but what if something had changed? What if that letter had been a joke? A game to mess with my head? What if he and Piper had…

I forced the thought away. This was stupid Austin was always careful. Besides, it was like that girl had said-Piper slept with everyone. The chances of Austin being the father were slim. And I didn't have a right to worry about that, anyway. He wasn't my boyfriend. Even if he had pretty much professed his love for me in a letter. I was with Dallas, and whatever Austin decided to do wasn't any of my business.

My second thought was of Piper. Seventeen, on the verge of graduation, and, if the rumors were true, pregnant. What a nightmare. And everyone knew. I could hear people buzzing about it in the hallway when I left History class. In a school the size of Marino High, it didn't take long for gossip to spread. Piper was the girl on everyone's mind.

Including mine.

So when I walked out of a bathroom stall a few minutes before English and found Piper standing at the sink, reapplying her dark pink lipstick, I had to make an effort to avert my eyes.

But I had to say something. I mean, we weren't super close or anything, but we did eat lunch together every day and she was Kinda my friend. "Hey," I mumbled.

"Hey," she replied, still tracing the lipstick across her lower lip.

I turned on the faucet and stared at my reflection in the mirror, trying hard not to sneak a peek at her. I was failing horribly. How far along was she? Had her parents found out yet? So many questions ran through my mind

"It's not true, you know."

"What?"

Piper capped her lipstick and dropped it into her purse. She was watching me in the mirror, and I could see now that her eyes were a little red.

"I'm not pregnant," she said. "I mean, I thought I was, but the test was negative. I took it two days ago. But I guess someone overheard me telling Carrie and Kira or something. But I'm not pregnant."

"Oh. Well, that's good." I probably could have thought of something better to say but in my defense I was sort of caught off guard.

Piper nodded and tugged at one of her blond curls a little. "I was relieved. I don't know how I would have told my parents. And the guy never would have made a good father."

"Who?"

That was such a selfish question but I had to know. Was she talking about Austin because although he had some flaws and was sure he'd be a great dad. Wait, why did I just say that?

"Just this guy… Eric."

I took a huge sigh of relief. Then, of course, I felt incredibly guilty. This wasn't the time to be thinking about myself. My friend could have become a teen mom and I was doing was praying that Austin wasn't the father. I need help

"He's just this stupid frat boy who gets a kick out of fooling around with high school girls." She looked down, so I couldn't see her eyes in the mirror anymore. "And I didn't even give care. I just let him use me, and I never thought… " She trailed off, shaking her head. "Anyway, I'm glad it was negative."

"Right."

"It was scary, though," she said. "I freaked out when I was waiting for the test. I just couldn't believe I was in that situation, you know?"

"I'm sure," I said, but I didn't find it all that surprising. It was Piper, after all. Hadn't she been setting herself up for that kind of thing for a while? Sleeping with people she didn't care about. Forgetting about the consequences.

Just like I did…

Okay, so it hadn't been people. Austin was the only guy. And I did care about him… now, after I'd stopped sleeping with him. But that was just… well, I didn't know what you'd call it. Not quite luck. Maybe coincidence? Either way, I was smart enough to know that it didn't happen often.

But I had forgotten about the consequences. And it suddenly hit me like a wrecking ball how easily Piper and I could trade places. I could have been the girl everyone was talking about. I could have had a pregnancy scare. Or worse. I mean Austin and I were always safe, but these things fail sometimes. It could easily have failed for us. And yet there I was, judging Piper for pretty much the same thing. I was a hypocrite.

"You are not a whore." I had a sudden flash of Austin that last night in his bedroom, telling me exactly who I was. Telling me that the rest of the world was just as confused as me. That I wasn't a whore, and I wasn't alone.

I didn't know Piper that well. I didn't know what her home life was like or anything that personal aside from her boy issues. And standing there in the bathroom, listening as she told me her story, I couldn't help but wonder if she'd been running away from something, too. If I'd been judging her, when, in reality, we were living scarily similar lives.

Calling Piper a slut or a whore was just like calling someone the Duff. It was insulting and hurtful, and it was one of those titles that just fed off of an inner fear every girl must have from time to time. Slut, prude, tease, ditz. They were all the same. Every girl felt like one of these sexist labels described her at some point.

So, maybe, every girl felt like the Duff, too?

"I'm so late," Piper said as the tardy bell rang. "I should go."

I watched as she gathered her purse and textbooks off the counter, wondering what was going through her head. Had all of this made her realize the consequences of her choices?

Our choices.

"See you around, Ally," she said, moving toward the door.

"Bye," I said. Then, without meaning to, I added, "And, Piper… I'm sorry. It's really messed up the way people are talking about you. Just remember that what they say doesn't matter." Again, I thought of Austin and what he'd said to me in his bedroom. "The people who call you names are just trying to make themselves feel better. They've messed up before, too. We all have. You're not the only one."

She looked a little taken aback.

"Thanks," she said. She opened her mouth like she might say something else, but then closed it again. Without another word, she left the bathroom.

For all I knew, Piper might go out and hook up with another guy that same night. She might not have learned anything from this experience. Or maybe she'd change her behavior altogether-at the very least, she might be more careful. I might never know. That was her choice. Her life. And it wasn't my place to judge.

It was never my place to judge.

And as I walked down the hall I began to think..

I was the Duff. And that was a good thing. Because anyone who didn't feel like the Duff must not have friends. Every girl feels unattractive sometimes. Why had it taken me so long to figure that out? Why had I been stressing over that dumb word for so long when it was so simple? I should be proud to be the Duff. Proud to have great friends who, in their minds, were my Duffs.

"Ally," Mrs. Gibson greeted me as I walked into the classroom and took my seat. "Well, better late than never, I suppose."

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry it took me so long."

It was the day before prom and still no sign of Austin. Maybe he decided to give up chasing me. That thought should of have given me relief but of course all I could feel was sadness and confusion. My thoughts were broken when I heard my cellphone ring. It was Dallas.

"Hello" I said praying my voice didn't sound as somber as I felt

"Hey girlfriend"

"Hey you" I say trying to mimic his attempt at being flirtatious and failing miserably

"I was thinking before we go to prom tomorrow we could have a little dinner at The Beat. They are having an open mic night, sounds fun right?"

"Right" wrong

"Trish and Cassidy couldn't even come along. So what do you say?"

'Yeah that sounds great. I can't wait" And the award for biggest liar goes to … me

"Sweet. I can't wait" Dallas said

"Me neither"

"Tomorrow is going to be amazing Ally"

I sigh and hang up. Tomorrow is going to be something alright

It was 6:30 PM the night of prom. Dallas said he would pick me up at 7 and Trish and Cassidy should be here any minute. After I put on my dress I look at myself in the mirror. I still can't believe Trish found me a dress on such short notice. It was perfect. It was a beautiful shade of red, hugged my curves in just the right places, and it made my legs look like they went on for miles. Trish definitely won best friend of the year award. I was just finishing combing my hair when I heard the doorbell ring. I made my way down the stairs, miraculously not failing in the shoes Trish got me.

I open the door expecting to see Trish and Cassidy who I knew would squeal in excitement at how I looked. But I was completely shocked at who I found on the other side of the door

"Mom?" I asked in a game voice that was a mixture of shock and confusion

She just smiles and pulled me into a hug. Still in shock it took me a few minutes to hug her back "What are you doing here?"

"I came to visit you. I heard my baby girl is going to prom. You look so beautiful"

"Thanks" I said a little embarrassed at the compliment

"Can I come in?"

"Oh of course" I stepped aside to let her in" dad's not here though"

"I know" she was looking over my own around the living room in a way that made me feel anxious for her. "He has his AA meetings on Fridays. He told me"

You talked to him?" This was news to me. As far as I'd known, my parents had been avoiding contact since Mom's reappearance last month.

"We've spoken on the phone twice." She pulled her eyes away from the furniture and focused them on me. They felt like heavy weights on my shoulders. "Ally, sweetie…" Her voice was soft and sad. Painful to hear. "Why didn't you tell me he was drinking again?"

I shifted, trying to slide out from under her gaze. "I don't know," I mumbled. "I guess I just hoped it would pass. I didn't want to worry you over nothing."

"I understand, but Ally, this is a serious issue," she said. "You know that now, I hope. If it ever happens again, you don't get to keep it to yourself. You have to tell me. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"Good." She sighed, looking immensely relieved. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here."

"Why are you here?"

"Because your dad also told me something else," she teased. "Something about a boy named after a city in Texas."

My jaw almost dropped I can't believe dad told her about Dallas "You drove all this way just because I have a date?"

"I have other reasons to be in Miami," she said. "But this is the most important. So, is it true my baby has a boyfriend?"

I blushed and looked down at my feet and mumbled "Yeah"

She pulled me into a hug that felt like a death grip "I'm so happy"

"So am I but can you let go of me I feel oxygen getting cut off from my brain." I say through gasps

She release me "Oh sorry, I got a little carried away there. I'm just so excited, so when do I get to meet my future son -in-law?"

"MOM!" I shrieked my face turning scarlet

"Sorry, I got excited again"

I chuckled a little "He should be here any minute"

She sighed contently "I can't wait to meet Austin"

I'm pretty sure my jaw did drop this time

"What?!"

"I can't wait to meet your boyfriend Austin"

"Austin's not my boyfriend Dallas is. How do you even know about Austin?"

"That's the boy your dad told me about. He said you two seemed to have some connection. He never mentioned a boy named Dallas. Who's Dallas?" she said

"My boyfriend. Dallas is my sweet polite smart boyfriend and who is perfect for me. Absolutely perfect" I rambled out

"Honey are you trying to convince me or yourself" she asked in her signature motherly voice. I haven't heard it in so long

I sigh and plop on the couch

"Oh honey, what's wrong?" she sits down next to me "I know it's been a while but I can still dish out some old fashion motherly advice. What's wrong with this Dallas boy?"

"Nothing. He's absolutely perfect. He's smart and nice and totally right for me. Only there's another guy…

"Austin" my mom finished for me

I nod "Our relationship is just so complicated. And I can't believe I just used that cheesy cliché"

"Well can you give me a little insight on how complicated it is? So I can help you." She asked

I took a deep breath and told her everything (Well not everything, I left out some parts like when Austin walked in on me and Dallas because 1. I don't think my mom would really want to hear every detail of what I've been doing the past few months and 2. Some moments I would prefer be erased from my memory…forever. It's safe to say I gave my mom the PG version of my relationship with Austin. After I finished my mom seemed a little taken aback

"Wow" she said

"Yeah" I mumbled "So you got any motherly advice for me?"

"All I can tell you Ally is to just remember to do what makes you happy, okay? Don't lie to yourself because you think it's safer. Reality doesn't work like that… I think I told you that before."

I smiled. Although my mom hasn't been around and I know we have a lot to go through before everything is back to normal for us but in that moment I was so grateful she was there "Thanks mom"

"Anytime sweetheart" we hug again it felt long overdue. In that moment I realized how much I missed my mother

At that moment, the doorbell rang, and I knew it had to be Dallas. As I reached for the knob, I felt Mom slide into place behind me, ready to observe.

Oh, great.

"Hey," I said, opening the door and glancing away from Dallas blinding smile.

"Hi," he said. "Wow. You look beautiful."

"Of course she does," Mom interjected. "What did you expect?"

"Mom," I hissed, giving her a loo over my shoulder.

She shrugged. "Hello, Dallas," she said, waving. "I'm Penny, Ally's mother. I know, I look more like her sister, right?"

Dallas laughed. "Yes. You read my mind. Um before we go do you mind if I get a bottle of water?"

"Sure. Our kitchen's right there" I point in the direction of the kitchen

When he leaves the room my mom turns to me "He is cute. Definitely son-in-law material. But I think I'm still team Austin"

"Team Austin? Mom this isn't Twilight there are no teams! And how can you be team Austin? You haven't even met him yet" I said in a whisper hoping our voices didn't carry over into the kitchen

"I know, I know. But something about the way you described him, he sounds so charming and cool. I wouldn't mind having him as a son-in-law either"

"MOM!" I shrieked for the second time in the past hour

"Sorry" she said then looked down at her feet

At that moment Dallas walks back into the room. I noticed he doesn't have a water bottle and he looks a little strange. His expression was a mix of having just seen a ghost and just finding out a relative had died.

"Dallas, are you okay?' I asked

He snapped out of his daze "Um yeah, I'm fine. I can get something to drink at The Beat speaking of we should probably get going, Trish and Cassidy are waiting in the backseat of my car"

Something wasn't right Dallas was acting weird but before I can say anything my mom speaks

"He's right. You guys need to so you can dance the night away" Mom said, kissing me on the cheek and pushing me and Dallas out the door "I'm going to pack up some of my things that are still here, but I'll be staying at a hotel for the weekend. We'll have lunch tomorrow so I can get all the details."

She pushed me out the door before I could argue with this, and then I was alone with Dallas on the porch.

"Sorry about her," I said.

"It's cool," He said. Something was still wrong

"Are you sure you're okay Dallas?" I asked again

He nodded "I'm fine" he smiled to try and reassure me but I knew it fake. I decided to let it go. For now

Trish and Cassidy were waiting in the backseat of the Dallas' car. Both of them grinned mischievously at me when I climbed into the passenger's seat. "Someone's dressing sexy," Trish teased. "I told you would look hot in that dress and am I ever wrong?"

"Um,… yeah. Like almost always"

She just rolled her eyes

"Well, I was right today that dress looks good on you," she said. "Looks like I'm the Duff tonight. Thanks a lot." She winked at me, and I couldn't help but smile. Trish had recently taken to using Duff as a word of her own, molding it into our casual conversations. At first I'd found it kind of unsettling. I mean, the word was an insult. It was horrible. But after the revelation I'd had that day in the bathroom with Piper, I appreciated what Trish was doing. The word was ours now, and as long as we held on to it, we could control the hurt it inflicted.

"It's a messy job," I teased. "But, hey, someone's gotta do it. I promise to be the Duff next weekend."

She laughed.

"Are you wearing a padded bra?" Cassidy blurted out, apparently unaware of our conversation. "Your boobs look bigger."

There was a long moment of silence, and I suddenly realized that I would have been safer with my mother.

Trish burst into a fit of laughter as I buried my face in my hands, completely mortified. Dallas didn't show any reaction. And I was so grateful he didn't. Instead of snickering or glancing at my chest to see if Cassidy was right, Dallas acted like boobs hadn't even been mentioned. He just stuck the key in the ignition and pulled out of my driveway.

Note to self, I thought. Kill Cassidy when there are no witnesses.

Though, in a weird way, Dallas; lack of reaction bugged me. Austin would have made a joke. He would have looked at my chest, of course, but then he would have said something. He would have made me laugh. He wouldn't have just ignored it like Dallas

That is something about Austin I never realized I liked so much. He could always bring a smile to my face like no one else...

But of all things. This should not have been something that bothered me.

"You know," Trish said when she was finally able to stop laughing. "It was pretty cool of you guys to invite us along." She smiled at me, and I knew she was glad to be included. "But you realize this is totally going to ruin your night, right?"

"How so?" Dallas asked.

"Because we get to be your chaperones!" Cassidy declared with way too much enthusiasm.

"Which makes it our job to put a stop to all forms of hanky-panky," Trish added. "And we'll enjoy doing it."

"Yep."

But Dallas and I had no need to worry the minute we got inside The Beat, Trish and Cassidy made their way to the dance floor while Dallas and I maneuvered are way through the crowd to a booth

"It looks like they're the ones who need to be chaperoned," Dallas said as he led me to an empty booth.

"That's usually my job," I said.

"Do you think they can survive if you take a night off?"

"We'll see."

He smiled but it was fake just like he last one. What was going on? Before I could question it Greg the bartender walked up on the stage they made for open mic nigh

"Attention ladies and gentleman and drunk dude in the back. I want to welcome you to The Beat's first ever Open Mic night!"

The crowd of teens cheered

"Alright, first up" he looked at his clipboard which I assume had the names of people who were going to perform "Austin Moon!"

My jaw dropped for the 3rd time that night as I saw him run up on stage. Even though it's only been a week since I last saw him it felt like decades. He was wearing a tux almost like he was going to prom too. My eyes get staring at him without my brain's consent. Soon his eyes locked on mine and we engaged in the best staring contest I've ever had

I could see people following Austin's gaze to me, causing me to end our staring contest that I was enjoying more than I'd like to admit. Austin was apparently entranced too as I see him blink like he snapped back in to reality and grabs the mic.

"Hey you guys! This is a song I actually wrote myself"

That surprised I Austin mentioned to me that he is horrible at song-writing. I wonder where he got the inspiration.

As if reading my mind the next thing he says answers my question.

"I was inspired by this girl. I know cliché but she's incredible, not like any girl I've ever known" he looks at me for half a second but then turns his attention back to the crowd " and I can't believe can't believe I'm about to do this but I hope it helps me steal her heart."

As if we have some telepathic power both Trish and I turn to each other with the same look. A look that say ' _No way is he going to do what we think he is'_ Next thing I know the music starts playing

 _You like the good boys  
So I'm not invited to the plans you make  
When you're with your friends_

 **There's no way this could really be happening. It had to be a dream**

 _But you know bad boys  
You can't deny it  
They can always show you where the fun begins  
_ **Nope this was real** _  
Hey now baby,  
No doubt about it, girl  
You drive me crazy  
I'm pleading guilty to the way you make me  
Wanna steal your heart  
Steal your heart_

Call me criminal  
I won't deny you make me want it all,  
Everything you are

So lock it up  
Go on and try it  
No matter what you do  
I'm gonna steal your heart

 **I looked at Trish and Cassidy, they were just as shocked as I was** _  
I confess,  
I kinda like it that you're innocent  
Keeping up your guard_

I'll break it down  
So you can't hide it  
No matter what you do  
I'm gonna steal your heart

You're a good girl  
The perfect picture of an angel's smile  
From a magazine

But it's a new world  
And I know so well the side of you  
No one's ever seen

 **I blushed a little at that part** _  
Hey now baby,  
No doubt about it, girl  
You drive me crazy  
I'm pleading guilty to the way you make me  
Wanna steal your heart  
Steal your heart_

Call me criminal  
I won't deny you make me want it all,  
Everything you are

So lock it up  
Go on and try it  
No matter what you do  
I'm gonna steal your heart

I confess,  
I kinda like it that you're innocent  
Keeping up your guard

I'll break it down  
So you can't hide it  
No matter what you do  
I'm gonna steal your heart

You're gonna keep it  
Just like a secret  
Baby, believe me  
You gotta free it  
And you'll have everything you need

You like the good boys  
So I'm not invited to the plans you make  
When you're with your friends

But you know bad boys  
You can't deny it  
They can always show you where the fun begins

 _Call me criminal  
I won't deny you make me want it all,  
Everything you are_

So lock it up  
Go on and try it  
No matter what you do  
I'm gonna steal your heart

 **As he sung the last few lines he looked directly at me** _  
I confess,  
I kinda like it that you're innocent  
Keeping up your guard_

I'll break it down  
So you can't hide it  
No matter what you do  
I'm gonna steal your heart

When he's done singing he crowd erupts into cheers, but Austin doesn't seem to care. His eyes are on me. I can't believe what just happened Austin just sung a song for me a song he wrote for me. This is too much. I had to get out of here

"Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom" I tell Dallas. I get up and move as fast I can I can feel Austin's eyes on as I push my way through the crowd. As i move I hear people talking about Austin's performance from the crowd

 _That song was totally about me_

 _I didn't know Austin Moon could sing that was awesome_

 _Whoever he wrote that song for is a lucky girl_

I see that the bathroom already has a line of women around the corner. I had to leave so I opted for the next best option the door to the alley.

As I walk out there and feel the cold night air brush against my face all I can think about is what transpired in past few minutes. I only get a minute to think before I hear the alley door open and close again. I don't even have to look to know who it is.

I turn my head to look at the intruder "Hi Austin"

He smiles a little but then it vanishes "Hi Ally"

It was time to face reality

 **I hope you enjoyed. Next chapter is the last chapter. Super sad but also super exciting plus there is going to be an epilogue so there's still something to look forward to. By the way since this story is based on a book are there any other books you think would make a good Austin and Ally story? Let me know! Also why do you think Dallas is acting weird? It is revealed in the next chapter so keep that in mind. Til next time! P.S: To that guest reviewer, I hope I kept with our routine of your school serving mashed potatoes on the day I update**


	25. Chapter 25

**Last chapter! I hope you enjoy (I apologize in advance , if there are any grammar mistakes)**

 **I don't own Austin and Ally or The Duff**

This is one of the most awkward moments of my whole life. It's definitely falls into the top ten moments where I wish I could just disappear. It falls right behind the time Austin walked in on me and Dallas kissing and the time Austin saw my dad super drunk and then punched him after he hit me. The night air was so cold, I even started to shiver.

Austin must have noticed  
"Here" he shrugged off his jacket "Take this" he handed it to me

"Austin, you don't have to-"

He interrupts me "Will you stop arguing with me for once? I want you to take it"

"Fine" I relent and allow him to drape his jacket over me. I had to admit I did feel a lot warmer instantly

But now it's back to silence. Austin and I are in front of each other looking anywhere but at each other.

"We need to talk" we say simultaneously

"You go first" we say again in synch

We both laugh at that

After another moment of silence I just can't take it anymore

"What are you doing here? " I ask

"I could ask you the same thing" he says

"Yeah, but I asked you first"

He smiles at that " Fair enough, I came to check on you. Why did you leave like that?"

"I needed some fresh air"

"Don't lie"

I sighed deeply" I just had to get out of there it was becoming too much"

He looked down at his shoes "Oh"

Now I felt guilty. I hated seeing Austin upset especially when I was the cause of it

"I really liked the song though. it was great" I was telling the truth

I see him smile a little when I say that and I feel a million times better at the sight of it " I meant it you know"

" Meant what?"

"Everything. What i wrote in the letter, what I said on the stage, the song I. I meant every word, i still do"

"Austin"

"Ally, please just let me say this, I need to say this" his voice was a little pleading

I give in to his request partly because I don't really know what to say either

He take a deep breath "Ally I-I. Ally I love you"

My heart is beating so loud and fast that I swear I can hear it beating in my ears. I know Austin said he thought he was falling in love with me in the letter wrote for me. But hearing the confirmation from his own mouth that he is in fact in love with me is a whole other experience. My head was spinning

"And I know that's crazy" he continues "for me to say that I'm in love with you when we haven't even been on a real date, unless you want to count the carnival which sort-of , kinda felt like one, maybe? . I don't know. Ughh. See? I'm even rambling like you!"

"Austin" I try to get him to stop

He ignores me "And I probably seem like some weird stalker with me sending you flowers, and leaving you notes and writing songs for you, but what can I say "he shrugged his shoulders "I'm a man in love" he said the last part with a bit of a with a weird chuckle almost like he couldn't believe what he was saying either

" _Austin_ " I try again to get him to stop, I needed him to stop

Again he ignores me and continues "Do you wanna know when I realized I loved you? It wasn't when you ran out of my house that morning, I just felt confused. And it wasn't even when you started avoiding me at school. I felt something, but I just thought I was missing you, I didn't think those feelings were anywhere near love. I didn't think it was possible. I started to suspect that I might being falling in love with you after I walked in on you and Dallas. It actually made me want to punch his face in but I digress"

"Austin! Just stop!" I yell for him to stop but to no avail he just continues

"After I sent you that letter, I thought maybe if we just had some space from each other that these feelings would just magically go away. So I decided to leave you alone for a week, give you time to think. Give myself time to think"

I couldn't even bring myself to say his name again, I was too shocked at what he was saying that I just let him continue

"But all I could think about was you! Where you were? What you were doing? Who you were with? And that is when I realized that I, Austin Moon, was in love with you Ally Dawson. Crazy huh?" He finally finished his rant and now he was looking at me with his hazel eyes

"Austin "I start, trying not to look him in the eyes because the way he was looking at me was too much "I think you –"

"It's actually not that crazy when I think about it" he interrupts me "Because you're in love with me too"

"What?" I shrieked. I could hear my voice echo through the alley

"You heard me. I said you're in love with me, because you are" he said calmly almost like he was talking about something as casual as the weather or last night's football game

"Austin" I said in the calmest voice I could muster "Do you understand that love is a rare and special thing that most people never get to experience? And do you realize that for the people who are lucky enough to experience it, that it takes years and upon years to develop that amount of trust and intimacy with another person? Do you understand that love is something special that people who are as young and inexperienced as us just don't get to have? Do you understand?"

He looks at me and calmly nods "Yeah but I don't care. I know I love you and I know you love me"

I felt like I was in a parallel universe, did he not understand what I was trying to say? Or was he choosing to ignore me?

I take a deep breath" Out of curiosity, why are you so sure that I'm in love with you?"

He grins, that stupid, cute, arrogant grin I never realized I missed so much "There are several reasons really" he takes a step towards me making take one back

"Reason number one, you and I are one in the same. We both love and want a career in music, we both have screwed up families, and we both understand each other like no one else. We're a perfect match"

"Reason number two" he takes another step forward, I take another one back, why did he keep moving towards me "You constantly run away from me"

"I don't why you think that helps your case"

"Let me finish. One thing I learned about you is that tend to run away from things that scare you and what else could be scarier than you being in love with me?" he asked

"I'm not scared or running away! I'm with Dallas because he is a nice boy" I said trying to convince him and even more myself. I wasn't doing a good job

"But you don't have feelings for him" Austin said "Which brings me to my third reason"

He takes another step and I take another one back but this time my back hits the alley wall. He moves in front of me and puts his arms on either side of the alley wall caging me in. _No more running_

"I saw your face when I was singing back there, you were feeling something that's why you ran out here … with me. And that's why you haven't even attempted to leave and go back to your boyfriend, all this time" As he spoke he got closer and closer. Our faces were only inches apart now

"And do you want to know, how I really know you have feelings for me?" he asked. I could feel his breath on my skin and it sent shivers down my back

"How?" I asked breathless due to our close proximity

"Because I'm about to kiss you and you're not going to stop me" he moved one hand from the wall to caress my cheek and leaned in. I knew it was wrong to be here, about to kiss another boy while my boyfriend is probably inside worrying about me but in that moment I couldn't find it in me to care as I closed my eyes and let the moment take over

Just as our lips were about to be reunited again. I hear the Alley door open. Both Austin and I snap our heads to look at the intruder

"Oh sorry. I didn't know I was interrupting something" Trish says staring at us. I can tell she's shocked at what we were about to do "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Dallas was asking about you"

The mention of Dallas' name snaps be back into reality. I realize where I am and what I was about to do. And the guilt immediately washed over me

I pushed Austin -who still had his arms caged around me- away and turned to Trish "Yeah I'm okay. I just needed some fresh air" it was a horrible lie, she clearly knew what was about to happen

But Bless Trish's heart she played along" Okay, well are you ready to go back in? Don't want your food to get cold right?" and now she was giving me a much needed escape route from this awkward situation I was in. she really does deserve best friend of the year award.

"Yeah, good idea" I say and walk towards her ready to get out of here as fast as I can

Trish stops me"Um Ally" she gives a pointed look to my outfit

I look down and notice I'm still wearing Austin's suit jacket "Oh right"

I shrug it off my shoulders and turn around dreading having to face him again when I was so close to getting away. I see his eyes are on me, they looked sad, defeated

"Here" I hand him back his jacket and when our hands touch for barely a second I feel the electricity move through my whole body

I can tell he feels it too

I quickly turn around and make my way to the door leading back to The Beat. If I stayed one more minute I knew I'd kiss him, Dallas and Trish be dammed. I risked one more glance at him he was just standing there, looking so sad. This just sucks

* * *

As we re-entered The Beat, I felt like a ghost

"You know" Trish said "I'm your best friend so you don't have to tell me what happened back there if you don't want to"

"Good, I won't"

I could see her frown a little at that I couldn't help but smile a little. But my mind stayed on Austin, everything he said it left my mind reeling. But those thoughts all came to a halt when I spotted Dallas

"What are you going to do? Trish asked

"Tell him the truth" I told her and walked in his direction

My feet felt like led as I made my way to the booth. This wasn't going to be easy or pretty, but Dallas deserves better than this, and so did Austin and so did I

"Hey' I said sliding into the booth"

"Hey, you just missed an awesome performance from an EMO band. It was…. interesting " he said

"Sounds fun" I said weakly. I just have to man up and say it

"Dallas I –"

"Hey did you finish Wuthering Heights? Did you like it" he asked me out of the blue, I answered him still

"Well, it gave me a lot to think about." I said. At least that was the truth. I had to steer the conversation back but it looked like Dallas had other plans as he went into a full on book review

"You know, I've always wondered what made Emily Brontë choose to write such unpleasant characters. I mean, throughout the whole book, I just thought that both Heathcliff and Linton were such jerks, and Cathy…"

I swirled my straw in my drink, only half listening. Every time Dallas said Heathcliff, my mind automatically thought of Austin. Especially how he looked after I left. My eyes darted around the place to look see if he was still I couldn't find him. He was gone

"Ally are you okay?" Dallas asked snapping me out of my thoughts

I was messing with my hair ready to resort back to my old chewing habit "I'm fine."

"Trish warned me that you're probably lying when you say that," he said.

I gritted my teeth and searched the dance floor for my so-called friend. She was being added to my hit list.

"And I think she's right," Dallas said.

I sighed. I had to put an end to this. Right now

"Um, actually I have something to tell you" Just rip off the bandage Ally. _No more running_

He raises a hand to stop me "Let me guess, Austin Moon is in love with you?"

I almost spit out my drink. "What? Why do you think that?" I asked hoping, praying I sounded normal

"Several reasons really, but this is the biggest one" he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of wrinkled piece of paper and handed it to me

I looked down at the paper and realized it was the letter that Austin wrote me. I didn't have it in me to throw it away so I just left balled up in a corner of the kitchen, as if it would magically disappear. Dallas must have saw it when he went to my kitchen earlier tonight. Oh no

I look up from the letter in horror "Dallas I can explain"

"Don't worry Ally. I kind of suspected Austin had feelings for you. The way he looks at you at school and the way he looked when he walked in on us … you know, it made me think something was up. Plus the way he was looking at you while he was on stage singing confirmed it

Wow. I never realized Dallas was so observant.

"And by the way you look at him" Dallas continued "I think you're in love with him too"

"What? No,no,no" I cried "Love is a big word, a very big serious word"

Dallas gave me a small smile and said, "Okay, but you do have feelings for him."

I couldn't see any sign of pain in his eyes, just a touch of amusement. That made it a lot easier to give him an answer. "Um… yeah."

"Then go to him."

I cringe at how cheesy that sounds "Dallas, that sounds like a line out of a bad movie."

Dallas shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm serious, Ally. If you feel that way about him, you should go be with him. Right now."

"But what about-?"

"Don't worry about me," he said. "If you want Austin, that's who you should be with right now. Dating me won't make your feelings for him go away… I should know. Definitely don't worry about me, because, Ally the truth is, I'm in the same situation as you. I just didn't want to admit it."

"How?"

Now Dallas was looking guilty "I'm not over Emma."

"Emma Your ex?"

He nodded. "We broke up over a month ago, but I still think about her a lot. I really do like you, but-"

"I'm the not the right girl" I finished for him knowing exactly how he felt

He nods sheepishly" I thought that if we dated, maybe I'd forget about her. For a while I did, but…"

"Well then, you should call her," I said. "Instead of just sitting here pouting, you should call Emma and tell her how you feel. Tonight."

He brought his eyes back up to meet mine. "You're not angry? You don't feel used?"

"That would make me a huge hypocrite since I was kind of using you, too. Even though I really didn't mean to." I slid out of the booth and paused to steady myself on my shoes. "And for the record, if Emma doesn't take you back, it' her loss. I think you're probably the sweetest, most polite guy I've ever met in my life, and I've had a massive crush on you for years. I seriously wish you were the one for me."

"Thanks," Dallas said. "And if Austin breaks your heart, I promise to… well, I would say I'd kick his butt, but we both know that's physically impossible." He frowned down at his skinny arms. "So I'll write him a strongly worded letter."

"Okay," I snorted. I leaned across the table and kissed Dallas on the cheek. "And thank you."

He gave me one more perfect smile, one I would remember for the rest of my life, and said, "You're stalling. Hurry up and go."

"Right. Okay. See you in class, Dallas."

"Good-bye, Ally."

* * *

I searched the whole club, but no sign of Austin anywhere. I even checked the alley as if he would seriously be there still waiting for me.

I was currently searching the dance floor when I saw Trish dancing in the crowd. She really did think she had the Moves Like Jagger. I make my way over towards her to ask if she has seen Austin

"Trish" I yell over the deafening techno music "Have you seen Austin?"

"What? Have I've been to Boston? No why do you ask?" Trish yells back over the music

I roll my eyes and drag her off the dance floor and to the bar. "I said 'have you seen Austin?'"

"Sorry,no" she the narrows her eyes "Why are you looking for Austin? What happened with you and Dallas?"

"We broke up and I'm looking for Austin, I want to be with him" it felt so good to say that out loud

I could tell Trish was trying to contain her excitement

"Go ahead, let it out"

"YES!, Alex and Ava live on!"

I roll my eyes "They might not if I don't find Austin. Do you think Cassidy has seen him?"

"Cassidy left for prom a while ago when she heard Elliot was going to be there"

Prom. Of course he had to be there "I know where he is" I said

"What? Where is he?" Trish asked

"I'll tell you later. I got to go" I ran out of the club-well, as fast as I could in these stupid heels.

* * *

I entered the gymnasium where the prom was being held. I felt like I was playing the biggest game of 'Where's Waldo' ever! Except in this version Waldo is blonde and has a much better sense of style. I spot Austin's friend Dez by the punch bowl, maybe he would know where he was.

When I was about only a few feet from Dez, a sound filled the speakers that were blasting music through the gymnasium. A screech of feedback assaulted my ears-and totally scared the life out of me. I was so startled that I jumped, which wouldn't have been a big deal in any other shoes.

My foot landed on the side of my heel, throwing me completely off balance. Before I could recover, my ankle gave way and I'm about to fall. But before I hit the ground I feel two strong arms wrap around my waist from behind me, balancing me and saving me from falling flat on my face in front of everyone. I don't even have to turn around to know who it is.

"Are you okay?" his deep voice ask in my ear both confirming my suspicions and sending a shiver down my back

I turn around to face him he still had his arms around my waist "Yeah thanks. I hate these shoes"

"Then why did you wear them?" I could tell he was trying not to laugh

"Shut up. I didn't really feel that embarrassed. Not with Austin. Had it been anyone else, I would have ran-or hobbled away, but with Austin it felt okay. Like we could laugh about it together. "You know you can let go right?"

"Yeah I know" but he just stood there with his arms still wrapped around me "What are doing here? Where's Dallas?"

"We broke up"

"Are you serious?"

I nod "Yeah we just broke up"

"Why?"

"Because I have feelings for someone else." I said smiling "He is probably the most arrogant, annoying, infuriating man I've ever met"

"Damn. I thought you were talking about me" he smiled

I smiled even more, which I didn't think was possible. We both just stood there smiling like idiots

But then Austin's smile faded and his face became serious. He stared at me for a long moment making me feel uneasy he finally opened his mouth. "Ally, I-"

"Ally! Omigosh!" Cassidy materialized at my side, her cheeks pink from. Behind her, the speakers were working again but now they were playing slow songs. I noticed people pairing off and beginning to slow dance around us

"Oh, Ally, I finally found you! Did you see? Elliot and I were dancing together! Isn't that great?"

"Good for you, Cassidy."

"I have to go tell Trish!" Then she spotted Austin. A knowing smile spread across her face as she said, "See you two later." And with a whip of her blond hair, she was gone.

Austin watched her vanish into the crowd with an amused expression. "She does know Elliot prefers men, right?"

"Let her have hope," I said, smiling to myself.

He turned his attention back to me "Speaking of hope, I hope you'll let me have this dance" I smile and take his outreached hand

We go to the center of dance floor and start to sway to the music. His arms around my waist and mine around his neck. I could feel people staring at us but I don't care

"I knew you'd give in sooner or later." Austin says holding me close to him. "You're finally going to admit that you love me, aren't you?"

"First of all," I began, "I don't love you. I love my family and Trish and Cassidy, but like I said romantic love takes years upon years to develop. So I don't love you. But I will admit, I've thought a lot about you lately and I definitely have feelings for you… feelings other than hatred for the most part. And maybe it's possible-in the future-that I… could love you." I hesitated, a little scared of the words that'd just left my mouth. "But you still annoy me half the time"

Austin's grin turned into a genuine smile. "Man, I've missed you." He leaned down to kiss me, but I reluctantly held up my hand to stop him. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"I want to take things slow" I said, remembering Piper and the scare she'd gone through. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. We're going to move at the speed of a normal high school relationship."

Austin moved one hand that was on my waist up to brush a lock of hair out of my face. His hand stayed there caressing my cheek "But neither of us is normal."

"That's true," I acknowledged. "But this part of us will be normal. Look, I'm not saying we can't build back up to that point. We'll just… take it a little more slowly."

Austin thought about this for a moment before letting that crooked grin slide across his lips again. "Okay," he said, looking at me with his piercing brown eyes. "That's fine. There are other things we can do." His fingers moved from cheek to across my collarbone, gliding down my arm and sending a shiver up my spine. "I have a job to finish, I believe. We were interrupted last time-in your bedroom-but I could show you again. I look forward to showing you."

I took a deep breath, trying to ignore this statement and the burst of excitement it gave me. "We're going to go on dates," I continued, clearing my throat. "Nice dates. And you're never ever going to call me Duffy again either."

Austin's smirk faded and he bit his lip. "Ally," he said quietly. I could barely hear him over the music. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much it hurt you. I should never have called you the Duff in the first place. I didn't know you then. I didn't-"

I shook my head. "Stop," I said. "I know you're sorry and I know you wouldn't' have said it if you knew how it made me feel. But it did make me realize something, I am the Duff. But so is everyone else in the world. We're all Duffs."

"I'm not the Duff," Austin said confidently.

"That's because your only real friend is Dez."

"Oh. Right."

"And," I continued, "If we are going to make this work, we are going to have to put in the work. That means a lot of communication, listening, building trust and especially-" I never get to finish my speech because Austin closed the distance between us by kissing me, effectively shutting me up .and it feels incredible and electric. It's been way too long and I couldn't care less that we were currently in front of the whole student body making out like fools

When we finally pull apart, we press our foreheads together and , just look into each other eyes. I swear he could hear my heart with how loud it was beating

"Wow" he said smiling

"Wow" I said back in agreement.

That kiss was different than any we ever had before. It had this spark that I didn't even realize was missing. It was amazing, it was incredible, it was… Love. I can't believe Austin was right again... But right here in this moment I knew I was in love with Austin Moon, logic be dammed. But there was no way I was going to give him the pleasure and tell him. At least not now

We spend the next few minutes staring into each other's eyes, goofy grins on both of our faces. I finally get the strength to break eye contact from him. I could stare into those eyes forever.

I look around to see everyone is staring at us.

Trish who must have arrived while we were dance, is looking at us with a face that I know means I _told you so_

Cassidy was smiling from ear to ear

Both Kira and Piper faces were a mix of shock and confusion. I couldn't blame them I never thought I'd be here either

I even saw Austin's friend Dez happy dancing. Although it kind of looked like he just had to go to the bathroom

I grow a little shy at all these people looking at us

I turn back to look at Austin

"Everyone in school is staring at us"

"You're the only person I see"

I was about to tease home for sounding so cliché but one look into his eyes and I knew he was being sincere

"I guess the school can't believe the school dork and the bad boy player are actually together"

The smile he had immediately turns into a frown

"Ally, you're not a dork and I'm not a bad boy player" he says "I'm just Austin and you're just Ally"

I smile "We're Austin and Ally"

He smiles back "We're Austin and Ally"

And our lips connect again, and it feels so right

Austin and Ally, we really are a perfect match

 **Well I hope you enjoyed. I can't believe this is the final chapter. I'll officially thank you guys for support in the epilogue and I also have an announcement in there as well so I'll try and get that posted soon. Til next time!**


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